devoted 2. || grayson dolan

talks

*not edited*

Sophia.

"You said you would never model. What made you want to do it now?" Grayson asks. We've been sitting outside of my apartment in the balcony. He's eating a watermelon with a spoon and I'm playing my guitar.

I told him what happened last week.

"I said I would never speak to you again. Things happen without you having control over them..." I say and stare at him. He rolls his eyes and sits up straight.

He's mad.

"First of all...yes Sophia. You do have control over them. And second, when will you stop throwing at me the fact that I fucked up? Why do you even talk to me when I know you still fucking hate me. YOU should be the one to make your goddam mind and stop acting like a child. I asked you to forgive me and you did. We promised to never bring back that past, but here you are...saying things that you know hurt me." He says and I stay quite. I sigh and stand up.

"Don't walk away" he mumbles

"Well maybe that's my way of saying that I'm still hurt...that every time I look at you, I think of the past. I think of what YOU did, and how much it hurt. I'm sorry I can't control my feelings!" I say. I walk back inside and stand in front of the tv. Grayson walks in and raises his eyebrow.

"So now you're the one who's not being honest?" He asks. I frown and chuckle.

"I've been honest all this time. You haven't..." I say and I groans.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" He asks in a louder tone.

"YOU LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING GRAYSON. You lied about not loving me, you lied about carrying for me..." I say and look down.

"I've never lied about loving you. I've always loved you Sophia. You're the one who lies about that.  I asked you if you used to love me...but you walked away. Now tell me. Do you have feelings for me now?"

"I-I left because I was confused"

"Okay. Well now answer my question." He says and stares into my eyes as he walks closer to me. I blink and bite my lip as my hands shake.

"First answer mine. Why? Why did you break up with me? What was the reason that made you want to let me be free?" I ask. He shuts his eyes and sighs.

"Because I'm not-wasn't good for you. My life was so fucked up. My first instinct was to let you go, so I wouldn't drag you into my problems. I was barley finding out who I was. But now I know it. And I know that I want to be with you, but that will not happen unless you tell me what you feel. The truth" he explains and I slowly nod my head.

Be honest Sophia. Stop lying to yourself.

"What I feel is...the s-same. I like you, and I did used to really love you...you were my first love Grayson. But now I don't know if us being together again is smart. As much as I know you hate this word...you're more famous. Which means more people will not like the fact that you are dating someone...especially me. But, if you're willing to risk that, then I'm willing to try and be something more then friends. I just don't want you to let something small affect us, and think that I'm better off without you. Because believe me I'm not.okay..." I say and sigh. I grab my hands and play with them as I watch him look down at the floor.

"I'm willing to risk anything"

-

I yawn and look at the clock. It's 5.45 pm. Today I came to see Louis. He messaged me and told me that he already had some business for me. I got really excited and I told Grayson's to meet me tonight at the beach so we can talk more about...us.