devoted 2. || grayson dolan

how

Sophia.

We've been in the dance studio for one hour and I'm already tired. We just finished filming a video and now we are starting to learn a new dance to Despacito by Luis Fonsi , Daddy Yankee and Justin. I'm really excited because I honestly fucking love that song. I can't wait to show Justin the dance, he'll go nuts.

"Sophia, are you going to Playlist?" Summer asks as she hands me a water bottle. I take it from her and smile.

"Not sure, are you?" I ask. We were all asked to attend Playlist Live in Chicago this year. I'm really thinking of going because some of my favorite YouTubers will be there and also some friends I've made through out the year.

"He'll yeah, I wanna meet everyone and Mikey" she says and I giggle. She has a huge crush on Mikey. I don't blame her because he is in fact hot.

"Well if you go then I'll go, now I know I won't be alone" I say and she nods her head. We both get back up and go over the 5 a-counts that Roman showed us.

After dance practice is over me and summer go out to eat some chipotle. I texted Bea asking if she wanted some but she said she was at Alex house eating pizza.

Me and Summer met three months ago. She's a great and funny girl. She's so care free and confident, if your having a bad day she somehow makes me you smile and feel better.

"Harry's tickets go on sale tomorrow!" She says and I nod my head with wide eyes.

"I KNOW! I'm waiting for the code. I'm so ready to enter war for those tickets. I just really hate how most of the tickets will be be bought by rich scammers and the actual fans who have worked their ass off for the money to go see their idol, won't have the chance too" I say. I seriously hate it. It's not fair at all.

Summer frowns and nods her head.

"I feel you. I love Harry with all my heart, but that was stupid of him to do. But I mean it is what it is" she says and I nod my head agreeing with her.

If I'm honest I don't think I'll ever love a man the way I love Harry fucking Styles. Just hearing his name makes me have breathing problems.

We continue talking about Harry and how we can't wait for his album to come out, how she wants me to hook her up with Justin and how caffeine makes her fart a lot.

"Sophia" a voice says behind me. I slowly look up and tilt my head to the side. My eyes meet his pair of hazel eyes.

"Umm h-hi" I say. He smiles at me.

"Can we talk?" He asks. I glance at Summer and I see her standing up. "I'm gonna use the bathroom, I'll be back" she says and leaves. I sigh and nod my head.

Bryan sits in front of me and plays with his thumbs.

"How have you been?" He asks after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Good...and you?" I ask. I feel so much guilt.

"Good. Look I just wanted to talk to you in person and let you know that I'm not mad with you. I get that you don't love me. That's not your fault, like you said you can't control your feelings. I also want to apologize for making it seem like I just wanted sex from you. I didn't want that. I just wanted you to show me that you loved me, but I would think of sex because...well I'm a fucking idiot. I truly do-did loved you. I don't want to be enemies, I want to keep talking to you as a friend, I want you to trust me and tell me things. I-I'm just really s-sorry for not making you happy the time we were together" he explains. I take everything he says and I crack a smile.

"You should...I know that deep inside you are Bryan. And I would love to still be just friends with you. I don't want things to be awkward between us. Don't ever say you never made me happy the time we were together, you did. You were there for me when I was going through a ruff patch in my life. This can be this way" I say and he smiles nodding his head. He stands up and pulls me into a hug.

"I understand it all. I'm glad we talked, now I'll leave you to finish your food" he says and kisses my cheek. I nod my head.

"Me too"

"Bye Sophia"

"Bye Bryan"

-
I sit on my balcony with a glass of chocolate milk and my journal in my lap. I've been written in this journal ever since I started tour. I knew I wasn't gonna have anyone I knew so I decided to get one to write all my feelings and thoughts. I'm currently reading one from three months after Grayson broke up with me. God I was so depressed.

Today I played soccer with Justin. I met his siblings, which was the most cutest shit ever. I also FaceTimed my mom, Sandra and Mia. Now I'm here sitting in my bunk bed listening to some oldies and writing in this journal. Today I felt...sad. I was reminded once again if him. I don't understand myself. I promised myself to never get heart broken by someone, and yet here I am, crying over a breakup that happened three months ago. I saw his twitter and it looks like he's moved on. I'm happy for him, I just hope that person makes him happier then me, I hope she tries harder and makes him open up to her. There are nights when I think about the sound of his snores, his smile, his eyes, the way his arms would hug me when I was cold. How everyday we would say I love you. The little things. But then I think about his last words to me. He cheated. Simple as that. He didn't care, he didn't think it would hurt me. He probably thought that because I'm 16 I wouldn't understand what a true heartbreak would be like. I feel as if he took something from me. He hurt me so fucking bad that I can't help but feel a little anger towards him. I loved him so much that I see myself as a fool. How could I fall for someone who never opens up, someone who keeps to much secrets, someone who ended up cheating me because I'm not good enough. How?

I sigh and bite my lip. My phone starts buzzing but I ignore it. I want to be alone. I flip the page and read over some lyrics I wrote. They're pretty good and deep. I smile and get up and make my way to my room, I grab my guitar and I sit back down on the small couch. I start playing around with the strings until I make a melody that I love. I'm gonna make this into a song.

•••

I'm so sad. I didn't get tickets to go see Harry😭. I was 2 FCKING minutes late and they were all sold out. Comment if you go tickets to go see him!!❤️

Anyways this chapter explained more about how Sophia felt when she was gone on tour. I've never gotten my heartbroken so I'm sorry if there's not much detail🙃

Thank you for reading! Vote & comment💛