Some Scars Never Heal

Chapter 13 - Returning Nightmares

It was time.

She knew this day would come, but she refused to believe it.  Now she sits atop her steed at the edge of her little sanctuary.  Thoughts and 'what ifs' rolled through her head like thunder storms, telling her everything that could possibly go wrong. 

She had thought of this thousands of times, over and over.  Did she really need to go back?  There were a thousand reasons as of why that answer would be yes, but a million more reasons why she should just tell herself no. 

It was essential to her to have the supplies, the fish would run out if she didn't find another meat source, only a few reasons.  She knew she would die anyway if she didn't go, but that didn't make her want to.  The poor girl didn't want to return to that nightmarish field of memories. 

If she just stayed put she wouldn't have to risk her neck, she wouldn't have to remember, she wouldn't have to see them...
But her she is, about to leave her only protection. 

It was stupid but necessary, how else would she live if she didn't get the supplies.  The teenager couldn't live off of fish and berries for her whole life, wouldn't make it through winter either.

Sucking in a deep breath she looked into the horizon, scanning the open plains.  She couldn't see any titans as of now, but knew there will be some later.  She could die here within the next few hours.  It was a painful thought, but true.  Her body could be resting in the gullet of one of the beasts that took her family.  The teen might even end with the same fate as her mother... with a broken neck a cold body. 

Shaking her head to rid herself of those thoughts she dig her heels into the side of her steed and rode forward.  Moving fast before her resolve could crumble into dirt and be stepped on by her boot.  The tall grasses whizzed by at blurring speeds and the wind flew through her hair, whipping it this way and that. 

Violet eyes scanned the entire field before them, looking for any signs of activity.  It was still fairly dark, the full moon being the only light source given.  She knew the titans relied on the sun to move, so she rode at midnight.  If she was lucky she could get what she needed and get out with no trouble, but she knew she had to be prepared.  The world never made things that easy though. 

She felt herself tense when her eyes caught sight of a dark silhouette far in the distance. 
Titan number one.
Turning her horse, she curved around it, giving herself and the sleeping titan a very generous amount of space between.  Her eyes stayed glued to the unmoving figure,  looking for any signs of it coming to life, ready to take her life, but to her luck, it stayed silent.

The titan was far behind her when her eyes caught sight of the forestry ahead. 

Maybe she would make it.

The ride was easy for the next few minutes, just simply speeding along the forest trail. Only when her eyes caught sight of the next titan did she have a mini heart attack. The thing was smack dab in the middle of the trail and only a few meters away. The girl, in her internal panic, quickly slowed down the horse, managing to make it to a walking pace 5 meters away.

Adrenaline ran rapid through her as they slowly, but quietly, wove around the beast. It was as still as a rock, and it stayed that way. She knew they wouldn't move anyway, but can you really blame her paranoia. It was because of them that she's afraid to go to her house, because of them that she has no family. So she's right to have it.

It wasn't long after that second titan that the open fields of her home came to view.  The bright full moon illuminated every single blade of grass, making it almost glow.  The three months of the little family being absent was starting to show on the man made objects.  Rot started creeping into the wood of he fences and walls of the barn.  The fence was no longer able to serve its purpose as a barrier with all the open spots where the titan plowed through or the places where some planks simply fell off because of the rot. 

Cows grazed outside of the pastures, roaming closer to the forests than they ever have before and horses played in the unkept tall grass.  If there was one thing the family had an abundance of, it was those very animals.  They had made a living off of selling the cows and horses that her mother bred and raised.  He fathers income as a fairer gave them a completely comfortable life style when added with her moms work.

She couldn't help but smile at the memories of working with her mom despite the terror than ran rapid inside her.