babysitter g.d

fourteen : i trust you

cameron. he's the guy who made me have feelings for him. he's the guy who once managed to capture my heart. he's the guy who once made me smile. he's the guy who once made me laugh. he's the guy who made me cry. he's the guy who did something bad to me. most importantly, he's the guy who broke my heart into pieces.

to say that i'm not disappointed by his actions is an understatement. i thought he can be the guy that i'm going to marry in the future. but it all turns out to be a lie. he just had to play with my heart. his girlfriend is pregnant with his child.

all i do now is sit in grayson's guest room and cry. it has been two weeks since benson and i were discharged from the hospital. it hurts me so much to even think about it. i want to forget it all. benson and grayson often come in to check on me. all i did was stay quiet.

since cameron is already in jail, i know i don't need to worry about him right now. grayson asked the doctor to check me after he found out i was raped. but doctors say that they wouldn't be able to prove that i was raped.

grayson was so mad that he started throwing a fit in the hospital. i just sat there in tears and fear, muting grayson's shouts at the doctors. benson, on the other hand, just watched his cartoon on grayson's phone since grayson told him not to listen to what he talks to me. benson happily nodded his head.

i'm tired. tired of everything. i want to be able to feel like how i was last time. happy, bright and fun. i want the old me back. however, i know i can't.

after whatever happened with cameron, i felt so scared. i'm scared of having feelings for someone and that someone is going to do bad things to me. i only wanted the person to love me the way i am. accept me. and trust me so that i can trust him.

i want to be able to feel loved again. i always felt love with grayson, never with cameron. he's been taking care of me for the past two weeks. he sacrificed his work for me. he cooked breakfast for me. he made homemade juice for me. he made tea for me when i felt sad. his tea somehow helped me forget some things.

to be very honest, i didn't think that grayson would put me first before his work. but yes, he stayed home and looked after benson and me. i'm thankful that he's trying to help but he shouldn't put me before his work. it makes me feel guilty that he's missing work just because of me.

i heard someone knocking on the door and soon, the door opened. grayson came walking in with benson in his arms. benson's playing with grayson's phone. maybe grayson wants to talk to me, i thought to myself.

he placed benson down on the bed before sitting down on the empty space next to me.

"you're not going to sleep yet?" grayson asked me, his hands touching mine.

"n-no.. i'm s-scared something will happen t-to me when i-i sleep. i don't w-want to sleep." i stuttered, looking at him through blurred vision.

"you're okay, reffda. you don't have to be scared. cameron's not going to come back anymore, okay? when i went to the court just now, i told the judge everything that happened to you. all the details of what he did to you. when he didn't want to admit that he did that to you, the policemen who were there at the place they found you saw what he did. there were witnesses. cameron is now in jail and won't be coming out anytime soon. so, please don't be afraid, alright, baby?" grayson asked, squeezing my hand that was in his.

i nodded my head as tears sprung out from my eyes. i'm happy and grateful that cameron is no longer free. he's caught. he can't do anything. grayson gave me a small smile before pulling me into his laps. i wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my head in his neck.