Chapter 17

1.6K 40 6

by nofuckingjams

by nofuckingjams

Song: heatwave by robin schulz ft Akon

" cause when we're together, your love is controlling my brain
Like plunging inside of that fire I cannot contain"

----------------------

Tom's POV:

Harrison and I were getting ready to go to the bonfire and I noticed he was drifting a lot today, we haven't hung out today at all well I guess that was partly my fault.

It's just Danielle is with this guy but he doesn't wanna go public and she asked me to like flirt with her and stuff when he's around so she can make him jealous and well I said yes because it's harmless you know I would be a jerk if I said no and I like Danielle she seems nice.

I promised myself I won't drink tonight, I don't want another incident to happen like last time besides I don't need Alcohol I got Harrison and the rest of the group and we'll have a blast.

We met up with the group and went to the party, once we arrived I was stunned, the bonfire is huge, bigger than any other bonfire I've ever seen and there was so many people, the beach was all decorated and filled with drinks and snacks.

It was amazing and I knew this time it really is gonna Be amazing because I barely remember anything from the last party and this time it's gonna different.

I know that after the movie starts shooting I'll barely be free and harrison and I won't be able to hang out like this time and I wanna make the best of this vacation.

The group is also gonna split up because most of them are going to college and won't see each other for a long time so we're all just trying to make the best of this vacation and not think of what's gonna happen after it's over.

We all sat down next to the bonfire and there was a guy with a guitar, he started playing some tunes and we all started singing it was awesome really I was having the time of my life.

I noticed Harrison wasn't here, where would he go? I told the group I was going to search for Harrison and went.

I was searching for him everywhere and I couldn't find him, I was starting to get worried, why would he just go by himself and not tell me?

I saw a figure in the trees and I went to check if it were Harrison.

It was him but he wasn't alone, he was making out with a guy , they were practically dry humping.

I didn't really know what to do at this point, should I call him? probably not he seems busy so I just decided to let him be and go back to the guys.

I can't believe I'm saying this but Harrison seems really skilled, I mean I knew he wasn't a Virgin but I never took him to be that skilled and open the way he is now.

The Feeling of insecurity hit me deep for some reason, seeing Harrison with that guy and how he was so comfortable around him and just gave into it is something I could never do.

I never define myself as anything,not gay, straight, bi or anything if I like someone I like them simple as that,but I was never comfortable enough to go to third base with someone before.

Yeah surprise surprise I'm a virgin , it never bothered me before but seeing Harrison so loose and let go like that showed me what I'm missing, I'm 19 and I've never had a serious relationship or been intimate with anyone before

I guess after finding out what my mom did to my dad I've been really keeping my walls up, I'm just scared someone will do that to me, I mean my parents have been married for 21 years.

I always thought they were soulmates, but after seeing how mom could just betray dad like that and not care and how my dad just doesn't know anything and comes home everyday thinking his loving loyal wife is there while that woman died a long time ago because the woman I caught with a random guy isn't my mom and she never will be.

I'm honestly terrified someone will do that to me but I don't wanna have commitment and trust issues because of my mom's doings I wanna be able to love someone without always being afraid,I wanna be intimate with someone without being scared they'll leave Me or betray me.

Seeing Harrison and that guy made me want that feeling, the feeling of letting go with someone I just don't know if there's ever gonna be a person that's gonna be able to make me feel this way.