Off Camera

behind closed doors

-Authors note- 

i dont own the media featured above, all rights go to the owner, just a vid i found on youtube used to set the mood. anyway, enjoy!!!

i scrolled through the comments on my latest video, trying my best not cry more tears. nearly every single one said the same thing; "wheres Liza, bring Liza back into the outro's, we miss Liza, are you guys a thing?" my heart ached at the drop of her name. how had i been so stupid for letting Gabbie control my life. she was the one who made me stop seeing Liza, for breaking her heart and for breaking mine as well. some friend she is. 

it has been a week since i told Liza to go and i have regretted it every minute. i am so tempted to just pick up my phone and text her or call her but i know that she will never answer. she probably hates me and i dont blame her. a text came through my phone, i honestly was hoping to god that it was going to be her but sadly it was only Gabbie, great who else was she going to stop me from seeing, Alex, Zane, Heath. i rolled my eyes and read the text.  

"hey, we need to talk, come over?" as much as i didnt want to go and see her, i was intrigued as to what she wanted to talk to me about. so i agreed. 

i hesitated before i knocked on her apartment door. in the back of my mind i was hoping that she wouldnt answer it but sure enough she did. it looked like she had been crying. why the hell was she upset for? she wasn't the one who had to break the heart of a certain little brown girl, of whom i love and will now never love me. 

"what did you want to talk to me about?" i asked her with no emotion what so ever, because to be honest, i didnt care. i just wanted Liza back in my life. she led me inside and sat down on her couch. she could probably tell that i was not happy with her. 

"it's about Liza" just hearing her name made me even sadder. i didnt want to hear what she had to say. i was just about to hop off form the bed and walk out the door when she started crying again and tried to stop me. 

"david, please just hear me out ok? please just sit down." i did as she said. "after that night, i couldn't stop thinking about how stupid and jealous i had been. the truth is i was feeling left out and missed being able to hang out with my two best friends. jealousy set in and i acted out, breaking up no only friendships but a budding relationship. david look i'm really sorry ok, and i know that it wont turn back time or change anything but i called Liza earlier and apologized." 

"what did she say?" 

"that she could understand why i did it but she didn't want to see or hear from you and I in a while, and that she was really hurt, more so from you. David, i dont know if you can ever forgive me for what i did same goes with Liza, but i do know that if you try hard enough you can fix things with her." my head shot up from looking down at the ground. Gabbie did mess up bad but she was clearly trying to fix it, and although it will take me some time to forgive her, she gave me the push that i needed to gto and try to fix things with the little brown girl that i was so madly in love with. i jumped up and gave Gabbie a hug. 

"Thankyou Gab's" she nodded at me with a sad smile. 

"now go get your little milk chocolate girl back." i shot out from Gabbie's apartment faster than a bullet being fired from a gun and hoped into my car, making my way over to Liza's apartment as fast as i could. i had never been so relieved as i was the moment that i pulled up to Liza's place.

"come on David, just knock on the door, she will hear you out, you know she will, come on, man up god damnit!" talking to myself wasnt helping. finally i knocked on the white door that separated her and i from sight. i held my breath in anticipation waiting for her to open it and finally she did. 

the minute her eyes caught mine, she tried to close the door back up again but i intervened. "Liza please, wait, just hear me out please." she rolled her eyes. she looked so run down and tired. and to think that i had done this to her. 

"Gabbie already explained enough but clearly she did not include the part where i told her that i didnt want to see either of you, now please leave, you are the last person that i want to see right now." i wasnt going to let her go again for the second time so i stood my ground and argued my point. 

"Liza, please, Gabbie explained her side but please hear mine out, loo i never wanted to do what i did to you, but Gabbie, she.." 

"yeah i know, Gabbie made you do it!" she sounded so broken. i was trying so hard not to cry, i just had to hold my tears in. 

"no Liza, well yes she did but thats not what im trying to, im trying to say that i did it to protect you. look i dont know how much Gabbie has or hasn't told you but it wasnt the full story. Gabbie was upset that i was ditching her and using all of my time with you, so Gabbie asked me to spend a bit more time with her instead, so i agreed but then she saw a comment on one of my videos saying that someone likes you better than they like Gabbie. she got mad and lashed out and told me that if i dont stop seeing you then she is going to cause trouble for you, not me, you. i dont know what she would have done or if she would have done anything, it was probably just a threat but i knew that i had to protect you from getting hurt so i thought that if i listened then she would back off but i ended up hurting you more than what she hurt you and im sorry Liza, ok im sorry. i dont care if i have to stay out here for a week, but i will if it means that you will consider forgiving me or at least have a conversation with me, i will even give up vlogging, i dont care what it takes but please Liza, you have to believe me." 

she just stood still, looking so distant, until the tears started to fall down her face. i knew what i had to do. i stepped closer towards her and pulled her into my chest. she wrapped her arms around me like it was so natural. i just held her head and listened to her soft sobs, rubbing her back trying to calm her down, then without even giving it any thought i kissed her head. she jerked her head up as if to make sure that i really did kiss her head. tears were still falling on her toned face so i used my thumb to brush them away and held her face in my hands, staring into her beautiful brown eyes. 

her sobbing had stopped and her breathing had slowed down then before i knew it she kissed me, our lips creating sparks as they met, our tongues finding each other along the way. we continued to kiss as if glued to each other as she pulled me into her apartment. i kicked it shut behind us as she led me to the couch. i pulled away wanting to clear something up, not wanting it to seem like i was taking advantage of her because that was never my intention. she looked worried as if she had done something wrong. 

"does this mean that i'm forgiven." i held her hands waiting for a response. she nodded her head as she responded. "i want to say yes but David, you really hurt me so bad" i felt my heartbreaking all over again. then an idea came to mind which will take away all of her hurt. i shot up from the couch. 

"ill be right back ok?" before she could respond, i sprinted from her apartment to my car, reaching into the glovebox and pulling out a black box, then running it back up to her apartment, still finding her in the same position as when i had left. i sat back down and gave her the box. 

"whats this?" she looked scared. "just open it and you'll find out." so she did. inside the box was my rocks that i had collected from the party the first time that i met her. she looked confused. 

"David i dont understand." 

"i know that you have your own pile of rocks from the night but i want you to keep mine as well, and then when your ready give them back to me. Liza, i dont know what it felt like with what i had put you through but i know that if it was me in your position i wouldn't forgive me either." 

"David, this is really sweet, thankyou. can we maybe just take things slow and then see what progresses form there, no labels either until we are both ready." i couldnt help but smile at her last comment. she smiled as soon as i did. 

"i think that is the best plan i have ever heard. you must be tired so ill leave you alone, but call me if you need anything ok." just as i was about to get up Liza stopped me. 

"David, do you think that maybe you could just stay with me tonight, and hold me until i fall asleep?" 

"of course i can." i took her hand and lead her to her bed where we both go into, (not sexually, ya little nasties!!!) and i cuddled her until she was asleep, then i slipped out and went home. Gabbie was right about one thing, that i was madly in love with a little brown girl called Liza.