homophobic • gxg [✔]

eight

eight

a/n: i forgot to keep writing chapter 7 oops

I end up being alone for the rest of the day, as for my best friends left me. Like, what the actual fuck? I understand Grace doing it, trying her best to make sure we were all happy, but I guess Nick didn't want to seem like the loser sitting at my table.

In the end, I guess they were just looking out for Alyssa.

Not understandable but whatever.

It was 4:30 and I remembered that I had "Study for finals" on my weekly planner. I sigh, heading to the library by myself.

Bitches I think, as I open the door, hearing lots of hushed whispers.

And of course every one stops talking when I enter the library.

Every one looks at me with judgmental eyes, making me sigh once more and walk to the book cases.

I was browsing through the Mathematics section, when I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn my head to see Nick.

"Hey bitch," He whispers. "Sorry about ditching you at lunch."

"Oh, it's whatever, I'm just glad you came back." I whisper back, still browsing.

"Yeahh sorry again, I'm here with Grace." He points at a table where Grace was sitting, and she waves.

I give him a smile. "Alright, give me a few minutes to get the right book."

After 5 minutes, I feel another tap on my shoulder. I think it's Nick, but the tap was much harder. I turn to see a tall guy in a black jacket smiling at me.

"Yeah?" I ask him, turning around.

"Hey, what's your naame?" He asks, licking his lips.

My god I think, mentally rolling my eyes.

"Janelle." I say, crossing my arms.

He bursts into laughter, but is immediately hushed by the librarian.

"What? What is so funny?" I quickly ask.

"Oh, you're that gay sophomore I trolled last night! Are you seriously gay though?" He exclaims. Oh, so it was the chrchrchristal person.

This son of a bitch I think.

"Um," I shift my weight to the other side of the body. "Yeah, I'm gay." I sound really unsure and awkward, but whatever.

"Fag." He whispers, pushing past me.

"I know." I mumble, sighing.

"Oh, yeah?" He turns around for a second to look at me. "Get conversion therapy." Christal walks away, leaving me in my thoughts.

Conversion therapy? What is that? I think, grabbing a book and rushing to the table.

"You alright?" Grace asks, leaning over to look at me.

"Yeah." I state, opening up the book.

~~~~~~~

I get home about an hour later, and my head hurt really bad. I learned nothing from that dumbass book and I was thinking of what conversion therapy was.

I walk down the halls to my room, opening up my laptop, and googling "Conversion Therapy."

I click on the Wikipedia site, not caring if it's Wikipedia. Not all information on the site was completely awful, and plus I was desperate to know what it was.

My eyes almost pop out of my head when I read the definition.

"The claim to change one's [LGBTQ+] sexuality to heterosexual."

The guy wanted me to force myself to become straight?!

Well, it's not like I wasn't trying to do that just 3 days ago.

But still.

Who tells a person something like that? A sexuality doesn't determine a person's personality.

Even IF being gay is wrong I think, and decide to read a bit more about conversion therapy.

For some reason, after reading some of the effects, it made me want to consider conversion therapy.

I mean, if I wasn't gay, I'd probably be a lot more happy. I thought of all of the things that would happen if I was straight.

I'd not lose any of my friends

I'd be able to do the Man Crush Mondays on Instagram

I could be the one in a gown at my wedding

I'd be able to have babies of my own and not adopt them

Wouldn't have to use a dildo

I came to the conclusion that if something went wrong for the next 3 weeks, I'd try conversion therapy.

Of course I'd never tell anyone this plan, but for some reason it felt good to be a bit more secretive than usual.

I close my laptop, and decide to use my math notebook to actually do some studying.

But of course that wouldn't last long.

~~~~

I was 3 hours into studying, and I hear a buzz from my messages.

Lyssa
hi I'm sorry about this morning, i was being such an asshole and i honestly don't know why i was acting that way, but you deserve to be happy and i love you :)

Me
daww lyssa it's ok :)) ily more

I smile at her message, and sigh of relief that we're speaking again.

So far, conversion therapy is out of the topic.

~~~~

a/n: another filler

also i have a new book out called "ps, i hate you" if you wanna check that out

also this book reached 200 reads thank y'all omg

Word Count: 855