My lover(sequel to My Host; namjin)

Namjoon

        I can't find him anywhere. I've searched for the last two hours and he won't answer his phone! I'm full on panicking now. He doesn't know New York well and anything could have happened to him! Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to go out alone? He's a very attractive man and there's all kinds of freaks out at night.
      I call Jimin and Yoongi but neither have seen or heard from him. Jimin calls his phone but it also goes to voicemail. I even get Hoseok and Mark out to help look for him but no one has seen him anywhere. I know Jin. Even mad at me-he's very responsible. He wouldn't go somewhere without at least telling Jimin when he'd be back and he told him he was going straight back to the hotel.
      Sitting back in my room with the others crowded in as well, there's nothing we can do right now but wait. He's an adult and we can't announce him missing for 24 hours. Until then we just have to pray he's safe and will be back soon. If he wanted revenge on me, he's certainly got it. Worry is etched on all of our faces as we try not to stare at the door or our phones.
       I don't know what to do with myself. I hate myself for my part in this. I shouldn't have pushed him, if I had just left him alone he would have came back with all of us! This is my fault. You're so stupid, Kim Namjoon. Why do you have to be you?
If something happens to him I'll never forgive myself. My best friend and fiancé of ten plus years. I'll die if I lose him. He's my everything.
"Jin is strong. I'm sure he's fine. Being stubborn somewhere." Jimin speaks up and I want to believe him, I really do, but there's a sinking feeling in my stomach that won't go away. Something is definitely wrong.
"This is all my fault. If I hadn't of upset him he would have stayed with us." I mutter in defeat. I feel a hand on my arm and look up to see Hoseok pull me into a hug.
"It's not your fault. Jin is an adult and can make his own choices. We'll find him. Maybe he just got lost. Maybe he decided to go exploring instead of back to the hotel and is trying to get back. Don't think the worst, alright?" I says comfortingly. I glance down at the floor and think about Jin's bright happy smile.
I haven't seen it in awhile. He doesn't seem happy to be in my presence anymore. Not like before. Maybe...this is a wake up call for me. Maybe when he returns I should let him go for his own happiness. He deserves it. He deserves everything and if I truly love him I'll take the hint and let him go.