DARK and WILD || {k.taehyung} ✔

- 37 -

#DAWArguements

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakarating dito nang tumatakbo lang. I was crying, and I was breathless.

"Tito..." I said.

Agad siyang lumapit sakin at niyakap ako. "I'm sorry.." He whispered.

I cried harder. Hindi ko akalain dadating sa ganito lahat. Parang kahapon lang ang saya namin magkasama tapos biglang mawawala na lang siya nang ganito. Because of me, because he protected me.

But why? What was supposed to happen that he risked his own life for me? Why did he love me so much?

"Thank you Venice. Thank you for loving my son." Tito said.

"No Tito. Don't thank me. Hindi ko deserve yung pagmamahal na binigay niya sakin. I'm sorry, this was all because of me."

"Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo, it's not your fault that both of you fell in love with each other."

"Pero Tito, hindi pa naman talaga siya patay diba? He's still there. He might come back! Wala namang body na nakita eh." I cried.

He nodded, "The police might have given up, but please, don't stop praying Venice. My son's out there and I know it."

"I will wait for him Tito. As long as I can."

--

Morning came in and I was at school again. Talks of Lucas' death spread like a wildfire. It was officially announced by the administrators and I chose to stay in front of the quarters.

I sat there like I always did, and hugged myself. Hindi ako umattend ng klase, ayoko muna. Ilang oras na akong nandoon, nang may tumawag sa pangalan ko.

"Venice." I looked up to who it was, and it was Henry.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Wala ka sa classroom, so I asked you cousin. Sabi niya sabay naman daw kayong umalis ng bahay. So hinanap kita sa Library, canteen, sa field, tapos late ko na naisip na baka andito ko nanaman." He explained.

"And why would you look for me?"

"Becuase, ikaw lang ang kaclose ko eh, and I figured, baka umiiyak ka nanaman dahil sa nangyari." He said.

Hindi na ako sumagot. I just tightened my hug and silently sat there. Naupo din siya sa tabi ko. Tahimik lang kami parehas hanggang sa napagod na ako kakaupo.

I stood up and picked up my things. Tumayo din siya. Sabay na kaming pumunta sa classroom at nakita ko nanaman si Mickey at Laverne na tumatawa kasama yung mga bago nilang kaibigan. They both looked at me pero hindi ko na sila pinuntahan.

Dumiretso ako sa upuan ko pero lumapit pa si Mickey sakin.

"Huy. Anong problema?" Tanong niya, which annoyed me.

"Problema? Bakit? Hindi mo ba alam kung anong problema ko?" I said.

"What? No. Ilang araw mo na kaming hindi pinapansin eh." Naupo siya sa bakanteng upuan na nasa harapan ko.

I sighed. I don't to argue pero alam kong hindi siya aalis sa harapan ko hangga't hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya kung ano ba talaga ng dahilan ko.

"So? Will you now tell me what your problem is?" He asked.

"Kayo. Kayo ang problema ko." I said and walked out. Sinundan nila ako ni Laverne sa labas at hinarang.

"Bakit?" Tanong ni Laverne.

"Seeiously? You're asking me kung bakit?" I asked, more annoyed. "You know very well what happened to him! It hasn't been that long and yet... tumatawa na kayo kasama ang iba? I was left alone agonizing. Sinarili ko yung pag-iisip kung ano na ba ang nangyari sa kanya, kung babalik pa ba siya. Now they all assumed he's dead! Bakit... Bakit parang wala lang sa inyo?" I cried.

"Venice..." They both said.

"Hindi niyo man lang ako nilapitan para tanungin kung okay lang ba ako? Kung anong nararamdaman ko nung sinabi nilang patay na siya!"

"Bakit? Ikaw lang ba ang nahihirapan?! Kaibigan namin si Lucas for as long as I remember! Pero ayokong mamukmok sa isang tabi at umiyak. Dahil sa tingin mo ba gusto ni Lucas na makitang sinasayang ko ang oras ko kakaiyak sa isang tabi dahil sa kanya?!" She screamed, and started crying. Mickey was quiet and no one else was around.

"Hindi mali ang hindi umiyak at magpakatatag. But the way you laughed and smiled with others? Parang hindi ka namatayan ng kaibigan!"

"Tingin mo ba hindi ako umiiyak?" She said, almost a whisper.

"Tama na. Walang magandang mangyayari king mag-aaway tayo." Mickey said, the I looked at him.

"And you? Pinsan kita pero hindi mo man lang ako magawang lapitan at samahan dito sa school. You chose to forget what happened with your best friend and laugh with them." I said to him.

"Venice. I tried. I tried talking the s**t out of you pero palagi mo akong itinataboy! You pushed me away pero hindi ako nagalit dahil naisip ko na baka kailangan mo lang ng space. But I didn't know you'll act like this." Then he walked away.

Laverne shook her head and followed my cousin.

They left me with my own guilt. Pakiramdam ko ang sama kong tao. Hindi ko naisip na may nagawa din pala akong mali. They're both hurting too, dahil kaibigan nila si Lucas pero hindi ko inisip ko. Instead, I was blinded by my own pain. Hindi lang naman ako ang nahihirapan.

Huli na para maisip ko na siguro paraan nila yun para makalimutan yung sakit. They laugh because they don't want to cry.

"Huy."

It was Henry again.

"Ano nanamang ginagawa mo dito? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" I asked.

"Maybe yes? Maybe no." He said then shrugged.

"Iwan mo na ako." I said.

"I think that's your problem. You pushed your friends away when they tried to comfort you. Tapos magagalit ka sa kanila na hindi ka nila nilalapitan at tinatanong kung okay ka lang? You know why? Kasi they thought you wanted to be alone. And now? I'm here trying to accompany you and yet you're also pushing me away?" He said.

The guilt started eating me up.

"I know you loved that guy. But seeing you push people away because of your agony is not good. Be nice, Ve-nice." He said.

Natawa naman ako. He called me Ve-Nice.  But he's right. Mali ako.

"Thank you." I said.

"No worries Nice." Then he winked.

"Nice?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.

"Yeah, Be nice, Ve-nice. I'm calling you Nice from now on." He said while smiling.

It's the first time I laughed since Lucas went missing, and I'm thankful that Henry did not stop bothering me.

--