It's been a week and she still hasn't even cracked a smile or said something other than "no thank you, i'm okay". Michael was someone very important in her life. If it wasn't for me, he'd probably be her number one bestfriend.
I didn't know the guy that well. He would always stop by in the summer and during Christmas vacation. I always just stayed away during those times and found myself doing uninteresting things, because, let's face it, all of my good times are with Noel.
The funeral was not only hard for her, it was hard for me. Not because I was upset about his death, which I definitely was, but because El was so broken. She could barely stand and it killed me seeing her like that. I even let a few tears spill out.
We're sitting on her bed doing our homework right at this moment. She hasn't said a word she just nods her head yes or no or she'll give me a little shrug. I've tried everything just to see her smile. Nothing has worked.
"What'd you get for number 45," I asked her, hoping to get a real response this time. However, she just shrugged. I let out a long sigh in defeat and looked over to my right at her night stand. There was a picture of her and Michael sitting right next to the picture of her and me.
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She looks so tiny and cute in the picture, it reminds me of all of her good, happy times.
"El, can you please talk to me," I finally asked as I turned my attention back to her. "I hate seeing you this way. It kills me." She looked up from her homework right at me. A spark of hope lit up inside of my heart. She scooted out of her spot and wrapped her arms around me.
"Thank you," she whispered, just as I wrapped my arms around her waist, rubbing up and down her back.
•••
I can't get the image of that dead kid out of my head. It's driving me insane. Nothing can take my mind off of it. The only time I'm not thinking about it, is when I'm thinking about Nick and seeing his face after he did it.
He knew he did something wrong. I could see it in his eyes. He knew he wasn't getting out of this one... and he didn't.
Noel has tried so hard to get my mind off of it. She's taken me to the movies, that didn't help much. She took me shopping and bought me some stuff, which made me feel worse because I should be the one spoiling her. She even had little make out sessions with me and let me feel her boobs, which is the farthest I've ever gotten with her.
Nothing is working, though. Nothing at all. The only thing that makes me feel better is smoking and drinking and I know that's not the path I should be taking, but I don't know what else to do anymore.
•••
noel
It's been almost a week since everything went down with Nick. He hasn't even cracked a smile or even looked the slightest bit happy. It really breaks my heart seeing him likes this. The last time I saw him like this was when Bonnie left, but he was only like that for about half of a day and then he was back to his regular, energetic self.
I've even tried letting him touch my boobs. He doesn't even get a hard on. Not that that's what I want, but Carl always gets excited over sexual events. So, I thought it would cheer him up. Guess not.
"Hey," I whispered to him, sure not to get any of my classmate's (or teacher's) attention as I did so, "Do you want to come over after school? We can hang out?" He looked up from his paper and shrugged.
"I'm busy," he nonchalantly stated. Ouch. I've got to admit. That kind of hurt, but I mean, he's aloud to have a life without me always being with him. He's just never shot me down like that before.
"Oh, okay," I forced a smile. "Maybe tomorrow?" He shrugged once more.
"We'll see," he turned back to his paper and finished doing his work.
Maybe he just wants to be alone?
•••
I walked home alone today. Carl left school right after the final bell rang. He didn't even say goodbye or I love you or I'll see you later. He just left without even glancing at me.
I know I'm probably the least of his worries right now. I should be. He has so much on his plate at the moment. Maybe a girlfriend isn't what he needs right now.
"Hey, beautiful,"someone called from across the street as I finally reached my house.
"Hey," I said suprised as I saw Travis walking down the Gallagher's front steps. "What, um, what are you doing here?" He ran across the street to where I was.
"My friend, Debbie, lives across the street," he told me. "She's Carl's sister, right?"
"Uh, yeah," I said. "How do you know Debbie?"
"She's in my math class," I stated. "She's really smart, well, school smart." He raised his eyebrows. I turned and crossed my arms, furrowing my eyebrows at him. "I don't mean that as an insult to her. She's just not... sex smart. Getting knocked up and all. I heard she raped her ex..." I rolled my eyes at that last sentence and turned to walk up my front steps. "Hey, where is Carl anyways?"
"I don't know," I answered honestly. "Why?"
"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to study or something? We have that big history test coming up," he suggested.
"Travis, it's a 15 question quiz. Besides, history is easy," I stated.
"Well, good. Maybe you can help me. I have a C-. I need atleast a B or my dad is going to kick my ass," he said. I let out a sigh and turned back around towards the door.
"Fine, let's go." And right as I said those three words, I heard him run up the front steps.
"Cool," he cheered. I opened the front door to my house and walked in. Travis followed my lead.
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a/n: im so sorry for the lack of updates! i've been TOO busy lately and i promise i didn't forget about y'all!! also, sorry for this short, boring chapter. i don't know where this story is going and i don't know if you guys will like the ending... BUT there might be a sequel..... I DON'T KNOW YET THO! SO DON'T GET TOO EXCITED!! anyways, love you guys sm!! thank you for reading ;)
