headache / jasper hale

26 | dear dawson

It was a scream that woke Sam up every night. A blood curling, murderous scream that never failed to send Sam running up the stairs and into his - basically - little sister's room.

But sometimes it was Embry who was woken up by the scream had send pain and hatred through his entire body. He'd do the same after hearing the screams - frantically running up the stairs to reach his imprint as fast as possible.

Paul and Jared shared the same experiences as their pack brothers - though it didn't hurt them as much as it hurt Sam and Embry.

But, it was the worst for Thea. Her life became a nightmare that should couldn't escape by just waking up. She woke up, hoping that it was all just a dream but her hopes soon were crushed when she realized it was all too real.

Jasper left her - high and dry - and was never coming back.

•••

One night, the pain became too much for Thea. So when she woke up, she couldn't help herself. Everything that Jasper had touched, she wanted it gone.

Thea woke up, not screaming but crying. She saw Jasper everywhere in her room and she couldn't take it anymore. She got up, opened her window, and got to work.

She ripped down the pictures on her walls, the ones that Jasper had always commented on during their relationship. She tore them to shreds - well as best as she could with one casted arm - and threw them out the window.

Thea next moved on to her desk - the desk chair to be exact. Jasper had sat in that chair, too many times for Thea to remember, and talked with her. It had to go too.

So she picked it up and, like the photo, shoved it out of the window. It smashed on the ground with a loud thud - waking Embry and Sam who were asleep in the living room.

Next, Thea began tearing her blankets and sheets off of her bed. The scent of Jasper still lingered, no matter how many times Thea sprayed perfume on them. She was following suit with the articles in her hand when Embry and Sam appeared in her doorway.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sam asked, rushing over to the crying girl's side. He tried to take the blankets from her, but she staggered back before he could get any closer.

"No! Jasper, don't touch me!" She screamed, moving over to the window and throwing the blankets out.

Sam and Embry stood dumbfounded - what did Thea just call Sam?

"Thea," Embry placed a hand on Sam's forearm, pulling him back. "Whatcha doing?"

Thea whipped around, her eyes wild as tears flooded her cheeks. The two shapeshifters hadn't seen Thea like this - completely beyond reason.

"He's in the room and he needs to get out!" She cried, shoving things off of her nightstand. "He's everywhere in this stupid fucking place!"

Embry couldn't take seeing her like this anymore - he approached her and held her, letting the girl thrash in his arms and scream. It was hours before she calmed down and her breathing soon turned shallow as she fell back into a nightmare filled sleep.

"Sam, this place isn't good for her anymore." The concerned wolf said to his alpha, who nodded in agreement.

"I'll see what I can find."

That was the last night that the pack spent at the house in Forks.

•••

Thea liked her new room in her new house. It was on the Reservation, secluded from all human life. The beach was right outside her back door - she could smell the salt water whenever she opened her window.

The change in scenery helped Thea - but her heart still ached. The pain that consumed her entire being was still very much present but Thea was better off than Bella was.

Bella and Thea became closer, the other understanding how they felt. For they went through the same thing - heartbreak. They usually hung out when school wasn't in session but when it was, Thea was with Embry.

Thea - since switching to cyber school - had too much time on her hands. At first, the time was spent alone. But their departure became old news, Embry and Thea began to hang out everyday - almost constantly.

Currently, Thea and Embry are lounging on the porch. Thea's head is resting in the wolf's lap while they listen to music - calming music that the doctor said should help Thea.

"Has Dawson gotten back to you?" Embry asked out of the blue - curious to know if the man had gotten back to his once best friend.

"No," Thea said, sighing. "I've sent him fifty-two emails and he has yet to reply to any of them."

"Are they even delivering?" Embry asks, running his fingers through Thea's newly dyed hair. It was he that convinced the girl to do it - changing her light brown hair to a darker chocolate brown, similar to Bella's.

Embry's reasoning was that, even though Thea always looked beautiful, change helped the heart heal. So Thea did it, with the help of Paul and Embry.

"Yeah - he's reading them too," Thea replied. Her voice was quiet and sad - Embry instantly knew he shouldn't have asked.

Thea sat up, shaking her head to shake away the thoughts of them. She couldn't say their names anymore - it brought her too much pain. She pushed herself up off the floor, brushing off the dirt that littered on the wood.

"I'm going to bed," she said quietly before rushing into the house - she had another email to write.

Thea sat down at her new desk, running her fingers along the cold wood. She flipped her laptop screen up, opened up her email, and began to type.

Dear Dawson,

I know you see these and I know that you read them. I don't know why you can't reply to me - maybe it's him. Maybe he doesn't let you. After all, he doesn't want anything to do with me. Or maybe you've grown sick of me too. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me because I hate me too.

I still wake up in a panic every night, but the screaming has stopped. The screaming helped wake me up but now I can't wake up, not until the nightmare is over. But it's never over. I think of him constantly, Dawson, even if it rips my heart out every time. I can't stop myself. I still love him.

My therapist says writing will help release the pain but the more emails I write you, the more pain I feel. I don't know why I bother anymore, you'll never reply to me. But you read them. You read every single one of the fifty-two I've already sent. Maybe it's because you feel guilty and don't want the burden on your chest of my death. Maybe it's because you hate me and want to laugh at me. And that's okay, because I laugh at me too.

Why wasn't I enough for him? Is it because I'm human? If it means anything at all to him anymore, I don't feel like a human anymore. Just a thing of nothingness that walks around the house all day. There's nothing inside of me anymore. No life or happiness. When he left, when you all left, you took that with you. You took me with you.

Thea.