BEA
"Sige na, mom. It's just 3 days." I tried my luck to match my request with my pacute face but mom's not giving in so I went to dad for reinforcement.
"Dad, please. Ayaw niyo bang sumaya ang baby girl niyo? It's not like I always ask for something."
"You always do, Beatriz." My brother chipped in. Natatawa naman siya kaya I rolled my eyes on him.
"It's too far, Bea. Ilocos? That's an eight-hour drive."
"Kasama ko naman mga friends ko, mom." I reasoned out.
"That's make it worst, you're a bunch of 17 year-old kids. Sinong magbabantay sainyo? Who will address your needs?" My mom said.
I looked at dad cause he's the only way that I'll win this.
"Dangerous look, mom. Mukhang dad will give in na." My brother teased.
Dad let out a sigh and looked at mom and when mom knew what will happen next she also sighed in defeat.
"Hay nako, the baby girl always gets what she wants. Bahala ka 'jan Elmer ha. If something happens, ewan ko na lang kung anong gagawin ko sainyo." And then she walks out.
"Yay! Thanks dad!" I smiled triumphantly and hugged him.
"Narinig mo ang banta ng mommy mo, ha, kaya umayos ka. Ayokong matulog sa labas ng kwarto namin." We both chuckled.
"But seriously, Bea, take there, okay? Walang papalpak."
I smiled reassuring him that nothing will happen.
---
It's been an hour and we cannot find our way out of the town where we are.
"Cel, wala pa ring signal?" I asked.
She shook her head and look at me worriedly.
"Don't worry. Makakaalis din tayo dito." I assured them.
"Halla! Ang dilim na sa labas. Can you still see the road, Bei?" Maki asked.
I looked at the road at oo nga halos hindi mo na makita ang mga susunod mong dadaanan.
We were just having fun on our trip when it rained and we needed to go back to our hotel, which is in the next province pa.
Also because of the weather, the signal is down and we can't search for the directions kaya we got lost.
Since we really can't do anything, we stopped to a transient that we passed through. Wala pa ring signal, wala nga ring kuryente sa tinuluyan namin.
We tried to go home to our hotel the next day but it took us more hours kaya naman gabi na kami nakarating so basically we were out of reach for two days.
"Hay, time to recharge our phones and let our parents know that we're still alive." Jana joked.
I didn't do what Jana said. Instead, I immediately jumped to my bed.
That was a tough roadtrip.
"Hey, Bei. Tawagan mo muna sina tita. For sure nag-aalala na yun especially that your dad calls you from time to time." Sabi ni Maki.
"Yeah for sure, they've heard in the news how bad the whether here is." Dagdag ni Jana.
Still, I did not do what my friends told me.
During that night, Cel's phone kept on ringing and looks like she doesn't have any intention to answer it so I did.
"Hello." I greeted with my sleepy voice.
"Bea?" The voice was familiar to me.
"Mom?"
"Bakit ngayon ka lang sumagot ng tawag?! We were worried sick!!" She was crying.
"Ma, I'm alive. It's fine."
I heard her sniff. "Where's dad?" I asked.
Wala akong narinig na tugon mula sakanya. "Ma?"
"Wala na ang daddy mo. Heart attack."
That night, I immediately went off, without my friends, without my things. Just me and my car.
I've arrived at the funeral, a few hours later.
Pagkakita ko sa altar where my dad is, I started to broke down.
My mom approached me, I was about to hug her nang sinampal niya ako.
That drew attention from the other people who are there.
"Ma!" Pagpigil ni Kuya Loel sakanya.
"Kasalanan mo ang lahat! Kung hindi ka na pumunta pa jan sa trip na yan! Hindi mag-aalala ang tatay mo! Hindi matitrigger and sakit niya!"
I was crying. Hopelessly crying. "I'm sorry."
"Your sorry can't bring back your father." My mom said.
"Ikaw ang pumatay sa tatay mo."
And that was the most painful words I've ever heard.
-
After my confrontation with Jho, I went to our house to cool down.
I sighed. I know wala naman siyang kasalanan but everytime that there's something that reminds mo of my dad's sickness, I can't help but be sensitive.
Kumuha ako ng maiinom sa kitchen and stayed on the kitchen counter.
I remember being told that my dad sickness was already long overdue but he and mom decided not to take actions on it yet because it might trigger fear from the BOD.
Baka akalain nila na hindi na masusubaynayan ang kumpanya ng maayos.
Akala ko noon yung mga iniinda lang ng tatay ko na sakit ng ulo was because of too much work. Dahil pala sa isang sakit that they didn't tell us.
Yun ang laging sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ko at ng iba kong kamag-anak whenever I blame myself for what happened to my dad.
But what if I really didn't pushed through the trip? Will he be still alive?
Diba? You can't blame me in blaming myself.
I was thinking deeply when I felt hands wrapped on my body.
I got to smile when I smelt her scent.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
I faced her and kissed her forehead. "I love you and I'm sorry, too."
