Chapter 8

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Silas's POV

"The child... It... Didn't survive."

I froze, my excitement falling, and my dreams shattering. "W-what do you mean?" I asked quietly. The doctor sighed once more. "By my calculations, Lewis had already been mistreated and undernourished, so the child wouldn't have survived long anyway without the proper supervision. We would have had to monitor his activity and his food intake until it was at an acceptable level.

"In fact, because of this, I presume that the child hadn't even lasted past the first month in the cold." My body seemed numb as I stared, listening to the doctor's words. It... Hadn't even lived past the first month? It's because he'd been so underfed. It's my fault. I killed my child. I looked at Lewis. I killed our child.

"I had to remove the dead fetus from the womb, and discovered an infection inside. Because the fetus was dead for so long, yet remained inside of Lewis's womb, the womb itself has become damaged. Lewis is a male, so a womb transplant won't work. That means there is no chance he'll carry again. We don't have a donor, and male wombs are hard to come by."

Once more, my chest tightened. There's not even a way for me to try to fix it. No, I wouldn't have been able to fox it anyway. I could have another kid, but that wouldn't change the fact that I'd killed my first. And to think I'd been so excited about a family, even with Lewis. Actually, having it with Lewis made it a so much better. So much more realistic, and perfect.

The doctor had gone silent, writing on his clipboard. "Is there anything else? I'd like to be alone with Lewis." The doctor's eyes widened. "Alpha - Silas - there's something else you should know." I groaned. Great. More bad news.

"Because a mother always had a connection with her child, unborn or not, Lewis suffered a lot of trauma going through this. And you, being the cause, are the main thing he'd like to avoid." I paled, the blood draining from my face. "What does that mean?"

"It means that when he wakes up, you cannot be here. You'll trigger his fears, and he might hurt himself or those around him."

"But, I'm his mate!" Not anymore, remember? I swallowed. "For how long do I have to avoid him?"

"We'll watch him for the next week. If his condition improves, we'll slowly ease him into being around you. But if it doesn't... We'll have to keep him from you."

I nodded. I suppose this is retribution. Ha. This is only the start. Wait until you hear what else happened. My wolf's words destroyed me even more. There's something else?! What else could I have possibly done?! I've already ruined his life completely.

The doctor went though his list, mumbling quietly. Then, his head shot back to me. "I almost forgot! There's something else. When you rejected Lewis, his wolf couldn't take it. He... No longer has a wolf." And there it was. I am officially the worst, biggest jerk who has ever lived.

I couldn't imagine life without my wolf, and I had taken Lewis's from him! He's already gone through so much because of me, and his small stature made survival so much harder. If there was anytime he needed a wolf, it was now.

I came out of the room to see Scott looking at his hands. "Hey," I said.

"... Hey."

I sighed, slumping down next to him. "What have I done? I could have been his mate, been there for him, and I wasn't."

"It wasn't just you," Scott said. "I... I could have stopped you. Anyone in the pack could have. But they let you continue to treat him that way. I continued to let you treat him that way. We were all jerks."

"Yeah but, it was my decision in the first place. If I hadn't wanted to do it, you wouldn't have needed to stop me."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Well, I'm going to try and make it up to him. I'm going to be the best mate I can be. Even of it means having to break into the hospital room against the doctor's orders." Scott hesitated. "I don't know. The doctor was pretty serious about Lewis's condition." I shrugged. "I'm his mate. How bad could it be?"

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