Off Camera

This Makes it Offical

"are you sure your ready to do this dude" Alex questions me as we both hop out of the car infant of the airport. 

"yeah, im ready."i grabbed my passport and my black bag form the trunk of the car. Alex and i share a quick bro hug before im ready to catch the plane. 

"Thank you Alex for actually pushing me to do and for waking me up. i needed it. your a good friend dude." 

"you would have done the same for me, now go and get your little brown girl!" 

i catch my plane and take the time to think about all things that  have to say to her like sorry i screwed up and sorry i became such a dick. so many thoughts were zooming around my head and many were making me think that this was a baad design. what if she has already moved on, what if she doesn't even want to see me, what if her life is happier and easier without me in it. i shouldn't be thinking of this, not now anyway. i have to get my girl back but i guess i will also have to accept my reality if she doesn't want me back. 

the plane lands and i get into the uber that i had called. I look down at the little piece of paper with Liza's parents address on it which i had Gabbie write down for me and prayed for the best the while ride there.  not only was i worrying about what Liza might say but also what her parents are going to say, especially her dad. getting on the bad side of Joe Koshy was something that i definitely did not want to do! 

***

"this is it" i said in my head. The uber pulled up in front of a double storey house. i grabbed my bag and stood out the front for a couple minutes. was i really ready to face the girl i broke? her car parked in the driveway was a clear indication to me that she was home. i slowly started up the driveway and found myself dawdling at the front door, hesitating about pushing the door bell. i knew that as i soon as my finger pressed that button there was no turning back. i still had time to run if i wanted to. 

"no david, you got this" i psyched myself up and before realising it, i pressed the doorbell. my heart racing faster than it was 2 seconds ago. i turn my back to the door so that im facing the front yard, until suddenly i hear the handle and the door being opened.

"David?" I turn around to face not Liza, but Mrs Koshy, Jean. (yes this is her mom's real name, i googled it!!!) 

"uh, uh Mrs Koshy hi, is Liza there by any chance?" i asked nearly fainting after each word!

"she's ah with a friend in her room but i'm sure she won't mind you stopping by" she ushered me inside but i could tell she did not want me there. her attitude towards had changed since the last time i had seen her. but hey i don't blame her nor resent her, she is just protecting her daughter from douchebags like me! 

she pointed to the stairs and told me her door was the last door on the left but stopped me before i could move. 

"i know what happened in LA david, and i just have to say im disappointed in you and i thought you were different and that you weren't going to hurt my baby" 

"i know, Mrs koshy and so did I, i'm sorry" i moved along to the stairs with my head down in dissapointed and regret, avoiding all eye contact with her mother as i moved. finally i reached her door. another door i had yet to overcome! i knocked two times before i hear her voice beckon me in. this is it. i had no idea how this was going to go but i guess i could only hope for the best. here goes nothing. 

i open the door and drop my bag in disbelief as to why i was seeing in front of me. There was Liza on her bed with another guy, MAKING OUT!!! 

Liza breaks away from the guy she was playing tonsil hockey with at the sound me dropping my bag and looked over at me with just as much shock that i was showing. 

"david?" she asked in a questioning and hopefully voice but then changed her tone and spoke my name again in a more disappointed and uninterested way. 

"David. what are you doing here?"  she shuffles off the bed looking back at the guy who looked confused as to what was going on here.

"i came to make things right with you but clearly i see i interrupted you and your new boyfriend." i don't know why but i was angry. i was angry at myself for leaving it to late, i was angry at Liza for kissing that dude and i was angry at that dude for kissing me girl, i mean ex-girl. i pick up my bag and attempt to leave, starting down the hallway of the Koshy home before Liza yells from behind me. 

"HEY YOU DO NOT GET TO GET ANGRY AT ME FOR ACTUALLY TRYING TO FIND HAPPINESS AND YOU DEFINITELY DO NOT GET TO JUST SHOW UP AND THEN WALK AWAY, OH WAIT WALKING AWAY IS WHAT YOU DO BEST ISN'T IT?" i dropped my bag again and turned around to face her. 

"I WAS WALKING AWAY BECAUSE YOU CLEARLY HAVE MOVED ON, AND LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU WERE THE ONE FLEW TO ANOTHER STATE, SO ME WALKING AWAY ISN'T THE WORST THING OK." i shout back. this was definitely not how i pictured it going in me head, not even in the worst case scenario that i had conjured up. 

"why are you even here David? why did you feel the need to fly from LA to here just to see me?" 

"because i wanted to set things right with you, with us. make things ok between us, make up for the shit that i put you through and try to be a good boyfriend again like i used to be, but this was definitely not what i expected to happen" 

"what did you expect was going to happen Dave? did you think that you would show up on my front door step, apologize for things and then have me run back into your arms and everything become sunshines and rainbows. David this is real life not a movie." 

"damn, maybe i shouldn't have come here, maybe it was a mistake." at this moment i was hoping and praying that she would tell me or show me some sort of sign that it wasn't a mistake but the outcome just broke my heart even more. 

"yeah maybe it was. i think you should leave David, go back to LA. that's your home, and Houston is mine." i tried to suppress my tears but i just couldn't. i felt a few drops from each eyes fall down my face. i turn around, get my bag and start to leave. i reach the steps when i hear her soft sobs coming from the hallway. and then her voice spoke once again, showing that she was definitely crying at this point. 

"before you showed up here i was doing ok! i was finally starting to feel happy again and felt like i could finally move on from you and the heartbreak you had caused me, i thought that maybe i might be able to just mend my heart a little bit and give some of it to Sam, but then you just had to show up did you Dobrik. haven't you caused me enough pain and suffering already? what else do you want from me?" her voice was heaving through her tears, anger and frustration evident through her tone. 

i just couldn't hold back any longer. i came here to win my girl back and that's what i'm going to do. screw that Sam dude. she was my girl first. instead of dropping it i threw my bag up against the hallway wall and trudged toward her. hey eyes looked up in my direction, tears coming through her eyes. finally i reached her. i cupped her face in my hands and connected our lips. she hesitated for a second until finally her lips moved with mine. 

i wanted the kiss to go deeper until she pushed me off of her and looked at me with confusion and sadness. i knew what was coming. 

"David i can't do this, i want you to leave and don't come back. please, dont come back" she turned away from me and walked into the open arms of Sam who looked at me with a smug look upon his ugly face. 

tears kept falling from my eyes, and i walked straight out from their home not glancing back once. this was the worst mistake of my life and the worst pain i had ever felt, not only because i had lost her but because i knew this now makes our break up official. i had officially lost her for good this time.