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Yoongi hated those kind of days. And it was as if he really couldn't control it. It just happened. It wasn't like the night before he planned to "get up and have a horrible day tomorrow" it just happened. Sometimes it just hit him hard, and he just really hated himself. People thought that just because now he "had everything" it would go away, and Yoongi had hoped that too. But it really didn't.
It started off in the morning, he surprisingly woke up first, and was instantly ripping himself away from Hoseok's grasp, and moving to sit onto a chair instantly putting his head into his hands. He had just woken up and his brain was already going a mile a minute. It was like the depression hit him in a wave, and so did the OCD. And OCD wasn't exactly what everyone made it out to be. For him, it was writing osng lyrics, it was practicing, it was dancing, and it was working himself to the ground, and it was pulling himself away from the others.
Hoseok was confused to when he woke up and Yoongi wasn't there, not anywhere in the apartment. Maybe him and some of the others had gotten breakfast. Yet, when his phone rang from the maknaes asking him to go get food with them because Namjoon and Jin weren't up, he knew something was wrong, and frankly, it worried him.
And it worried him more that he didn't see Yoongi until practice.
Yoongi looked like shit, and he could tell managers, and the others were looking at him alike. All torn between "do we let Yoongi handle it or do we talk to Yoongi?" but how could they even talk to Yoongi if Yoongi wouldn't really talk? None of them wanted to push him. They were all hoping that Yoongi would just snap out of it.
But he didn't, the entire day he was like that. Reserved.
The entire time, all Yoongi could do was think, despite how hard he was trying not to. He didn't want to think. Especially not about Hoseok at the moment. He couldn't stand the way Hoseok had been looking at him. And he couldn't stand the look on Hoseok's face when Yoongi flinched away when he went to grab his hand earlier.
Yoongi stayed that night. To keep practicing. But he didn't notice that Hoseok was there too, waiting for him.
"Yoongi come on." He wasn't actually expecting an answer, but surprisingly he got one.
"No, I'm practicing."
"You'll wear yourself out too much Yoongi, now please come on."
He tried to shut him out.
"Min Yoongi," Hoseok marched up, grabbing his hand, startling Yoongi. "You're coming back and that is final."
It wasn't often that Hoseok got like that, but when he did, he had the power to him that made you just have to listen to every single thing he said. So Yoongi let himself get dragged away by Hoseok, who looked mad.
As Hoseok dragged him by the rest of the group, he noticed their whispering, and some of their snickering. Honestly, he wanted to gulp, he really made Hoseok angry hadn't he? Was this all just proving his point?
The door closed behind them and it didn't take Hoseok long to go off on him. "What has been going on? You've been in a funk all day and it's scaring me Yoongi. Why haven't you talk to me? Don't you know that you can't just work yourself like this? Don't you know I love and care for you, I'm right here, so just freaking talk to me Yoongi."
"I didn't mean for today to end up like this."
"I know baby, I know, but what's going on? You have to talk to me."
"I'm afraid," he muttered as he avoided Hoseok's eyes. "I'm afraid I'm not good enough for you."
Yoongi didn't know what would happen, but he didn't expect this to happen. Instantly a hand was clutching his jaw, forcing him into making eye contact, and it made him shiver. Even when his face was twisted in anger, Hoseok looked strikingly beautiful.
"Don't ever fucking say that Yoongi because you deserve the whole world and so much more." Yoongi opened his mouth to protest, but Hoseok snapped back right away, "Will you let me finish?" It wasn't as if Yoongi really had a choice. "I love you so much Yoongi and it hurts to see you think about yourself this way, I wish you could see you how I see you." his voice was more gentle this time.
"I'm sorry sunshine," he whispered. "I try. It's hard sometimes, it's really hard."
