n i n e t e e n

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a/n 

so sorry for disappearing again, but school's just started and the teachers are just piling up homework for me to do. hope you enjoy this chapter even though it's a bit short. i'll update this weekend i promise. <3


[Hermione's POV]

Regret.

It was the only thing Hermione could feel. How could she have fallen for such a stupid, stupid threat like that? She was supposed to be the brightest witch of her generation. And now she felt like the dumbest. Parkinson had gotten her way and she had just lost the person she had loved the most.

Maybe it was still fixable. Maybe they could still be together. Maybe.

Hermione wiped the tears from her cheek with her palm and apparated back to Hogsmeade.

The street was empty and the all the shops had closed up. Well, except for an empty bar and certain boy who seemed to be drinking more than he can handle. Hermione groaned as she watched Draco knock back shot after shot. His hair was an absolute mess, his shirt had become untucked and on a pretty cool night, his back was drenched in sweat. She wanted to go up to him so badly, to fix what broke between them. Part of her tells her to just march right in there and set things straight but the other half, just tells her that if she does walk in there, she'll end up breaking his heart even more.

Hesitantly, Hermione approached the boy and sat on the stool next to him. For a moment he seemed to not have noticed and for a moment Hermione thought that he might've drunken the horrible moment from his memory. But when he turned around with bloodshot eyes, she knew she was wrong. Dead wrong. 

"What do you want?" he slurred as he drank down another shot, refusing to look directly at her.

"Draco, please listen to me. What I did was wrong - Merlin it was so wrong and I don't even know how to explain it in a way that'll make you understand but I did it to protect you."

"Please," he scoffed and beckoned for a refill.

"No," she waved the bartender away, "Just let me explain. That night when you fell asleep in the Head's dorm finishing off your essay, Pansy snuck up there during the night and she was still there in the morning when I came to wake you up. She was standing there right behind you with her wand at your neck and I knew that I couldn't duel her without risk hurting you.

"So she made me agree to her stupid, stupid threat and she'll never hurt you again. She said that I had to leave you and that I had to break your heart while doing so. I'll admit it, I was scared. I was scared that she won't stop and that she'll find ways to hurt us again so I did what she had asked. And I realised now that it was probably an empty threat and I know that I can never take back what I said and-"

"Stop, just stop." Draco heaved himself off his stool and shook his head at her, "I put my heart out like that and you just snatched it away, ripped it, tore it to pieces. It's unfixable. Nothing you say or do can fix that."

"I was doing it to protect you!" She was sobbing now, chocking on her own words.

"Protecting me? Is that really what you thought you were doing? Don't lie to me. If didn't know better then I'd say it's just a game for you to get back at me for all those years I've bullied you.  I mean come on, Granger. I'm not as bright as you but I'll never be stupid enough to believe that."


Granger.


That one small change in pronouns was enough to knock the wind out of her. Sure it was her last name and she had nothing to be ashamed of but when he said it, it was like erasing all they've been through this past year. It was taking them back to the very beginning. 

Hermione cursed under her breath, she wanted to turn back time. Stop herself from saying those things to him. She just wanted to forget, to forget everything for a while. Forget all her problems, to forget the ache in her heart or the deepening pit in her stomach.

 "Three shots of the strongest stuff you've got." She said the bartender.

He poured her a shot of a dark orangey liquid, the smelled burned her nostril and it made her feel like her throat was on fire when she drank it and she almost wanted to spit it out but at the same time, it made her feel like she was in a dream like state. 

She drank another shot and then the last. Maybe a couple more and she would've forgotten why she was even upset in the first place. 

She glanced at the clock, they were about an hour past curfew. 

Hermione decided to head back to Hogwarts, hugging her arms around herself. They were about to finish school in about a month's time and everything was going to plan until she'd completely messed it up. They were going to graduate together and then maybe they'll go live together, in the wizarding world or the muggle world. They would've shared an apartment and they were supposed to be happy. 

The large doors swung open and she was face to face with none other than Professor Mcgonagall. "Miss Granger. More than an hour has past since curfew and look at you - you look like an absolute mess and Miss Granger have you been drinking?"

Hermione wanted to object to everything she had just said but what's the point? She had lost it all so losing a little more couldn't hurt that much. "Professor, have you ever felt like you've done something for the right reasons but when you do it you realise that you've made it worse."

Professor Mcgonagall had always been like a second mother to her alongside Mrs Weasley, the anger in her eyes that was there before had been replaced with a look of worry. The elderly lady reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, "I know how you two felt for each other but Draco Malfoy was never a good choice."

"No, he wasn't. We weren't alike in any way, we've hated each other since first year but everytime I'm around him, I just feel different. And it felt perfect, everything was perfect until I ruined it. Professor, I ruined everything."

Professor Mcgonagall put an arm around her shoulder and lead her back to the Gryffindor common room, "I am no expert on this sort of thing but if you believe that it's meant to be then it most likely is. After all, Miss Granger, you are the brightest of your generation, are you not? Get some sleep Miss Granger, I'm sure all will work out in time."

Hermione climbed into her four poster bed, trying to wish her mind to shut off. Maybe all work out with time. Maybe they could work things out. Maybe. 

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