Confessions of a Sex Addict

Sixteen

She looked into my eyes as I do hers. Neither of us spoke as we just stared into each other's eyes. I couldn't do this; not to her especially. She's so innocent, so pure, and delicate like a rose being blown away by the grace of the breeze. There's no way I would want to destroy that, but she kissed me; her lips, so soft, the way she felt. I wanted her... and badly. Temptation was clouding my judgment and telling me to go for it... just kiss her back, but I couldn't ruin my chances of leaving this place for good. I've been doing so well here that Dr. DeShawn told me last week that if I follow protocol then I should be able to leave within the next six months if I participate in group; but Joy.... I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize my chance.

My mind was filled with all these thoughts I just couldn't contain my urges any longer, so I kissed her harder than I've ever kissed a woman before with my tongue. She liked it so did I. I had this feeling in me that wanted to do things to Joy. I wanted to rip her clothes off and taste her sweet cherry blossom... I wanted to have her cum drip down my throat as it trickles. So warm, so  juicy, so right. I wanted Joy to feel what it's like to be touched the right way.

To let her know how good it feels to be held tight in someone's arms; having that moment of relief. I wanted Joy... I needed Joy... As I pulled my lips apart I looked into her eyes and saw how bad she wanted too. "Joy..." I closed my eyes as I breathed in deeply as I whispered her name softly. I kissed her back once more and picked her up and backed her against the wall staring into her eyes as she breathed in I did the same.

I pulled away with the intention of picking her up and holding her in my arms as she grips onto me for support; but I took a deep breath and counted backwards from twenty. She and I look into each other's eyes as I could tell I crossed the line. None of us spoke a word all we did was stare at each other. I wanted her so bad. I wanted to gently take off her clothes and lick her from the neck down as my hands would touch all over her body. "No!...." I say as she jumps a little because I frightened her. I touched her face as she slightly moved it and looked down. I breathed in through my nose to calm down some more and I gently lifted up her head as I licked my lips and kissed her bottom lip then slowly pulled away as I kissed the top.

My hands filled all the way up her body as she gasped for air. I tighten my eyes to fight the temptation of pushing her against the wall and thrusting in between her hips; our bodies tighten as she was closing her eyes as she scrunched up her face. I was fighting so hard not to give in, but as soon as she touched my face I gave it my all and went absolutely insane. I couldn't hold it in much longer.

      I bit my lip hard because what I was about to say killed me inside and out. "Joy, I... I can't, it's not that I don't want to... it's just..." I say as the words didn't come out right. She smirked at me and put her index finger on my lip to shh me. I grabbed her by the hand and placed my head on her shoulder and hugged her. "Alec... I came by to tell you something" she says as I lift my head off her shoulder and stared at her. "What... seems to be the problem?" I say in a concerned tone.

She looked at me and walked over to the bed and sat down at the edge of it. I walked over and sat down in the chair as I listened to her. "What's wrong Joy..." I say to her as I lean in a little forward as I rest my forearms on my knees and look at her with worry lines on my forehead. I lick my lips as I patiently wait for Joy to speak. Her cellphone goes off and she answers it. "Hello... well yes, I know... but..." she says as her face goes from calm to concerned; then all of a sudden her face went completely pale; white as snow even. I could hear the voice from where I was sitting.