devoted 2. || grayson dolan

dead

Sophia.

"Are you hungry?" Louis asks as he walks to his kitchen. This time he told me to come over to his place, because his office was being fixed. I smile and shake my head.

"I just ate, thank you" I say and he nods his head before he grabs a apple and sits down on the couch in front of me. His apartment is really cute. It's very aesthetically pleasing.

"I have huge news, you're gonna be so happy" he says and I smile. I pull my hair up in a pony tail and take my phone out. I take some selfies, Louis noticed and tells me he wants to take one with me.

We talk about my relationship. I tel him how I'm very happy and that I think this time it won't end as soon, even though I'll be traveling. He tells me how he actually is talking to someone who he thinks isn't right for him, but he can't decide. I tell him he should really think about because they'll both end up hurting each other if the rush things. I've made the mistake once, so I can understand.

"Now, let's talk about, you, I'll be giving you your first pay check. It's up in my bedroom" he says and stands up. He runs to his room and then comes back with a white envelope. He hands it to me and I thank him. I decide not to open it now, I'll do it when I'm alone.

"I also got a call...from Adidas..." my eyes got straight to his and I give him a surprised look. I try to calm down and not get my hopes up.

"Oh god, please tell me more!" I say and he giggles.

"Well I don't know if you know, but they just got Kendall Jenner to be their new face for their clothing line...well they also where looking for someone, your age. I'm great friends with one of the workers in the management and I pulled some strings together and they said they would love if you could do like a small addition, you'll have to do some shoots, and in less then a month they'll let me know. But I'm fucking sure you'll get in. They talked me and said you're beautiful and you have such a great personality..." I can feel my eyes becoming watery. He aw's and I shake my head laughing.

"I'm sorry. I-I just can't fucking believe this. YES! When's the audition?" I ask and bite my lip nervously.

"It's next week, on Tuesday" he says. I fave palm my face and groan.

"I have vidcon" I sadly say.

"Wait how are you doing vidcon?" He asks

"My dance teacher is also a manager and I'm signed with her on dance, so she was asked to bring us all to do a performance and meet fans. But I can try and talk to her and tell her if I can be gone just for Tuesday..." I say and he nods his head.

"Do that, if she says no then let me know and I'll try to work it out. Don't stress out about okay? You'll be there" he says and I nod my head.

-

I sigh and shut the door. I place my phone on the table island and look around the apartment for Bea. I knock on her bedroom door and she tells me to come in. I open the door and see her laying in her bed with her computer on her lap.

"Hi" I say and sit at the end of the bed. She glances at me and says hi. She's different. Ever since we hanged out she started acting strange.

"Can we umm talk?" She says and shuts her laptop. I nod my head and sit up straight. She sighs and crosses her legs.

"I-I need to tell you something. Please don't get mad. I'm going to....move in with Alex in one month" she says. I look at her a few seconds before I nod my head.

"Okay. Why would I be mad?" I ask. She rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.

"I don't know because you'll be alone. And I hate the thought of you living alone. I know how you get..." she says and I chuckle.

"Honestly it wouldn't be a difference. You're gone all the time Bea. We don't even hang out anymore because you're either with Alex, or with your other friends" the people I show her to. Now they're like bestfriends.

She shakes her head and stands up.

"So it's my fault? I'm sorry that I have a boyfriend who actually makes me happy. I'm sorry that you are so fucked up mentally that you can't make up your dam mind and love someone. Sophia, I won't just dedicate my friendship to you. I'm not like you, I like to go out and socialize." She says in a stronger tone.

I stand up and leave the room. I'm not going to argue with her. As I walk to my room she catches up to me and grabs my arm.

"Answer. Don't walk away" she says

"What do you want me to say? You're right Bea. I'm happy you're happy. I just don't understand why, me not loving someone, has to be a reason that I'm mentally fucked up? I'm okay, I've been hurt a lot so I don't trust people. In fact I'm very happy with someone, and you don't know that because you never have time to talk!" I shout. Her eyes go big and she backs up a few steps.

I've never talked to her this way.

"W-what?" She asks in shock

"I'm in love with Grayson and we're both happy together. Now I'm done talking. That's all I needed to say" i walk inside my room and shut the door.

-

I press the record button and I start playing the melody on the piano and, I start singing.

You could be here, but you're there
You could be anywhere and these days I don't even care no more
You only be showing me love whenever you've had too much
Whatever's been filling your cup, no more

Baby, no more showing up when you're not sober
At my front door just to say you're alone tonight
Yeah, tryna fuck me and my mind up
It's a reminder you're a liar and you know I'm right

You say you can't live without me
So why aren't you dead yet?

I keep singing until I finish the song. I stop recording and go on iMovie to edit the awkward silence of the beginning and end. I then post on Youtube. I've never done this. No one really knows I sing, except, Bea, Grayson, Justin and my mom. The song is by Madison Beer, I think the lyrics are really strong and beautiful so I decided to make a cover off it and put it out there.

Once the video uploads I sigh and turn my phone off. I don't want to be bothered. I go to my bathroom and fill up the bathtub with warm water. I throw in a lush bomb. I tie my hair up in a bun and I put on a face mask.

I just want to relax tonight.

•••

I'm sorry for not uploading a lot. I have summer school so I've been busy asf, but I promise I'm trying my hardest to write when I have free time. I'll probably write a few more chapters today since I have nothing to do😊

Thank you for reading!! & I apologize for the spelling errors😂💀. I'll be going back and editing every chapter🙏🏻

ILY💛