Little Moments in Time - A Phanfiction

Chapter Three

Phil patted the ground next to him, offering the other boy a seat beside him. He had to fight that instinct inside of him that said to get as far away from the other boy as possible. He knew it was ridiculous, but he was awful at drawing comparisons between himself and others, and this boy was giving him that tugging gut feeling of jealousy that he felt every time he met a clearly attractive man. He was always terrified of comparisons being drawn between them and being seen as lesser, but despite that Phil was deep down a reasonable and kind-hearted person, so he shoved these feelings down, and tried to make the obviously uncomfortable boy feel welcomed. 

Much to his surprise, Dan, after a moment of contemplation, gave a small nod of his head and plopped down onto the floor beside Phil. Shooting the brown haired boy a small lopsided smile, he turned back to Tyler who was slamming a bottle down into the middle of the circle, looking around with a mischievous grin. He put down the bottle of vodka, and looked at Dan, raising one eyebrow slightly.

Uh oh. Phil knew that look. To anyone who didn't know Tyler, that look would have gone completely unnoticed, but Phil knew that it was a challenge. He knew Tyler was going to make a clear point of targeting Dan, seeing just how much he could get Dan to admit. It was a sort of initiation Tyler did. He had done it with all the others in this circle the first time he met each of them, respectively. Phil supposed it may be a good thing, because he only did this with people he liked, and saw as potential friends in the future, but in the meantime, he could already tell the boy next to him was nervous, and Phil was going to have to try to help him out. He didn't want to scare this kid off. 

Louise seemed to pick up on this too, as Phil saw her shoot Tyler a look, and then reach out, shimmying a block from the center of the tower. The entire tower teetered for a second, but then settled down. Why had Phil promised Tyler he'd participate today? Jenga was the worst. It didn't seem like it'd result in too much drinking - if you don't chicken out, you only have to drink when the tower falls, right?

The only problem with that was that as the game goes on, people get increasingly inebriated, lose some general coordination, and eventually it seems as if the tower is getting knocked over every time it's touched. Phil was in for one hell of a night. 

Louise took out the black block, and began reading, "Have you ever skinny di..."

"Girl, you know that's not what we're playing!" Tyler objected.

"Aw, come on, my brain is too tired to come up with original questions."

"Hey! My game!" Tyler pointed at her, eyes wide, looking very earnest.

"Okay, okay fine..." Phil looked over and saw Dan seemingly confused, and leaned in close to the boy's ear to whisper,

"Basically the block color just indicates truth or dare. Once you've chosen a block, you have to make your own truth or dare. Tyler doesn't view this version as 'extreme enough'." Dan had flinched back a bit as he felt Phil's breath rustling through his hair, hitting his ear, but nodded gratefully at the explanation. He raised an eyebrow a bit at the word 'extreme', and turned his head to Phil, raising his eyebrows fully now with a small smile tickling his lips. It was mostly a nervous smile, eyes wide, and his look told Phil 'what have I gotten myself into?'. Phil chuckled a bit, shrugged and shook his head, and they both turned back to the center of the circle. 

"Okay.... group question!" Louise announced.

"Hey, that's not the rules!" Alfie protested.

"Well, we're already not playing by the rules, so..." Louise countered, and was met by a conceding shrug from Alfie. "Okay, group question: have you ever been in love?"

Louise looked to her left, indicating that Tyler begin and they continue around the circle clockwise. 

"Hell yeah I have! I fall in love with everyone I'm ever with! It's a real problem actually..." Tyler laughed at himself, turning to Zoe next to him.

"Um...." Phil only noticed now that both Zoe and Alfie were beet red. They had only been dating about three months, and Zoe talked to Phil a good amount about their relationship, so he knew they hadn't said 'the L word' yet. "Yeah.... I think I have..." she said quietly, her gaze not leaving the floor. 

Since Zoe's eyes were on the floor, she couldn't see what the rest of the group did, which was Alfie's huge eyebrows shooting so far up on his head they looked to be trying to unite with his hairline. His look of shock slowly melted into a look of adoration, as he lightly took her chin in his fingers, tilting her head up to look at him.

"To answer your question Louise..." he said softly, not looking away from Zoe for one second. "Yes. I am in love." There was a collective "awwwww" from around the group as Alfie leaned down, kissing Zoe. 

"You guys are disgusting" Tyler threw in as they broke apart, and everyone chuckled a bit, turning to Phil. He sighed.

"No." he said simply. He didn't care to explain. He kept his eyes on his hands which had began fiddling with themselves, knowing that his flatmates all must be looking at him in surprise. They had all thought he had been in love, clearly, as he had only recently ended a near four-year relationship with a girl Emma. They had began dating in high school, and were together all through the start of Senior year of University. He knew that most people wouldn't go a year in a relationship without confessing their love, but they had gone four years.

Well... he hadn't confessed his love. About seven months in, Emma had told him she loved him, and he had balked, turning white as a ghost. She was understanding, and told him he didn't have to feel any pressure to say it back. She had tried several more times throughout the years they were together, but Phil didn't want to lie to her, and he just knew that what he was feeling wasn't love. He enjoyed her company. She was a wonderful person, and he loved her as a friend, he just wasn't IN love with her. 

Nothing about Emma had ever given him that tingling sensation he always heard people talk about. He never felt nervous around her, or felt as if fireworks went off as they kissed. They hadn't even kissed much. I mean, in four years they had obviously had some physical experience with each other, but when compared next to couples like Zoe and Alfie, they probably seemed like brother and sister. Actually, a few times people had thought that they were brother and sister, to which Phil was never all that surprised. 

In the end, Emma ended things with him. He wasn't upset at all, honestly he was surprised it had taken her that long. He knew he didn't feel much romantically towards her, but he didn't want to hurt her feelings, and he thought maybe his feelings would change with time, so he decided to let her be the one to end things. Clearly, four years in, when he hadn't said the smallest thing hinting towards him having serious feelings towards her, she politely told him that she thought it best that they just be friends. 

They were for a few weeks, it didn't feel much different to Phil, but then she decided she was going to try to graduate a semester early, and had been lost to the world in her own little universe of books and papers, trying to finish them all by the end of the term. 

He hadn't actually seen her in about a week and a half, which was strange, as he hadn't gone that long without seeing her in all the time they had been together. They had only broken up a little under a month ago, but he felt like that was a past lifetime. 

Phil could feel the eyes in the room glued on him as everyone froze, shocked by his words. After a few seconds, he sensed Dan shift next to him, as he calmly stated "Me neither." The room seemed to sense the shift, and moved their attention to Dan, which Phil was very grateful for. "Tyler, I think it's your turn." continued Dan, and Phil's answer seemed to have been forgotten. He shot Dan a grateful look, and Dan returned it with a small knowing smile.