My Red Queen |Red Queen fanfic|

Brokenhearted fool

~Mare~

How could you? How could you not see this coming?

I rub the purple bruise on my arm as I run frantically through the halls. Screaming, crying out for someone- anyone. Suddenly I have an all too familiar feeling, I'd wished I were Gisa. To be skilled, to be admired, to be indescribably beautiful.
For the first time in forever, I've longed for meekness. I cry out inaudible tears for the ears of anyone who'll save me. My heart hurts from being broken so many, too many damn times. I ache from caring, I cramp from being used. Nothing makes a girl feel so small.

I hurt. I hurt so bad

I miss being naive. Back when I was emerging, just freshly crossing that threshold from child to young woman. Back when I cried over my petty little issues and had no desire to be in love. Hah, love. Such a lie.
To think, if only I hadn't gotten my sister's hand maimed. None of this would be happening. Reds wouldn't be forced into trenches before age 18, Shade would still be alive and so would Maven's mother and Cal's father.

To think...

"Do you hear me Gods! Have you not punished me enough? What more do you want to destroy!"

I remember learning g in school about these all powerful Gods and Goddesses. They're the saving grace of this fallen world, we are meant to look to them for guidance and healing. As if, no God would spear me. No one ever has.

"Curse you for bring me into this world- all you rotten bastards can go to hell!" I scream so loudly that my throat dries up.

I slam myself into wall at full force. The pain is rapid, excruciating. Every bone, every muscle heats up like a raging fire.
I lay flat in the cold floor kicking and screaming like the night I'd learned of Shade's death. Lighting dances around me, beautiful shades of purple and yellow blind my eyes.
The sparks are almost close enough to feel them. Strangely enough, I wish they would.

"Kill me!" I screeched at an ear-shattering volume .

Kill me