Off Camera

So I Pulled the Panic Cord

*one week later* 

"ugh,  I can't believe that she made our break up facebook official" Scott looked up from his laptop and shot me an irritated look. 

"dude, you never called her or even tried to make up for what you said to her, so dont go blaming Liza for feeling the need to make your break up official." 

"who's side are you on man?" i ask getting irritated myself

"Dave do you even need to ask me that? Liza is one of Kristen's best friends and the last time i checked, you were the one who screwed things up and treated her like shit, not to mention said really horrible things that you can never take back."  

"whatever, im out of here" i grab my phone and my laptop and continue to leave scott's home.

"that's it crack a tantrum and walk away just like you did with Liza" scott says before i leave. maybe i was wrong for not texting or calling her but i always thought that she would be the one to call first or even come and see me, but seeing her announce our break up to the world really hit home for me. 

i drove myself back to my apartment and slammed my bedroom door shut as i entered. i still had some of Liza's clothes laying around and photos and gifts buried around my room. well since we were officially finished i guess i should return all of the things to her. but am i ready to face her. i finally grew a pear and packed up all of her things into the same cardboard box that she had put all of my stuff in and i drove over to her place. 

this was it, i said to myself as i stood at her door, my hand knocking so slowly on it, and my heart racing until she opens it. finally she does. her face drops the minute she sees me. 

"wow don't be too happy to see me" i said sarcastically and to be honest in a bitchy tone. i dont even know why i was acting this way to her but i felt mad about her changing her status. 

"what do you want David?" she asked rolling her eyes and showing me no emotion except hurt and displeasure. 

"i just came to drop all of your stuff off, here" i handed her the box of her things. she looked down at the box of her things for a second before looking back up at me with the same disgust and disinterest as before. "before you leave i have something that still belongs to you, wait here" 

great, i thought to myself. its probably just yet another one of my jumpers that she decided to steal and keep for herself but when she returned she didnt have a jumper in her hand but instead a package that looked like it had been shipped in with a receipt attached to the top.

"i ordered this for you the day that you left, and i have no use for it so here." she thrusted the package into my hands, finally giving me a good look as to what it was. thats when my heart drops. the day that i broke our relationship up, when she was on her phone, it was because she was ordering me a new memory chip and must of had it overnighted. guilt was really setting in and i felt like a total jerk.

"Liza.." i started but she cut me off

"David don't. i know where this conversation will lead and i'm going to stop it before it gets there. you never called, or texted or even bothered to visit me for a week, let alone i was crying my eyes out for a good couple of days before i realised that you never loved me enough to even care that im hurting or upset. you didn't even fight for our relationship when i said that we were done. so David i dont want to hear an i'm sorry or i miss you cause i dont care anymore, im done and I think that you should and that we shouldn't keep contact because we both need to move on. goodbye David" before i could even say a word she had already closed and locked the door, leaving me standing out here alone in the hallway of her apartment complex. wow, so i guess that we really are done and that we aren't coming back from that. 

i locked myself up in room as soon as i got home and couldn't stop thinking of one line in particular that Liza had said: "i realised that you never loved me enough to even care that im hurting or upset" it really got me thinking. maybe i didnt love her as much as i had convinced myself that i did. i mean if i really did love her enough i would have fought for this relationship, and i wouldnt have let her close the door today. come to think about it, i never cried over what happened nor did i feel guilty up until this point when she handed me the memory chip. 

for some reason while realizing all of this, one girl popped into my head and i just needed to see her. so i got my phone and called her and invited her over tonight.

"Corinna hey, i was wondering if you would wanna come over tonight." 

 "yeah sure, be there in 10" 

and sure enough she was here within 10 minutes. 

"so i heard about your break up, sorry" she said to me as we sat down on my bed and scrolled through the movies on netflix. i shrugged my shoulders and replied.

"nah it was for the best, i was never really that into her anyway" or was i? no david you cant get those thoughts back into your head. i knew what exactly what needed to be done and Corinna was the perfect girl to do it with. 

we finally settled on a movie and i edged in closer to her. she did the same. within five minutes of the movie we were already in the middle of a steamy make out and then i felt her hands snake down to the rim of my jeans. without giving myself anytime to back out i unbuttoned them and took them off. things didnt stop there, and eventually we were both butt naked banging. 

*the next morning* i woke up to a knocking on my door, not realising that Corinna was still next to me. 

"what" i called out still half asleep and waking up corrina in the process. she sat up and covered up her chest region as we were still both naked from last night. Alex barged in and stopped dead in his tracks and mid-sentance.

"Dude Liza's here she..." and thats when i saw her. she stood behind alex, with a look on her face that i never seen before and for some reason it actually broke my heart and made me feel upset. her eyes were glassed over with tears that were just waiting to escape and her mouth was hanging slightly open in shock and in hurt. then her eyes slowly move their way down to find something on the floor which i had totally forgotten about, the used condom from last night. 

"wow i guess you really didnt love me, i just came to get my charger, don't worry im leaving you to your new girlfriend." Alex Just stood in disbelief and disappointment as her followed Liza out of the room and out of the apartment. 

"David should i go?" Corrinna asked me but right now she was probably all i had left so i replied with a simple:

"no"