In Love With a Monster (Johan Liebert x reader)

Chapter 9

How this man can make me feel this way?

His every word makes me feel better...

Once my journey is over...could we be something more? Does he like me that way? Does he have a girlfriend?

"You look very lovely today, _______." Johan spoke with gentleness in his voice, his hands behind his back as he was elegantly walking towards the library beside you.

"Thank you. You too." a small panic started raising inside you as you had blurted that out without thinking "I mean not lovely! It's not that you aren't lovely! I m-meant to say handsome! Uh...you know what I mean...right?"

Sometimes I really am an idiot...

He let out a small chuckle which, in your opinion, sounded so melodic that could light up the whole world "Of course."

What is this feeling inside my chest?

Even though it was September, it was still very warm so you had decided to wear short white dress with sleeves which looked very stylish and neat on your figure. As for the shoes, you had put on white flats  which matched your dress.

You looked up to the sky, enjoying in the small wind and various figures which were made of the clouds. You adjusted the strap of your bag in which you held some stuff (and dissertation which you had put before you headed to the library).

"Tomorrow is going to be a good day."

You slightly bit your button lip, your mind racing, desperately trying to find the forgotten memories in your mind. Just who had said that? And why the owner's voice sounded so familiar yet so distanced and foreign? Just why-

And then...

Your eyes widened as your legs lost their previous balance. Closing your eyes as if that would lessen the coming pain, you silently cursed yourself for stumbling upon a fallen branch on the ground.

But the pain never arrived and you found yourself still half-balanced on your legs as your body were leaning on something rather soft and comfortable. Surprised, you slowly opened your eyes and found yourself in Johan's arms. His left hand was delicately holding your right ones, as if they were made for each other. His right hand was firmly supporting your back, his fingers gently resting on your waist. His blue eyes were slightly widened but the serenity in them was still there as a barely visible gasp between your faces was mocking the two of you.

Few millimetres closer and you could-

"You should be more careful, my dear." Johan spoke which sounded as a genuine concern as he let go of you and made a step back. Feeling a little dizzy from sudden closeness, you barely nodded with a small flush on your cheeks. "You seemed to be deep in your thoughts. Does something bother you?"

"Just thinking about everything..."

"Is it about your past?"

"Yeah...I just realized that what I am searching for is like chasing a ghost. I gave the necklace to the police and explained what I want but they said that they had more important things to do. I somehow managed to convince one of the young police officers to call me as soon as the results are in but who knows when that would be. And I am constantly being remind of something...every now and then I get a small flashback of voices from my past. It calls me a mistake...and I would get this sudden feeling of....sadness...As if I am unwanted. But then...another voice... That voice is just so full of hope and I want to catch that forgotten voice and unleash my memories, find who I am but I just...feel so helpless. And sometimes in my dreams I would see-"

"The end." he finished instead of you and stopped walking.

"Yes...Over and over..."

"That must be sad."

A deep sigh left your mouth as you pushed all the negative feelings and thoughts deep inside of you. This wasn't the time to think of that. You didn't want to be negative. "It is but..." you slightly smiled "I should be fine as long as I have hope, right? The end could just be the new beginning. The beginning of something better. Something new and unfamiliar, terrifying yet intriguing. I was always afraid of getting close to anyone but then..." you stood in front of Johan, placed your hands behind your back and smiled more "I chose to break my rules and try something new. That's when I met you and I don't regret it one bit."

No one's P.O.V.

Johan's lips slightly parted, a sudden feeling of uncertainness wriggled inside him. Unfamiliar thoughts crossed his mind making him feel ambivalent about the girl in front of him. Why...what does she have...how could possibly one human being do this to him...to a monster? How could she be so similar yet so different from him after seeing the end? And why did she make him feel like an innocent child placed in front of something macabre with just being close to him?

His facial expression didn't change but for the first time in his whole life...he offered a genuine smile to _______ Tenma.

Maybe both of them were playing danse macabre after all.