Little Things

Chapter 20

Sara's POV:

He's so selfish. How could he just expect me to drop everything and follow him again? It was hard enough when we were just two crazy kids without anything other than each other. It wouldn't be any easier with a baby. As much as I wanted to go, I couldn't. I couldn't take care of Elizabeth by myself for three months either.

He promised me. He promised that there wouldn't be any tours for a while. Maybe a few interviews here and there, but not a three month promotional tour. This is exactly what I didn't want happening.

"Sara?" Harry said from outside the door. I could hear Elizabeth crying.

"What?" I snapped.

"Elizabeth won't stop crying, and, uh, I think she's hungry."

I sighed and got up to open the door. Harry handed me our baby girl and I took her with me to the bed. I sat down and began to breastfeed her.

"I'm sorry," Harry said.

"You've said that," I replied.

"We'll find a way to make it work, baby. We always do," he offered.

"You don't get it," I said, shaking my head.

"Then help me understand, Sara," he pleaded. "Because right now I don't get why this is such a big bad thing to you."

"It was hard enough following you all over the world when I was 18. I followed you until I was 20. We didn't have anything but each other. Or at least I didn't have anything but you. I had so much going on in my life at that point but I chose to go to your concerts instead of AA or therapy. And do you think it will honestly be any easier following you with a baby?"

"No," Harry admitted. "I never said it would be easy."

"I've always chosen you," I continued. "I think it's time that I chose myself, and Elizabeth."

"I never knew that you were skipping meetings or therapy."

"I wanted to support you."

Elizabeth finished eating and I put a towel over my shoulder to burp her.

"I'm still going on the tour. But I'm coming home every chance I get," Harry vowed.

I nodded, not believing him. Tours were always crazy for him and he rarely had any time off.

"I love you Sara. I wish I didn't have to go," he said.

"I love you too," I answered.

"I'll put Elizabeth to sleep if you want to get some rest?"

I nodded and gave Elizabeth a kiss on the head.

"Goodnight my love. Mommy loves you so much," I whispered.

Harry took her out of the room and came back a few minutes later. He sat down next to me on the bed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I turned around and saw tears in his green eyes. I was angry with him, but seeing him cry always upset me.

"Harry don't cry," I said, wrapping my small arms around his large frame.

"I can't do anything right, Sara. I break promises constantly, and I'm so sorry."

I could feel my heart breaking as I saw him break down. He couldn't help his tour schedule. Sure, I was heartbroken that he had to leave, but that didn't mean he couldn't do anything right. He loved his job, and I loved how much he loved it.

"Babe, you do so much good in this world. You bring joy to millions when you perform. You love our baby girl. Your family absolutely adores you," I said.

"But I can't keep my promises to you," he cried.

"You've done so much for me Harry. You've got no idea. A few broken promises pale in comparison."

"What have I ever done for you?" Harry asked.

"You saved me," I replied. "If I hadn't bumped into you that night at that bar, and if you hadn't pushed me into rehab, AA and therapy for all of my addictions, I wouldn't be here. Period. You saved me in a literal sense. And I'm honestly terrified that if you leave, I'll relapse. Again."

We locked eyes before Harry pulled me in for a kiss. The kiss was filled with so much longing and love. It expressed everything we couldn't tell each other.

Harry really had saved me. I still remembered the day that he had me admitted to a rehab center. I'd been addicted to prescription drugs since I was 16, and on top of that I smoked weed constantly and was an alcoholic. I also struggled with depression and anxiety.

Harry had found me unconscious on the floor of my bathroom at my apartment after an accidental overdose and had called an ambulance. I was out of the ER after a few days and once I was out, Harry picked me up and took me to rehab.

"Where are we?" I'd asked.

Harry took a deep breath before saying, "We're at a rehab center."

"Why?" I asked.

"You need help Sara. You almost died, and I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. So I'm having you admitted."

I was angry at that point. "You're doing what? You can't do this! You aren't my family, and I'm 19! I can sign myself out whenever."

"I called your parents. They signed everything."

"I'm not going in there! I took one too many aspirin, so what? It's not a big deal."

"What about your drinking habits? Or all the weed? Or your wrists? Don't think I don't notice these things. I'm not stupid, Sara," Harry said, calling me out completely.

I was caught. And I knew it. After spending 20 minutes in the car yelling at Harry about how he had no right to do this, I eventually got out and went inside. Saying goodbye to Harry was probably the hardest part. I had no idea how long I was going to be gone. And I know it couldn't have been easy for him to have to do this to me.

Harry made me promise not to check myself out early, and I spent six months in rehab. The media never knew about it, which was good for Harry and for me. After I was discharged, Harry drove me to every AA meeting and every therapy session. My wellbeing became his top priority, and I could never thank him enough.

He stayed by my side through a relapse and more treatment. I know that I wouldn't have been able to do it without him, mostly because he drove me everywhere. I guess he did that to make sure that I was going to the meetings and to therapy. But he'd really, truly saved me, and I'll never forget it.

A/N:

Okay so this chapter was more serious than the past ones have been. I just wanted to show who Sara is, I guess, and why she's so upset about Harry leaving.

Please vote! Thanks for reading this!