Intent 2: Fight or Flight [Wattys 2017] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 34

Meet Me in the Hallway - Harry Styles

Emma

"Harry?"

I don't want to push him but it's been awhile since Harry has said anything. It's like he's in a trance just staring back at me, squeezing my hands, and processing what I just admitted to him.

"Harry I'm so sorry. I never meant for... it's not like I went out looking for..."

Those where the last words spoken and now nothing.

Shouldn't be he saying things? Reacting... well I guess this is a reaction, just not what I expected.

Shouldn't he be yelling?

Shouldn't he be taking every precaution to get himself away from me?

Hell, shouldn't there be a Harry shaped hole in the wall as a result of him getting the fuck out of here? After all, I just told him I slept with someone else but I am met with utter silence.

I'm totally thrown.

I can tell the cogs are turning in his brain but I expected a reaction. Harry has been so sensitive this whole trip, so open and honest, but now...

"Harry did you hear me?" The words only come out as a whisper but I don't know what else to do.

Do I say it again?

Wait for him to yell and scream? Is he going to storm out or...

The very thought of Harry not being here brings a new round of quiet tears to my eyes as I begin to shake again.

I'm a quivering mess rooted right where our hands are still clinging to each other in his lap. I can't stop staring at our tangled fingers. It's as if they have some magic power, a force that will somehow keep us together no matter what Harry's reaction is, as long as he's holding my hands we have a chance of being alright.

I don't want to let go. I don't want him to go anywhere. I don't want to go on and explain but I know we can't stop this from happening. This is happening, it's time for everything to be out in the open once and for all.

It's scaring the shit out of me.

Being this vulnerable isn't something I particularly like but then again, who would like this situation? Harry was assaulted by his psycho bitch of an ex-girlfriend on the same night I was on an airplane sandwiched between an bathroom wall and Sam's broad lustful body.

Good job Emma.

I hate that I've done this and if Harry gets up right now, screams at me, and then leaves, I'll deserve it but it's the last thing I want, of course it is.

When I look up at him I see my whole world. It took me so long to get to this point and I hate that it took me so long and something like revealing this secret to push me over the edge. It's my turn to fight for him, for us.

He's not leaving. I can't let that happen. I can't let him go.

I know what it is to miss Harry all to well.

As a little girl, when Harry and his family left, I knew I was losing someone special. He was more than my best friend, he was my lifeline, the person I clung to when the world was gloomy and dark.

But nothing that I felt and went through growing up compares with the last two weeks. The mind numbing pain, the soul crushing guilt, the deep sense of loss. It was terrible and I physically cannot go through it again.

Harry please don't go.

At my unspoken words, at least I think they are unspoken, Harry's eyes focus back on mine.