Hood-Mills Family One-Shots

Who I'd be

A/N: Only I would get an idea while listening to the soundtrack from Shrek the Musical.
I fucking hate myself.
Like I really do.

Anyways, Robin is a low life thief who steals only for himself. One day, He's captured trying to rob King Henry. But, The king makes a deal with him; recuse Princess Regina, his daughter, from Rumpelstiltskin's castle and he will be set free along with all the riches he can carry. Of course Robin takes that deal. On the way he meets Will Scarlet who tags along. They sneak into the castle in the hopes of not getting caught. This hope is quickly squandered, for they do get caught; But, just as Rumpelstiltskin is about to use his magic on them there's a loud crack! And, The Dark One falls to the ground. Behind him stands the beautiful ebony haired princess, a cooking pan grasped in her hands, ready to strike again. "Who are you two?" She asks skeptically. "I'm Will Scarlet and this is Robin, we came here to rescue you!" Will blurts out. Regina drops the pan and grasps the two men by the hand, "Well what are you waiting for? Let's go!" She declares, pulling them along behind her. The three escape and travel back towards Regina's kingdom.

This One-shot takes place around the campfire on the travel back. 

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Robin sat at the edge of the campfire watching Will interact with Regina, a twinge of jealously stabbing his side. Why didn't she talk to him like that? Why didn't she touch him like that?  He watched them laugh and gently push each other, 'Get a room for fucks sake' is all Robin's envious mind could think. He huffs and rolls his eyes, continuing to push his chicken bone around his plate.

"Okay okay, so what would you be if you could be anything in the entire world besides yourself?" Regina asks, smiling.

"Oh I'd be  a donkey." Will nods in all seriousness, making Regina bust out into laughter. "W-Why?" She giggles. "Because Donkeys are badass! Why? Who would you be?" Will asks.

"I'd be a-" Robin scoffs around rolls his eyes, cutting Regina off, "There's no point in wishing to be something else, you are what you are and it's a fool's errand to try and change it." Robin snaps grumpily. "That sounds like something a person who spent a lot of time wishing to be someone else would say." Regina peers at him inquisitively. Robin blinks and grumbles, "Shut it, I'm perfectly happy with what I am." Regina tilts her head slightly, "Then who would you be? ... Hypothetically of course."

Robin opens his mouth to reply with a snarky remark then closes it and looks at his feet... "I-I guess I'd be a hero... With sword and armor clashing," A small chuckle slips past his lips, "Looking semi dashing, a shield within my grip."

He looks at them a small smile spreading  onto his lips, "Or else I'd be a Viking." Robin stands up, moving closer to the fire.  "And live a life of daring, while smelling like a herring, upon a Viking ship. I'd sail away, I'd see the world, I'd reach the farthest reaches. I'd feel the wind, I'd taste the salt and sea. Maybe storm some beaches. That's who I'd be." Robin nods, "That's who I'd be."

Regina leans forward on her log, a sweet smile spreading onto lips watching the thief light up with his words. His imagination being set free. Will watching him, on the edge of his seat waiting to seat the rest of the story.

"Or... Or I could be a poet," Robin sits down next to Regina and looks at her, smiling goofily,  "And, write a different story. One that tells of glory, and wipes away the lies. To the skies I'd throw it, the stars would do the telling The moon would help with spelling, and night would dot the 'I's." Robin leaps from his seat and backs away, spinning around to look at Will. "I'd write a verse, Recite a joke, with wit and perfect timing. I'd share my heart, confess the things I yearn, and do it all while rhyming... But we all learn... " Regina watches the pure innocent excitement fade from his eyes and his smile fall. She frowns.

"But we all learn... A Thief always hides, a Thief's fate is known, and Thieves always stays in the dark and all alone..." Robin turns his back to them and shakes his head.

"So yes I'd be a hero," He turns back to them a sad smile playing across his lips. "If my wish was granted life would be enchanted... Or so the stories say." The fire crackles as Robin lets out a melancholy laugh that was so faint it was almost inaudible.  

"Of course I'd be a hero."

"I would scale a tower to save a hot-house flower." Robin grabs Regina's wrists and pull her up towards him, "And carry her away... But! Standing guard would be a beast," Robin moves her into one arm, holding her closely to his body. He reaches out and spreads his and across the sky as if he gesturing to a story written in the stars, "I'd somehow over whelm it."

Robin turns to Regina and smiles, "I'd get the girl, I'd take my breath, and I'd remove my helmet." He pauses as if for dramatic effect; Adding suspense to the story.

"We'd stand and stare, we'd speak of love, we'd feel the stars ascending..." Robin catches Regina's chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing her lips closer, "...We'd share a kiss...." He was so close Regina could feel his hot breath on her face. Regina's body tingles with excitement... He might finally kiss her.  "I'd find my destiny... I'd have a hero's ending... A perfect happy ending...." Robin mutters, trailing off as he gets lost in her wide brown orbs. "That's... That's how it would be...." He blinks and pulls away, leaving Regina standing thee feeling a sudden rush of cold.

"A big bright beautiful world...But not for me... A Thief always hides. A Thief's fate is know. Thieves always stays in the dark all alone...."

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A/N: What Happens Next? The world may never know.

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