I Depend On You ~Zach Herron~

40

Iris's P.O.V.

By the time Tuesday morning rolled around, I had completely forgotten about my unexplainable dream. I spent the whole weekend with Zach as if we hadn't been separated.

"He's here." Zach sighed looking down at his phone. Zach had to call an uber to take him to the airport because my mom and I had work and school.

"Ugh, okay," I said turning and giving him a hug.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. I don't want to wait a whole month before seeing you again," I told him.

"I know, but we'll get through it. I love you."

"I love you too." I kissed his pink lips trying to make the moment last.

"I don't know how I'll make it a month without your kisses." He shook his head. I kissed him again before walking downstairs and outside with him.

"Bye Zach." I hugged him again.

"Bye Iris." He waved as he got into the car and drove away.

I turned and walked back inside trying not to cry. I hated leaving him, and even though it's happened so many times, I haven't gotten used to it.

I finished getting ready for school, then left my house. I wasn't in as good of a mood as I usually was. I went through the slow day barely talking to anyone, just keeping to myself.

I don't know how my mom doesn't feel guilty when I'm feeling this way. She's the one putting me through this. All because she thinks I need a face to face education, but I don't. Hopefully I can make it through the three months left of this semester.

When I got home I finished my homework, then got out my songbook. I flipped through the pages looking for inspiration, when I randomly got an idea. It took me a second to remember where it came from. I had written a song in my dream, and I really liked it, so I put it in my book.

                              ***

"Iris!" My mom shouted from the living room.

"Yeah?" I called back. I waited for an answer, but when I didn't get one, I sighed before getting out of my bed and going to the living room.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Your dad... He's gonna stay with us for a few days."

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"He lost his job and his house, so I told him he could stay with us for. A few days until he gets everything figured out. Is that a problem?"

"No, I've been wanting to see him again. I just didn't expect you to offer that."

"Well I just felt like it was a nice thing to do. We've become great friends again," she said.

"Mhmm." I smirked.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, nothing." I put my hands up in defense.

"Anyways, he's coming tomorrow."

"Okay." I nodded.

"Ava asked me to come over, so I'll be over there," I said going back to my room to get my shoes and my phone.

"Okay. Be back for dinner. Love you."

"Love you, too." I walked out to my car and drove the short distance to the Ava's.

"Isla! Hey, how are you?" I asked hugging her when she opened the door.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Good."

"Ava's in her room," she said.

"Okay." I walked through the house to Ava's room saying hi to Kristin.

"Hey," she said when I walked in.

"Hi." I sat on her bed.

We hung out for a while just talking like we usually did. She reminded me a lot of Jack, which made me miss him more. We didn't talk much about the boys, except for my dates with Zach the past weekend.

When my phone buzzed with a text from my mom, I hugged the whole family one by one before driving back home. My mom and I ate dinner and cleaned up just like every other uneventful night.

"You still set on moving back?" She asked as I put our plates in the dishwasher.

"Of course. I love it here, but work is so much easier if I'm there," I told her.

"I get it." She nodded.

I went to my room and turned on the tv finding a random show on Netflix. I got a notification that Zach was live on instagram. I joined in and watched as he interacted with the fans. I smiled every time he laughed or smiled. I missed him so much.

                              ***

As the days slowly went by, I started becoming less and less happy. It was barely October and it felt like it had been years since I had seen the guys. They seemed to be having so much fun without me, like they didn't even need me.

Sure, Zach would text me every night and tell me he loves me. But he was having fun without me, while I sat in my room doing nothing but homework.

I tried to stay happy, but my mind slipped into the terrible place I had once been in. I felt like no one wanted me, no one needed me. It got so bad that even messages from my fans didn't help.

My mom and dad had been dating for the past few weeks so I wasn't really on their minds. It wasn't as big of a deal as I had imagined. He just visited for a few days, and the visit turned into a long term thing. Most nights I came home to a note from them saying they were eating at a restaurant or something.

Tonight was one of the nights where I shouldn't have been alone. I had finished my homework and I was just laying on my bed. I began to think and think, something that was a big mistake.

Do the guys even like me? Like I know that Jack and I have been friends for a long time, but maybe it was all just pity. He didn't want me to kill myself so he faked our friendship so he wouldn't feel guilty. And Zach, I don't know why he hasn't left me for Jazmine yet. She's so much prettier than me.

None of the guys want me. I'm sure Zach is just too worried that I'll kill myself  to break up with me and that's why he hasn't dumped me yet. I mean they haven't even thought about making plans to visit. They don't care about me anymore.

Iris that's not true! The guys love you! You mean so much to them. I bet that on the inside they're torn because you aren't there to laugh with them. They want you there, but they know you can't be.

The thoughts continued to worsen. It was like I was having this constant battle in my brain. I just wanted all of the voices to shut up. I went into my moms bathroom where the medicine cabinet was.

When I grabbed the medicine for my headache, I heard a voice telling me to swallow them all. But then I thought of Jack. He wasn't here to save me like the first time. He's not here because she doesn't care about me. No, he's not here because he can't be! He has work to do.

I shook the thoughts away before just taking two pills. I put the bottle away before I did something I'd regret, and went back upstairs.

Soon the medicine kicked in and not only did my headache go away, but I got really tired. The voices weren't so loud, but I fell asleep with a tear stained face.

                             *****

A/n

Okay, I'm really sorry I didn't update last night. I got kind of stuck, but when I got unstuck it just started flowing and I got more written than I thought.

Guys, 15K??? WHAT!?!??! Thank you so so much! It means so much to me to know that that many people read my story.

I hope you liked the chapter! Vote and comment!