Mistakes

Chapter4

Will he love me?

We don't know. We cannot teach our hearts. On Damon's part, I can't teach him to love me.

Will I just stop? Or will I continue chasing him? If I stop, I will still be hurt. If I continue it's still the same, I will still be hurt. Am I this hard to love? How can I be happy if he is my only happiness?

Why did I love someone like him? Maybe, I will get tired of the pain. That's probably it.

I will avoid him while I can.

I feel the pain of the sun on my skin while heading to the big HMU Court. It's afternoon and we need to practice volleyball. Wearing our usual PE uniform, color dark green with HMU brand on the front and number and surname on the back.

So, the stamp on my back is twenty-two, Cordova.

"I told you! You know that Damon is so crazy with Natalia. You're hurting yourself again."

Ruru preached to me.

But I remained silent because, in the beginning, I was wrong.

I rolled up my jersey shirt and combed my long hair.

"Don't worry, I'll stop," I said gently. For myself as well.

"Why? Do you have a choice?"

I want to cry again. I simply looked up to prevent my tears from falling.

For the sake of myself, I will avoid him.

That word I heard three days ago was like only yesterday. It seemed like a knife word that left a wound in my heart.

I was enlightened.

***

We heard the footsteps and the crash of the ball immediately heard as we entered the gate of the court. The varsity players, including Damon, immediately saw us.

But I didn't bother to turn around to look for him. I bent down while crossing the other bleachers to sit there with my other classmates.

"Zandria!" I looked behind when someone call me.

Yvone, one of my classmates.

She approached me and stepped aside. She was kind to me. She was also one of the tops in our room.

"Hey! Why?" I said and turned on my mineral water.

"My older brother asked for my favor. He found out that we're classmates."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Ah! What if... if you can, he'll be happy to date you. " She said in a shy tone.

Her brother Steven Delos Santos? He was a football player and was sometimes taken as a model by clothing brands.

"Oh really?" I don't know how to react. This is not the first time someone has invited me. Many times, already.

"Oh no! Tell your brother. It's okay. Zandria is NBSB! No boyfriend, very single and ready to mingle." It was Ruru who answered even though I hadn't thought about it yet.

Ruru's laughter disappeared when I looked at her badly.

"Oh! What now? Do you agree Zand?" Yvone asked again.

Maybe nothing will be lost if I accommodate, right? Nobody gets angry coz' I'm single. Maybe mom will get mad.

Another one I also need to enjoy is the youth of my age.

I nodded. "Ah, all right."

"Yes!" Ruru shouted.

Yvone laughed.

"Ay! Thank you! I know my brother will be happy with it. You are his long-time right crush!"

Yvone took my cellphone number so she could text me when her older brother and I would have a date.

After practice, we went to the locker to shower and get dressed.

"When did you date Steven, Zand?" Ruru asked as I got out of the shower. We have other colleagues here who are all women and dress up.

"I think he'll text me about it," I said drying my hair.

I was wearing a white V-neck shirt and rag shorts that went over the pocket. I paired that with black slip-on shoes.

"Good, so you can forget Damon."

She stood up and looked at her wristwatch.

"Gosh! I'll be going Zands huh? I still have some way to go."

"Okay."

After she left, I carried my shoulder bag with only a few notebooks and my PE uniform.

My hair was wet as the wind blew when I came out. There are no more students because they probably have gone home or hung out at Starbucks or Mc'do outside.

As I was passing the men's locker I was almost sneering as I bumped into a chair on which was sitting a man I was avoiding.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

He didn't say a word. He just looked at me like I was a puzzle to him. That he seemed to be reading my mind, that seemed to penetrate to my soul.

"Did you agree to date Steven?"

How did he know? Did he hear when we were in the court?

"Huh?" I cleared my throat. "Yeah, there's nothing wrong. Besides, it's just a friendly date. "

"Friendly date? He's hitting on you." What about him now? What's he doing? After he said that? What did he think of me?

"I won't answer. One more thing, I'm free to do what I want. So, we'll date. He's single and I'm single so it's okay. " I replied to him as he calmed down. Because I hit a nerve.

"I didn't say I had care." He said firmly and his gaze deepened on me.

I sighed at what he said.

Alright, he doesn't have to care anymore. Even if I get hurt, he doesn't have a care. Even now that I'm hurt. I swallowed and bowed to realize it.

"I'm sorry. I'm leaving."

I was about to leave but, he pulled my wrist.

"Do you like him?" Why did he ask that question?

I looked at him confused until he got up from the chair and approached me. His hand remained on my wrist.

"Do you like him?" He asked again and tightened his grip on my wrist.

Why is he like this now?

"N-no," I replied. He grabbed me and, in a flash, he claimed my lips again.