Riley and Devin

Chapter Forty-four

Devin's easy to get sucked into. He's funny and easy to be around and I guess that would be why I'm spending my Sunday with him. I told myself that I was going to go this morning when I was laying awake last night. But then he shifted closer to me and I thought that it wouldn't be so bad if it was just the weekend. So, we're sitting across the table from each other.

"Do you want to go camping?" he asks me. I take a sip of my coffee and look at him.

"Why?" I ask him. He takes a bite of his pancakes. I made breakfast.

"Well, I dunno. It'd be fun," Devin tells me. I raise my eyebrows. "We could go right after you get back from California."

"Umm, okay," I say, "Is there any reason why you want to go camping all of the sudden?"

"I just think it would be a good way for us to kind of have a last get together before college," he says.

"We are going to the same college, remember?" I ask him.

"Yeah, but we might not see each other as much. We can drive North and there's a campsite we can use. My family used to go there," he says. His eyes flash, probably when he thinks about the few good family memories he has. His father was never great, even before.

"Sure, just us?" I ask him. He nods. "And just one weekend? The second to last one before we start?" He nods again. "Okay, yeah. It sounds like fun." Devin smiles. The kind of smile that makes my heart break a little more.

We finish eating and then we wash dishes. "You wanna watch a movie?" Devin asks me. I nod and we walk to the living room. Devin picks out a movie and then we sit down on the couch. He puts his arm around my shoulders. I put my head on his chest and breathe in the smell of him. The movie sucks but I don't really care.

I haven't spent much time with Devin besides my birthday weekend. And I don't plan to spend a lot of time either. We have about a month if school left and then I'm gone for the summer, which is for the better. I can't trust myself to be around him.

Even just being next to him.

"Have you talked to your brother?' I ask him. His eyes widen.

"Um, not exactly. Do you-do you think that he might be a teensy bit mad?" Devin asks me.

"Yeah, he might be a bit madder than that. But like I said, Theo will probably him from murdering you, just cuz it would really suck if Nick was in jail," I tell him.

"Thank you, for that," Devin says.

I smile bashfully and then say, "Yeah, well. I actually called him and talked to him when you were passed out. He's gonna be here soon."

"Fuck! Babes, why would you do that?" he asks me.

"I was pissed off," I tell him. Devin grabs my hips and pulls me onto my lap. I gasp. "What are you doing?" I ask him. My forehead is pressed against his and my legs are around his waist, so I'm straddling him. His hands are on my waist and his eyes are glittering with amusement. I can't even hear the TV.

"Isn't is obvious?" Devin asks. I can't think, or I can but only about kissing him and how it good it feels to be touching him. About how much I want to kiss him and how far away our lips are. There's really no more than barely a few centimeters, millimeters even.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. His lips quirk up into a smile.

"I'm using you as my shield against my brother," Devin tells me. And I know I should be scrambling off his lap but I can't seem to move. And maybe it's the look in his eyes or maybe it's my attraction to him. Maybe it's my desperation or need for him. Or maybe it's because I miss him. But I can't seem to move. Closer or farther.

"So, I'm your barrier? Or did you just want me to be on your lap?" I ask him. At least I can talk. But I'm flirting, so maybe I shouldn't talk. His hands run up and down my torso. I shiver even though I'm not cold. "Or did you want me closer so you could kiss me?" I bite my lip.

There must be something seriously wrong with me.

I shift myself a little bit closer to him and slide my hands to his stomach. I don't seem to have control over my body. My eyes are searching his, looking for signs of regret or disgust or any other thing. But I don't find any of those things. Instead I see hunger and desire.

And then his hand moves to my thigh and that seems to undo us both because then we're kissing. And my hands are cupping my face and I move my hips to be closer to his. Devin's hands roam over my body, mainly the curves of me.

I move my hands under his shirt and then he's taking it off. He throws it over his head and we go back to kissing. I kiss him as hard as I can because I really do need him. I've been aching for this for so long that I can't seem to have any self control, or restraint. I've tried so hard not to give into my feelings and now that I can it feels amazing and I feel lighter than I ever have.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop.

I don't know if Devin actually likes me romantically or if he just is physically attracted to me but it seems like he might be because he's kissing me with pent up restraint and long held need.

His hands slip under my shirt and I gasp. But I don't hesitate to take it off. And then I'm just wearing my bra and my jeans. He breaks the kiss to kiss my neck and I arch my back up so I'm closer to him. His lips trail down my neck to my shoulder and then to my collar bone. I tangle my hands in his hair and it's silky. His lips feel so good against my skin.

And then my bra strap slips off my left shoulder and he moans quietly. He continues to kiss me and his hands are low on my hips. I don't know how much longer I can take not kissing him. I move my hands from his hair to his back and explore the muscles of his back and shoulders.

I draw his lips back to mine and then we kiss, deeper and more passionately than before. He kisses me harder and I kiss him just as hard. His hands squeeze my hips lightly. I adjust my legs so I'm closer to him and so I have a firmer grip on his hips. He pulls back. "Hang on tight," he says with a voice thickened by lust and passion.

And I hold on tighter to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs tighter around his hips. He stands up and starts to walk and I get anxious as he's not kissing me. So I take matters into my own hands and kiss him.

My back is against the wall and he's kissing me. I don't even think we made it a couple feet from the couch. But I don't care because he's kissing me and it feels like he might actually love me. Or maybe I'm just crazy and drunk on him but there's something in the way he touches me and then the way he kisses me that just makes me wonder.

But I stop thinking because his hand brushes the bare bottom of my lower back and I can't focus on anything else besides him. My hands wander down to his stomach and I feel him tense beneath my touch.

I break away and kiss his jawline and then down his neck. I kiss him softly and sweetly, trying to tell him how I really feel without actually saying anything. And then he pulls my lips back to his and kisses me more desperately than he ever has. He kisses me like he needs me, needs to kiss me. He crushes me against him and I don't mind because we're even closer this way.

He starts walking back towards the couch but he must decide that it's too far because then I'm laying against the ground. I roll on top of him and then he's gripping my waist tightly and we're kissing harder, deeper.

I have no idea how far things are going to go but I don't care.

He moves one hand to my lower back and his fingers are brushing the waistband of my jeans. His other hand is resting right under the clasp of my bra. My thigh is between his knees and my hands are trying to memorize the way he feels underneath my fingers.

And then I hear the door start to open.