Riley and Devin

Chapter Fifty-One

Devin groans as he rubs his stomach. "I think I ate too much," he moans. I laugh. He and his brother had a competition to see who could eat more Chinese food. He didn't win.

"That's what you get," I say. "Hey, do you still have that one book of mine? You know the one that I loaned you when we were on the plane ride?" He nods.

"It's in my bag," Devin says. He points to his bag. I crouch down and dig around looking for my book. I shift around in the bag and something cool and metallic touches my fingers. I pull it out.

It's a small gold heart shaped locket. "Hey, what's this?" I ask him. His eyes widen when he sees it.

"Oh, uh, it's um, a necklace," Devin says. He looks completely alert now.

"Yeah, I know that. But who's it for?" I ask Devin.

He coughs. "You," he says. His eyes won't meet mine.

"Are you sure?" I ask Devin. "You said it like a question."

"Yes. It's yours," he says. He stands up. "Do you want me to put it in for you?" Devin asks. I nod and drop the necklace into the palm of his hand. His breath tickles my neck as he pulls my hair to the side. His fingers undo the clasp and slide the necklace around my neck. It's the perfect length. Just a little bit past my collar bone.

"Thank you," I say. He nods. He goes back to sitting down on the bed. I lay down and play with locket. I open it. Inside, engraved is Thank you and on the other side there's a small piece of ribbon. "It isn't," I say.

"It is," Devin says. He grins at me. It's the ribbon that I loved in elementary school, the green one that matched my eyes.

"How'd you even find this?" I ask him.

"I have my ways," he says. And I know I shouldn't, but I hug him anyways.

"Is it real gold?" I ask him. I don't think it is and I don't really care.

"Yeah," he says softly.

"Thank you, I really mean it," I tell him. He nods. I grab a tank top and pajama shorts from my draw in the dresser and walk to the bathroom. I change and then stare in the mirror at the necklace. I touch it. I can't believe that he gave it to me.

I can't believe that there's a piece of the ribbon from over ten years ago and  I can't believe that it's real gold. It's so sweet. So unbelievably sweet. I grab my jeans and shirt and then walk back to Devin's room. I pass Theo in the hallway and smile at him.

I turn the light off in Devin's room and crawl into bed next to him. I think he's sleeping but then his arms wrap around my waist pulling me to his chest. His lips touch the back of my neck and I shiver. I press my back closer to his chest. I pull the covers up and my eyes start to close. My fingers brush the locket and I smile.

I know he doesn't love me or have any romantic feelings for me but it does seem a bit strange to give your best friend an expensive heart shaped locket. But I'm probably just seeing things and being weird. Looking for things that aren't there.

I hear soft snores coming from Devin. I roll over and look at him in the dark. He looks so innocent and vulnerable sleeping. Everyone does. His lips are slightly parted. I can see the tiny scar right underneath his lip. It happened when we were kids, running. He was running and I was trying to tag him and then he slipped and hit his mouth against the sidewalk.

I feel like a such a dork for knowing this. But it's what best friend's should know. I should know how he got his scars and what his favorite movie is. What his hopes and his dreams are.

I shouldn't know how his eyes darken when he's kissing me. I shouldn't know that he likes to touch my waist and that he likes the way my hips feel.

I sigh. He's right here, right next to me, but he feels so far away. I'll never be able to have him. Never be able to kiss him whenever I want. I'll never be able to lace my hand with his, just because I feel like it. I'll never be able to know what it's like to call him mine.

What am I supposed to do though?

There's really nothing that I can do. All I can do is try to keep away from him and try to keep my feelings to myself. I play with the locket and look at him. I know it's creepy to be staring at somewhen when they sleep but I don't care. I reach out and gently touch his face. I run my fingers lightly across his jaw and then up to his cheeks and farther up to his temples. I brush the hair back from his forehead. And then I trace his lips with my finger.

Maybe he can be mine in the darkness.