She Is My Sanity (Futanari) •

Empty

Blair's P.O.V
3 months later

It was like in slow motion, the punch through my left cheek turning my face to the right harshly and the burning pain quickly taking over that I'm beginning to crave.

I craved it because I felt like I couldn't crave anything but pain. I'm empty and like a cracy lunatic as they kicked me, punched me, I laughed, I smiled through it closing my eyes and just enduring the pain. And after 10 minutes of relentlessly beating, it stopped, "That will fucking teach you, you crazy bitch" the boy said and his gang walked off.

I laid there, on the cold concrete and looked up at the dark sky which has stars scattered everywhere. It's beautiful. I gulp hating myself for how I've become but I knew I couldn't do anything..no..not else I see her. Stop it, don't think about her, stop, stop I say inside my head but I shook my head and winced at the pain but spoke out loud to no one..

"Just once..give me something..just one memory" I sounded desperate but I needed it, right now at this state.. So closing my eyes again and feeling little droplets of rain falling from the dark night sky, a memory broke through my empty cold heart..

"Say you love me" Janey whispered after we finished making love and we were facing each other on the bed, staring lovingly into each other's eyes. Her brunette hair falls right onto her face to make her seem like a million dollar model and her blue eyes staring at me. Only me.

My hand on her naked waist, softly caressing the skin there and her hands on my cheeks just as she said that and I sighed in love with the beauty I'm looking at. "I love you, I love you so much baby. I'm always going to be here ready for your warmth in my arms" I spoke softly and I saw her blush and bit her lip shyly and I chuckled, moving closer and softly eskimo kissed her and she ran her hands through my hair igniting warmth, love, gentleness through me.

"If god gave us a choice to become anything we wanted in the next life and I chose to be a dog..would you be dog? With me?" She then added while looking at me with those doe blue eyes and I internally swooned.."If you're a dog, then I'm a dog" I said lovingly and she let out her beautiful giggles that makes my heart beat a billion times more. "You're so cheesy" she then giggled and softly kissed my cheek and I laughed, bringing her closer and whispering in her ear "Only for you my beautiful girl".

And just like that I opened my eyes. Feeling a bit of warmth enter my cold heart and I swallowed.. I couldn't let out a tear, now matter how much I felt like I wanted to, it just couldn't come out. After a few minutes of me laying spread out on the concrete and bloody, the warmth slowly died in my heart and the memory is locked up again.

I sighed and slowly got up, I couldn't let out a groan of any sort, no because I liked the pain. I stood up and limped back to the dorm, praying Grace wasn't in. It's been 3 months since I've been in London. London is beautiful, But seeing as I'm in this state, I don't have a chance to see the real beauty of it.

I've gotten into a good university that offers all the courses I want to take and such so that's good. I didn't really do anything then go to class and go back to the dorm when it's finished and of course ate.

I didn't go out with my fellow peers to parties or such, no I go back to my dorm and just lay on my bed, staring at the plain white ceiling. A part of me wants to enjoy life here in London and acknowledge to myself that it's okay to think about her and the rest of my family but the bigger part of me forced myself to not care and eventually I became who I am right now, an empty cold hearted person.