Confessions of a Sex Addict

Five

SaraBeth ⬆️ picture above

I sit in my chair waiting for group to start as the others come in I focus my attention on SaraBeth as she wears her hair in a ponytail and her sweatpants and a baby blue tank top with a small sized black and grey hoodie. She sits down next to Spencer across from AmberLynn who's addicted to speed. I keep my head down so that she won't notice me. Dr. Edwards-Paul studies the group before he begins and looks at AmberLynn then at everyone else. I sit up from my seat and try to pay attention. I like group sometimes. I just feel bad about the last time we had it. I was a mess. I didn't know what was happening.

Dr. Edwards-Paul said I blacked out or something. It's not fair having all the attention on you when you spaz out. Dr. Edwards-Paul got up from his seat to fix his pants and sat back down. I shook my head and smirked a little because Dr. Edwards-Paul likes to be a perfectest. I think he has OCD.

"Would anyone like to share with the group on your progress?" Dr. Edwards-Paul says as he looks around the group. No one says anything for a while; a couple people yawn because either they had just woken up or don't want to be here.

I see SaraBeth sitting there out the corner of my hoodie then she raises her hand to speak.

"I'd like to say something, if that's alright." she says as everyone turns their heads.

I looked at her as she stood up and walked in the middle of the room. She couldn't of been more beautiful. Everyone starts to talk to the person either sitting next to them, or to themselves. The staff and Dr. Edwards-Paul tries to quiet everyone down as I sit up in my chair a little to focus my attention on her.

"Everyone settle down, quiet down people...." Dr. Edwards-Paul says trying to quiet everyone.

They quiet down and Dr. Edwards-Paul looks at SaraBeth. Some of the other girls whisper among themselves and giggle as SaraBeth doesn't say anything yet. "It's quite alright SaraBeth, what is it you wanted to say?" Dr. Edwards-Paul says to her as he looks at some of the girls that are making side comments. I turn my head because I don't want to be entertained with childlike behavior, and foolishness. I shake my head in the process and giggle under my breath a little as I lick my lips.

I look at SaraBeth who seems to notice me staring; so I try to play it cool by sliding down in my seat covering my face so all she can see are my lips and the tip of my tongue peeking out of the corner of  mouth. She stands up and walks in the middle of the floor. She puts her hands in her hoodie and looks at the ground, but only for a moment. It took a moment for her to speak. She was nervous and afraid of people judging her, but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't going to judge her, I wasn't going to leave her...

    "Hi, everyone.... I'm SaraBeth McKinley... I'm twenty-two, and I'm an alcoholic/drug abuser. I come from a very pristine lifestyle where everything and everyone had to be perfect. Growing up was hard by the age of twelve I started drinking and then by fifteen I started using... drugs. At first I wanted to impress my friends because everyone that I was associated with was an outcast. I wanted to be a rebel against society and it's so called rules of life.... My dad passed away when I was seven and mom worked her butt off to keep me and my brother threw school. She taught us the importance of life to never take anyone for granted. I moved to L.A. when I was about I'd say thirteen to escape reality, but as I got older it just seemed like something I did on a regular. The feel of getting high was unimaginable. It felt like I was on clouds dancing, and floating in the air. I felt like I was in control of my life and for once..... I had power... Power to make my own decisions instead of someone making them for me. I felt like SaraBeth."