possessive |COMPLETED|

chapter 13

[edited]

So you know how I said I imagined Blade looking like Calum Hood? To be honest, Blade's ethnicity and looks waffle from chapter to chapter, so he's really up to you. In this chapter, I imagined him as Youjin from KNK.

Warning! This chapter mentions self harm and abuse. I'm sorry if this bothers you, please tell me if it does.

~

[jasper]

This was a whole new side of Blade that I hadn't seen in quite a while. He was protectively clinging to Saely, who'd passed out on our way to my car. He was an anxious person at heart, but his past had forced him to grow an impenetrable shell that only opened for those he truly trusted. I'd never personally met his parents, but I knew they're business people, both CEOs. Blade told me about his ex over a year ago. She was two years older than him and the queen of their high school. Blade had been duped by her false charm into thinking she really liked him. She got him in with the wrong crowd so he began to actually be a huge asshole delenquent In his sophomore year, she tried to take their relationship to the next level against his will and that's where it all went wrong.

"Jasper, are you alright?" I jumped at Blade's voice. Glancing to the back seat, I got a magnificent view of his eyes. There was a hint of that innocence that he used to have. Camilla had wrecked a perfect, naive boy who just wanted to be loved by someone. It must have been horrible to face her again after what she did to him. 

"Jasper!" Blade shouted.

"Huh?" I blinked at him.

"You good? You just spaced out really bad." He looked worried.

"Yeah... I'm fine." I turned back to the road, waiting for the light to turn green. "Can you get my phone out of my backpack?" I needed to call Hayden and tell him to meet us at our house. Blade pushed my phone onto the seat beside me. I pressed Hayden's contact while speeding through the light that finally changed color.

"What's wrong?" Hayden had agreed to come over, but was visibly agitated. He wasn't exactly a delinquent, so skipping class was very much outside his comfort zone.

"I don't think Sae or Blade can go to school any time soon." I looked up the stairs to where they were sleeping.

"Why, did Blade kick someone's ass for looking at Sae weirdly?" He chuckled, making me smile slightly. How'd I get so lucky to have him?

"Not exactly. I'll explain later." Hayden was one of the many who saw Blade as a sly, untouchable badass who didn't care what anyone thought. It would be really difficult trying to explain how Blade could actually feel emotions like sadness.

[blade]

How the hell could Camilla do something like this? It took me so long to suppress her from my mind, yet I could already feel the old emotions coming out. I checked to see that Saely was totally asleep, before easing myself off of her bed and heading to the bathroom across the hall. 

Once inside, I rolled up the sleeves of my black button down. Immediately, I winced at the marred skin sliding into view. There was a stark contrast of the massive, winding scars caused by others compared to the orderly, faint lines inflicted by myself.

My eyes darted around, finding some makeup wipes on the counter. Shakily, I opened them and began to remove my foundation and eyeliner. I didn't wear makeup often, just occasionally on days that I felt ugly. I could feel my heart rate speeding up to scary levels. This was bad, very bad. I hadn't had a panic attack in a little over a year, so why the hell was it happening now? Dammit, dammit, I need my anxiety medicine. I didn't carry them with me anymore cause I thought I'd fixed myself.

"Blade?" Crap, Jasper couldn't see this. He'd start monitoring me again. "I heard a thump, is everything okay?" Respond, you worthless peice of- "Blade, I'm coming in."

[jasper]

I shoved the door open. Blade was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaking. "Oh shit, HAYDEN!" I yelled, not caring if Saely woke up.

"Wha- oh my god, Blade!" Hayden looked terrified.

"Go down to the cabinet in my room. Grab the one labeled "anxiety"." I turned to Blade, kneeling to reach his eye level. "You are going to be fine, understand? You've done this before." He glanced up at me and all the memories from last year came flooding back. Every time I talked him through a panic attack, every time I caught him cutting , it all came back to me. "Breathe, okay? You're alright." He nodded slightly, shaking significantly less than before.

"Here you go!" Hayden ran in with a cup of water and the anxiety meds I keep on hand for Saely. Tapping out two pills, I handed them to Blade along with the water. They seemed to help tremendously. Standing carefully, Blade rolled down his sleeves and smiled half-heartedly at Hayden and me.

"Thanks guys." He sighed, brushing back his hair.

"No problem. This is why I'm a medical student." I grinned back. My boyfriend was too shocked by the whole scene to say anything.

"Why are we all in the bathroom?" Saely's voice, laced with sleepiness, came from the doorway. Before I knew it, I was shoved up against the wall, by Blade, who enveloped her in a massive hug.

"I love you so damn much, never leave me, okay?" Saely looked shocked by the sudden confession, but hugged him back.

"I love you too." We awwed the mushy couple in front of us.

"How come you don't do that to me?" Hayden nudged me and fake pouted.

"Because you already know you're my world." I squashed him in a massive bear hug. Now we were the ones getting awwed.

~

Writing this is actually really therapeutic because I get to include my own life experiences in this.

Hugs for all!

C