Killer Bad Girl | COMPLETED

Chapter 47 - Forgive

Warning: I suck balls at editing. Expect mistakes.

Two months later...

Sasha

I missed the simplicity of leading an innocent life. I missed that grateful sensation in my heart was assuring me that for every moment I am alive that I am blessed, not burdened, not punished. I envied those who lead a sheltered life, away from the shady part of the world.

My ears clung to the silence, and I forced myself into taking slow intakes of the hot musk air, deep pigmented red liquid coated me from the tips of my fingers to the edges of my toes.

A sheer layer of glistening sweat dripped from the start of my hairline to the slimy cell floor. The soft rhythmic drops of my tears padding against the ground was all that I could rely on, all that I knew could but would not change.

I couldn't forgive myself.

I didn't deserve forgiveness.

I glance down at my shaking hands. Red fluids freshly painted across my knuckles contrasting my skin from how it used to appear soft, fragile, untouched. Now, it was ragged and damaged. He got what he had wished for; he took the thing that he wanted for the most. The last parts of my dignity.

My body jolted in reaction to the screeching sound of the thick sliding door open; my hands instantly moved to my ears as I tried to drown out the screaming of the complaining metal door against rock floor. I did my best to ignore the fact that he was back once again. He would always be back eventually.

"Let's go." In simple words, six letters conjoined together to signify the recurring beginning of my unending cycle.

Without debate, I rise from the floor and follow him out of my cell. My cold, distant eyes focused on the floor as I obediently accompanied the memorized path that I had been pacing for the last two months.

"Do I need to go over the consistencies of your disobedience again?" Ryder challenged turning his dark eyes in my direction; he intently watched me his eyes burning holes into my skin while he patiently waited for the answer belonging to his question.

"No. I understand."

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed him nod to himself proud of the weak puppet he has sculpted me into.

"You know?" He started. "I kinda am getting bored of this whole new I don't care about anyone or anything attitude that you have adopted."

I ignore his words and blankly continue to walk towards the fighting grounds.

"I miss when you used to try and run despite failing every time, I miss being able to show you over and over again that there was no escape. Gosh-" He cut himself off with a deep chuckle. "I will tell you what I miss the most?"

Not waiting for responds from me he continued, "I miss that split-second where I would look into your frantic eyes after you steal the life away from your opponent. Your eyes said everything; you would exhibit remorse, then rage and then hopelessness all at once before you would scream in defeat and collapse to the floor in a crumbled nearly pitiful mess. Gosh, I miss that so much. Now you all-" He gestured to me, "Void and emotionless it's kinda not entertaining anymore if I can't see the hell I have tried so very hard to inflict on you."