homophobic • gxg [✔]

nineteen

nineteen

1 week later
Day 8 of Conversion Therapy

No one kept their promise.

There were only 3 of us left. Reagan, Rahul, and I. I've been forcing Reagan to stay, I've even seen her outside of the sessions. Nathan and Matt killed themselves, and Kenzie and Peyton left on the 4th day.

I couldn't help but think that Nathan and Matt killing themselves was my fault. I couldn't talk them out of it. They felt miserable. I guess they had a reason. I knew that their parents would never let them back together after the therapy lessons were over. So, what was the point of living without your soulmate?

Kenzie and Peyton were already planning on leaving. The therapy was getting worse day by day, mainly teaching us how to hate ourselves. Apparently, the LGBT rug was still there because we had to learn to hate it.

I tried my best not to cry everyday at dinner. I barely touched my food, especially the day Nathan and Matt died. It was even harder concentrating on exams after that. Thank god they were over.

Eva and Mom were concerned, I bet. I just didn't want to talk about it. I hardly even talked to Pillar, either. I could tell she knew the therapy was becoming worse.

There were 8 of us left. 3 from Gay, 1 from Bisexual, 2 from Transgender and 2 from Aesexual.

It was hard to believe that we lost 27 people in just 8 days. It was awful how I witnessed at least 18 suicides in just a week. I tried helping a few people, but it was no use.

The 8 of us were currently at the end of the session. We barely paid attention anymore. Every one looked miserable and broken.

Who'd send their own child here? I think, my heart breaking.

The worst part about this entire therapy, was that nothing changed for me sexuality wise. The most I've learned was to hate myself.

I looked over my shoulder, to see Reagan with a water bottle in her hand, and about 10 pills in her other.

"No!" I grunt, trying my best to get the water from out of her hand. She fought back, clutching her other hand to prevent me from knocking the pills out. "I can't let you die!"

"What's the point of living anymore, though?" Reagan sighed, still fighting for her water.

"Everything-"

"Janelle, look around you! It's only been a week and half of us have died, while the rest left! I don't know how we're still here, or why! The 8 of us haven't committed, because for most of them it's w-working!" Reagan started to cry, and I lost my grip on the bottle somehow.

"The fact," Dr. Morgan interrupted us, "That most of you committed is just a sign of completion. That the therapy worked."

I blink to keep myself from crying, "Shut the fuck up!"

Dr. Morgan and I go back and forth for at least 20 seconds, then I hear the sound of a bottle crunching over my shoulder. There I see a near-death Reagan sipping the last sip of her water bottle.

"NO! Reagan!" I scream, shaking her. She already looked pale, and her face expression was neutral.

"It...It was.. for the best....Goodbye."