Heal Me, Shatter Me [YOONGI x READER BTS]

Chapter 9, The Soothing.

Content warning: physical abuse/ violence references. 

"Alright that's a wrap boys" the photographer said when he took the last shot of the boys.

"Fucking finally" Yoongi sighed, feeling like his soul had left his body. Namjoon shot Yoongi a warning glare.

"I mean, wow, this was fun. Let's do it more often" Yoongi said already starting to strip off the various pieces he was wearing and make his way to the dressing room. All the boys followed behind, walking into the room and discarding of their outfits to put on their own clothes. A knock sounded at the door and Jungkook walked over to open it, Y/N standing in the doorway.

"I told you guys you'd be out of here soon, you're all set to go home. The vans are outside waiting to take us back to Big Hit. Great job today" you said, your eyes setting on Yoongi. He held your gaze as he had done all day during the shoot. Yoongi found his mind constantly drifting between Min Sun and Y/N all day, but his anger with Min Sun was not as bad as he thought it was going to be. He felt a sense of relief instead, thinking back to the several moments in their relationship where they were incompatible. That's when he thought of you, and how maybe you had become dependent on someone too. After Gi cheated on Yoongi in the beginning years of his career, he fell hard. The scandal had spread quickly, no one paying any attention to his music anymore, they could only talk about his love life. So he turned back to drinking, drinking his sorrows away. He eventually met Min Sun at a party where her publishing house was printing the book for an idol he was friends with. They hit it off well and Min Sun was there to pull him out of the drinking. When he thinks about it now, as he did all day since he had nothing to do but stare into a lense, he became dependant on her validation. Her validation in his music and love. He knew he had treated her well, he went above and beyond to show her how much he loved her and maybe that was the problem. He felt so much guilt over the times he'd left her for business trips, but he always repaid her ten folds with days of vacations together and gifts, letting her decide on whatever they wanted to do. Never once did she ask what he wanted, never once did she tell him he didn't have to do all that. He knew being in a relationship with an idol wasn't easy but she never made it easy for Yoongi either. Constant complaints of his schedule, time away from home, too much time with the boys, too many girls around, he thought of all the ridiculous complaints he'd heard over the last year. Yoongi felt annoyance, he became dependant on Min Sun and recalled all the moments he thought they shouldn't be together but stayed because of how much she'd helped him. She healed me, Yoongi thought, but fed off me after that and drained me without realizing it.

"Ready Yoongi" Hoseok said looking over at him.

"Ya, let's go" Yoongi shrugged on his coat and made his way out with Hoseok into the vans. Yoongi climbed into the first van, Jin, Namjoon, Taehyung and Y/N seated in the back and Saejin at the front with the driver. Yoongi climbed in taking the seat next to you and putting on his seatbelt.

"Tired?" you said peering at Yoongi.

He turned over to look at you, your eyes not as empty today.

"A bit, it's still early for me" he said as the car drove off into the night. You looked out the window watching the city lights take up the entire city. It really was beautiful and you thought to yourself maybe you could stay here forever, make a life for yourself without your past in Daegu holding you down. The car started coming to a screeching stop when the car ahead slammed on its brakes too suddenly. You'd body shot forward in the seat, your seat belt holding you back but tugging too tight on your shoulder. You hissed at the pain that shot through your arm from the impact of the seat belt against a bruise that was only a few days old.

The driver turned around to you, hearing the noise you'd made.

"Sorry guys, are you okay Miss?"