Beatriz
"Bea, tigilan mo na ang anak ko."
"You're no good for her."
"Puro kamalasan ang dala mo sa buhay niya."
"Sinisira mo siya."
"Layuan mo na siya kasi ayaw kita para sa anak ko."
Those were the words of Ms. Lovel to me. I really didn't left Jho for the company. I left her for her mom. Ayokong masira ang relasyon nila, I know how Jho admires, idolizes and loves her mom. Hindi niya ito kayang mawala sa buhay niya.
Kaya kahit masakit, kahit sobrang mahal ko siya, pumayag ako sa gusto ni Ms. Lovel noon. Totoo rin naman eh, unti unti kong sinisira ang buhay ni Jho.
When we were on our 4th playing year, nalaman ng management na may relasyon kami. One of us should give up volleyball because it is a rule on our team na bawal ang magteammate na magkarelasyon. And it was Jho who gave up her slot. I was appointed as captain that time kaya si Jho ang inadvice-an ng management to quit. Though, she was allowed to come back the next year dahil nagbago ang rules ng management, still 1 year pa rin ang nawala para sa paglalaro niya.
Few weeks after our graduation, Jho and I had an accident. We were having a huge fight in my car, while I was driving. Because of burst of emotions, hindi ko napansin na red light pala kaya tuloy tuloy lang ang andar ng kotse hanggang sa nabangga ko ang nasa harap ko. We suffered a minor injury though mas malala kay Jho dahil hindi siya naka-seat belt. She wasn't allowed to go to work for 2 months because of that injury. That time, we were working for their company. Because of her absence at work, I was given more projects and the majority of the board of directors of the company voted for me to one of the top positions in the company. It is actually the position that Ms. Lovel is reserving for Jhoana.
We all know, that our relationship is not the conventional one. Hindi buong lipunan ang may tanggap sa relasyon namin. We received a lot of bashing and judgments from other people. Even some of Jho's relatives are not in favor of our relationship especially her lola and that caused her to be not in good terms with them.
Sa pagbilis ng patak ng luha ko, ganoon ko din pinabilis ang takbo ng sasakyan ko.
Why do I always cause pain to other people? Lagi na lang ako ang may sala, ako ang mali, ako ang malas.
Lagi ko na lang sinasaktan ang mga mahal ko. First, it was dad. Ngayon naman, si Jho.
I was in deep thoughts when a car bumped the back of my car.
What the hell? I said as I slowed down my speed and parked my park sa gilid ng daan. Ganoon din ang ginawa nung sasakyan sa likod. Mabuti na lang at wala masyadong kotse na dumadaan dito.
I checked my car at mabuti naman galos lang. I was so ready to talk with the driver when I realized that the car who bumped mine is Jho's.
"Jho?" Napatigil ako sa paglalakad.
Bumaba siya ng sasakyan niya at halata mo sa mga mata niya na galing ito sa pag-iyak.
"Jho!" Tumakbo ako ng mabilis palapit sa'kanya. "Are you okay? May masakit ba sa'yo? What happened?" She didn't answer my questions. Instead, niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit at napaiyak naman siya.
"Alam ko na ang lahat, Bea." Napahiwalay ako sa yakap niya. Ano? Paano? As much as possible, ayokong malaman ni Jho. I know magagalit si Jho sa mom niya. Alam ko rin ang kaya niyang gawin for me and for us. Hindi siya tulad ko na takot to take risks. Gugulo lang lahat kung malalaman ni Jho.
"Sinabi na sa'kin ni Jaja at Audrey. I should be mad at you dahil sinarili mo 'tong problema natin. Dapat galit ako sa'yo dahil naglihim ka at nagsinungaling. Pero hindi ko magawa, dahil alam ko na ginawa mo lang 'yun para sa'kin dahil mahal mo ako. I'm sorry Be-"
"No, I'm sorry, Jho. I've caused you too much pain. Tama ang mama mo, hindi ako nakabubuti para sa'yo."
"And you really believe that?!" Galit na sabi ni Jho.
"Of course, alam ng nanay ang nakakabuti sa kanyang anak." Napailing naman si Jho.
"Remember the accident? The bashing online? The management asking you to give up your slot sa line up. Yung-"
"Eh 'yung masasayang memories natin, Bea? Naalala mo ba? Those times na ikaw ang nag-aalaga sa'kin tuwing may sakit ako. Those times na mataas ang grades ko dahil ikaw ang tutor ko. Those times na you make me feel secured, na pinagsisilbihan mo ako na parang prinsesa. Naalala mo ba ang mga 'yun? Hindi totoo na hindi ka nakakabuti sa'kin dahil ikaw, ikaw lang ang magandang nangyari sa buhay ko. I became more positive because of you. Mas minahal ko ang buhay dahil sa'yo." Nilagay niya ang kanyang mga kamay sa pisngi ko.
"Pero Jho." Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko sa iba. Hindi ko kayang makita ang mga mata ni Jho.
"Kahit ngayon lang, Bea. Kahit ngayon mo lang ako ipaglaban. Kahit ngayon ka lang maging selfish." Nanghihina niyang sabi. Halata mo sa'kanyang pagod na siya, physically and emotionally. She leaned on my chest habang umiiyak nanaman.
"Wag puro sila, Bea. Tayo naman." She said between sobs.
Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. God knows, how I want to spend my life loving this girl. And God knows how I want to protect her and how I respect her mom.
Dad, help me. Give me a sign.
I looked down as I couldn't help but cry, too.
Napatingin ako sa kamay ni Jhoana at nakita kong suot niya ulit 'yung watch na binigay ko sa'kanya noong binisita namin si Dad.
Yung Casio.
That watch is a reminder to her that I will always love her every second of my life.
Paano ka ba dapat mahalin, Jhoana?
Narinig ko nanaman ang paghihikbi niya.
Jhoana's hurting because of what I am doing. I looked up at the sky and remembered what Dad told me when he was still alive.
Masakit magmahal pero hindi iyon guaranty na saktan mo ang mahal mo. Love is taking away the pain that love brings. Magulo ba? Haha. Maiintindihan mo rin, soon.
I understand na, Dad. Love is the pain but love is also the cure.
"The irony lies the balance of it all."
"Jho." I said while caressing her back.
"Don't break my heart, Beatriz. Don't leave me." I won't, Jho. Not again. I am ready to fight for you, to fight with you.
"Love." I said sweetly. Nagulat siya kaya natigil siya sa pag-iyak at napatingin sa'kin.
"Runaway with me." Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa hindi siya sang-ayon sa idea ko o dahil hindi niya inaasahan na iyon ang idea ko.
Sa 'tingin ko kasi this is the only option that we have. Lumayo sa mga humahadlang sa amin. Kung hindi man namin sila mapigilan, eh di kami na mismo ang lalayo sa mga 'to.
Siguro nga, sarili ko naman ang isipin ko ngayon. Baka nga, 'yung kami naman ang dapat na ipaglaban ko.
Kung dito ako masaya, bakit hindi, di'ba?
I looked at my girl. This decision is crazy and risky but you're worth it.
"Itatanan na kita." Napansin ko naman ang pagbago ng facial expression ni Jho. From gulat to a lighter aura.
"Sigurado ka na ba 'jan, Lo-love?" She said while smiling widely as if excited to hear what I'll answer. I chuckled. Sobra na akong sigurado na mahalin ka, Jhoana.
"If loving you is being selfish then I am willing to be selfish with you."
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A/n: Gotchu, Fam!
