Risking the Long Game ✅

40. Baby Blues and Baby Boys

Maya's POV

I get through the rest of the week keeping my secret secure. I know I need to talk to my parents but I felt like I had to tell Josh first and I was unsure of how to do it. We were in high school, it wasn't like kids were something I was ready to have but the fact that it might be nearly impossible to have them in the future scared the hell out of me. I wanted a family. I always thought I would have a huge family. I was an only child and I hated it, I always wanted a sibling and I never wanted my kid to feel lonely like I did. Josh and I are sitting in my bedroom working on homework. It's Friday night and I'm supposed to be focused on Hamlet but instead my mind keeps drifting. "I've read the same sentence eleven times" I moan in annoyance, throwing my book onto the desk.

"Something wrong?" Josh asks worriedly, looking up from his book.

"Do you want kids someday?" I ask bluntly. I know the question took him aback but he sits up and answers me nonetheless.

"Yea. I want four" he replies making my heart stop. Four? I would be lucky to get one. My face must fall because he gives me a concerned look. "Why? What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing" I shake my head, turning back around in my chair.

"Nope. I'm not buying it" he says as he grabs the back of my chair and spins me around to face him. "You've been distant all fucking week. What's going on with you?" he asks worriedly.

"On Monday when we were at your place the doctor called" I explain making his look of worry change to sheer terror. "I'm fine" I assure him, placing my hand on his cheek. "She just told me that my luteinizing hormone levels are low" I explain.

"Oh. Okay. What does that mean?" he asks curiously. I take a deep breath and hold back my tears.

"It causes me to have abnormal menstrual cycles which in turns mean that I don't release an egg every month like I'm supposed to" I explain. He looks so lost. "Josh it means that without medication to fix the issue it's going to be really hard for me to conceive someday" I explain in simpler terms. His eyes widen.

"Difficult but not impossible?" he asks.

"Right."

"So we can still have kids" he checks. I ignore the flutter that the word we causes.

"If we have the world's best timing" I laugh lightly. "And I can go medication that can help raise the levels and get my period back on track."

"Have you told your mom yet?" I shake my head.

"I felt like I had to tell you first. I mean it kinda impacts us the most. I just need my mom's consent for the pills."

"Okay" he smiles softly, placing his hands over mine. "It's gonna be okay baby."

"What if they don't work and we never have kids."

"Then we'll adopt. Maya we'll get through this and we'll get through it together." I stare down at him and a smile pulls at my lips.

"You realize this is crazy right? Talking about babies in high school."

"Talking about them doesn't make them appear" he points out making me chuckle. "And this is important and the sooner you get a handle on it the less of an issue we'll have when we want kids" he continues on.

"I love you."

"And I love you. Next time something like this happens tell me right away, don't wait a week."

"Okay" I nod, leaning down to kiss him. "Wanna help me study again?" I ask with a smirk making him chuckle.

"I think you want me to help you study" he teases making a blush rise on my cheeks.