Intent 2: Fight or Flight [Wattys 2017] (ON HOLD)

Chapter 57

Harry

Finally the door opens.

It's Emma.

I don't want to admit that I've been sat here biding my time until she gets home but I have, for at least an hour.

Maybe that makes me a lost puppy desperately in love with my girlfriend but that's what I am... desperately in love, not a lost puppy, although if Emma asked me to I would turn into one just for her.

The whole of my day was pretty easy. Had to finish a few school things here and there, spoke to Louis for a bit then my mum. I wanted to plant the idea of Em and I visiting and thankfully she was very enthusiastic. Don't know why I thought I'd get anything different from her, guess I was just nervous.

For Emma's sake, not of my mum.

Waking up alone this morning didn't help with the nerves either.

I vaguely remember her kissing my lips before she left but that might have been a dream, I'm constantly dreaming of her.

When I finally woke up fully I just had a text saying that she had an early meeting or something. I don't really know honestly, when I realized she wasn't here I knew that whatever reason she gave me via text wasn't the truth because I know what is.

Em is worried.

Everything has been thrown at her. Sam. Jessica. Even me.

The funny thing is is that I want to let it all go, release the burdens of that night and move on once and for all.

But I just can't.

What happens whenever I try to muster up the courage keeps me from speaking the words. Truth is is that everytime I even think about even uttering those words to her my body starts to react. It's like my skin begins to fizzle right there on my bones and I just can't do it.

I can't let go of it.

But I know I have to just like I forced her to a few weeks ago.

Is this what Emma felt?

Was she clinging on to what happened like this?

I know it's a completely different situation but that same longing, that same possessiveness of what happened I completely get. It's like I know Em on a whole new level, understand what she went through.

With Emma I pushed her but she isn't doing the same with me. Of course with Emma she had written everything down in a journal so pushing her was a bit different knowing what she was about to say.

Maybe I should do that and simply hand it over. Sure it's the cowards root, not that Emma is coward because she didn't write it for me to read, I just happened upon it, but it could get everything out in the open.

I just want to get past this.

In my head that means forgetting about it and moving on but if I have learned anything from what Emma went through it's that I know I can't do that.

But for now I'm going to try. I'm going to try and push it to the side and completely forget that it even happened because right now my girl is standing at the door.

I jump up and walk over to her enveloping Em in a hug which she reciprocates.

But why does it feel weird?

It doesn't, you're being silly.

When she pulls back I can see that little glint in her eyes. She's up to something, stuck in her head, all those ideas pushing to get out, and I bet you I already know what it is.