Love Will Remember ❄︎ Camren

Chapter Thirty Five: Love Would Always Remember. I Promise

"I fell in love with you, because you loved me when I couldn't even begin to love myself." Those words echoed through Lauren's mind like a plague. It was one of the last things Camila told Lauren before the accident. They were sat; eating at the restaurant on their date when the brunette grasped her hand, looked into her eyes and spilled her heart's contents.

The memory of Camila still felt like home to her. So whenever her mind wandered, it always found it's way back to her. You know what they say, 'home is where the heart is.' And Lauren's heart was and will always be with the brown haired Latina.

It's painful, to love someone from afar. Not necessarily in the aspect of them still being around you. But being somewhere out there without knowing if they were okay, if they missed you, if they still loved you.

The once familiar elements of Camila and Lauren's life together were now reduced to soul wrenching mentions in conversations, or the occasional glance at photographs with her in it.
She only existed to Lauren now, as something that could still hurt her, even without having actual contact with her; no matter how long.

Just the mention of her name, was enough to send Lauren on a downward spiral, and to cause the memories to rush back in. It was nothing but a heartbreak.

Lauren missed the feeling of connection, knowing that Camila was somewhere out there; whether at work or out with her friends, thinking about her at the same time she was thinking about her.

That's the thing about love, it's like a candle. Even until it burns your hand and when the light has long since gone, you will still be there in the darkness holding what remains, as the wax falls onto your skin.

Simply because you cannot let the person go.

As Lauren brought the cigarette to her lips, she took a pull of it and let the nicotine enter her lungs, then she breathed out into the morning's air as she stood leaning over the balcony over looking the city. She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through her dyed black hair.

Smoking was never something she did, until now. Until the day she left. She needed to get something to help calm the nerves but it never did.

The last time Lauren felt alive, was looking into her brown eyes. Breathing her hair, feeling her lips against hers, touching her skin. Then, she said goodbye. The last time she was alive, she was dying.

Though the words, would never find her, Lauren hoped Camila knew that she was thinking of her and wishing her nothing but happiness...and love.

Even if she wasn't the one Camila wanted anymore. She still deserved happiness, even if it wasn't with her.

Lauren put the cigarette out and headed back inside to get ready for another day at work. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was exactly 5:30. She picked up the velvet ring box and opened it slowly. Looking at the plain silver band, it was a commitment ring she had bought three years ago to give Camila for their anniversary but of course, she never had the opportunity to give it to her.

"It's difficult for me to imagine the rest of my life without you," Lauren muttered to herself as she pulled the ring out of the box and ran her thumb finger over it. "But I suppose I don't have to imagine it. I just have to live it. No matter how hard it is, and how badly you ruined me."

Placing the ring back in the box, Lauren slipped it into her bedside drawer. She wasn't ready to get rid of it just yet. She may have admitted it out loud to Normani that she had to move on, but it was easier said than done.

***

"Do you want me to wait for you ma'am?" The green eyed CEO's driver asked as he held the door open for her to get out.