Today was one of those random days that felt off in some way. It could've been because I got a decent amount of sleep the night before or because Ana was hanging out at the house since Jack was away on a business trip that she didn't really care to join him on. To say the least, things were tense with Ana in the house. Xander wasn't cracking his usual inappropriate jokes and I wasn't able to stay in bed past ten in the morning because there were things to do apparently. By things, I think Ana meant, sit around and watch horrible soap opera reruns with her since she felt so lonely away from her husband.
We sat lazily in the movie room, munching away on unhealthy snacks. Every so often Xander would let out a long sigh and shift his position in his chair, annoyed at how Ana didn't know how to solely watch TV. Watching TV with Ana, came with hearing her talk about whatever came to mind. No one could find the right words to kindly tell Ana to shut up.
"Hey Ana." I spoke up. "Maybe we should all take a nap? The snacks are kind of making me tired."
"I slept perfectly fine last night, so there's no need for a nap." She scoffed.
"Talia is right." Xander backed me up. "A nap sounds nice right now."
But Ana dismissed what Xander and I said, and kept her conversation going. "But when we were in Paris, I really wanted to try th-"
"Ana, shut up." Xander turned to us, his cheeks growing a darker shade of scarlet. "Just shut up."
Ana looked at Xander with disbelief and hurt. I knew she was wondering why neither of us cared to hear about her honeymoon, but it was annoying to hear the same stories five times in a row. It was cool she was happy, but she needed to shut up.
"You have to learn how to just shut up, sis." Xander started. "Like, sit in silence for a change and just watch fucking TV. It won't hurt."
"In any case, I'd rather talk your ears off than be an emotionless freak like T." Ana snapped back without missing a beat.
Where did that even come from? I knew how my sister could be. I knew how she had many vicious and petty bones in her body, but what did her remark have to do with anything we were talking about? Was I just an easy target?
I turned to Xander, looking to him to back me up like he usually would, but he was in shock too.
"Talia, I di-"
I held my hand up in Ana's direction, "Save it."
"Good job, Ana." Xander congratulated with a hint of sarcasm, even is applause were sarcastic.
"Talia, seriously. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. You know what I meant." Her voice was loaded with desperation as she tried to find the right way to get left off this time without someone ripping her head off.
"No Ana, I don't know what you meant." I hopped off the couch and grabbed my cell phone. "If you guys need me don't bother calling me or looking for me."
"Talia..."
"Take Xander's advice and just shut up. You never think before you speak." I stormed out of the room as quickly as I could. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes, my sketchbook, and my purse before heading out of the house with my mom's car keys. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I'd be happy with wherever I ended up. Far away from Ana. The three of us rarely argued, but when we did, it was instigated by Ana. Luke always said Ana only argued with us because she was the oldest and thought she could get away with it. Jack and Ben were the same with Luke, just not as bad.
I hated LA. Everything that had to do with it, but for some reason I sat in the middle of downtown LA at Loit Café, sipping on an iced coffee as I sketched away to make me feel better. I wanted the sketches to be my getaway, my medicine, instead of feeling as if I could only turn to cigarettes or being moody.
I just lost myself in the moment. I could hear people around me, but it was like I was the only person in the café. No one sat by me, no one stood over me hoping to have a conversation with me, I was just there. Alone. I loved it. Maybe this was my first taste of what life in New York would be like. There were students around me studying with their earphones in, other people were with friends or significant others chatting lowly and nibbling on pastries.
I checked my phone for the first time, I had only spent an hour at the café. Maybe in two hours I'd make my return home, but for now the café was going to be my home. My lips turned into a half smiles when I noticed my phone's lock screen was empty. My siblings knew better than to reach out to me if I was upset. And Luke and Ashton were doing tour rehearsal all day.
"You're kinda famous these days, Talia." I jumped at the random voice. My eyes trailed up the body until I made eye contact with Ashton. He was the last person I thought I'd see, but he was sure a wonderful surprise. Anyone would be blessed to be surprised with his presence.
"How did you know I was here?" I questioned him.
He sat across from me, chuckling at me as if I was extremely naïve. And I was naïve.
"It's all over Twitter." Figures. "My fans are your fans now, I guess?"
Not really though. I was just a normal girl, doing something normal. I loved the 5SOS Fam a lot, but I couldn't understand why my whereabouts were important enough to tweet about. How was it newsworthy? How were people even able to recognize me?
"Right."
"What are you doing here?" I watched Ashton slide my iced coffee towards himself then take a sip.
"I needed some space from my family." I shrugged, tapping my pencil anxiously atop my sketch. "I just drove until I landed somewhere. So here I am."
Ashton's hand rested on top of my own that held the pencil to instantly relax the nerves. He shared a soft smile with me. "Understandable. I get that way with the guys sometimes."
"Rehearsal end early?"
"Yeah, there wasn't much else to do once we played the set five times perfectly."
I couldn't relate to being so perfect to the four of them. I couldn't think of a time where I ever did something perfectly and continued to nail it ever single time. I still struggled with my sketches, I always found imperfections and things I hated about them. I was never pleased.
"That girl wanted to see Luke too." Ashton added with annoyance. "He was quick to run off to be with her."
"That's sad." I scrunched my nose. I tried to be as nice as possible since I didn't know anyone else's thoughts on Arina. I didn't want to make anyone mad by saying I straight up thought she was a bitch that acted way to sketch for her own good.
"What did you think about her?" Ashton took another sip of my coffee.
I noticed a few people were beginning to gather around the café window outside and wave in our direction. They all had their phones out probably adding this moment to Twitter as well.
"There was something very, very weird about her. I can't put my finger on it." I lied. I knew it was the way she was dressed as if she was going to the club while she was really in the studio. It was the way she kept disappearing to the bathroom and kept rubbing her nose and sniffling. It was the way she was extremely touchy with Luke even though he said they had only known each other for a week. It was all of that and then some more.
'She rubbed me the wrong way too." Ashton nodded slowly as he thought about what I had said to him. "But hey, I'll let Luke learn on his own."
I agreed. Luke let me learn with Dick, now it was Luke's turn to learn with Arina. I wasn't going to overstep any boundaries and I didn't think Ashton was going to either.
