A month later.
The only light illuminating the area of the beach was the full moon. It was nearly romantic in a way; seeing Ashton's features highlighted by the moon. His pupils dilated, causing his normal bright eyes to appear one of the most gorgeous shades of brown. There was a slight gust of wind that would brush his hair back off his forehead, revealing more of his features that he probably attempted to cover. I loved to see him like this; casual, calm, and candid. I rested my palms behind, putting my weight on them as I took in the moment, hoping to remembering every second and movement that was happening.
Neither of us had spoken since we got comfortable out here. We did the cliche movie and dinner thing and decided to end things off on the beach since the weather was warming up. It was a rather lovely date. I loved how simple, yet fun it was to me. Sure, it was hard doing something without people trying to snap sly photos of us, but we made it work in true Ashton and Talia fashion. We figured it all out.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Talia." He spoke softly. I had no desire to speak. I only desired to stay in this heart of silence forever, but I could not leave Ashton hanging. I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. I sighed. I needed to think more before I replied back to him. I didn't want to ruin the moment.
"That's reassuring." I closed my eyes and breathed in the moment. I wanted to crack a smile, but I wouldn't let it come out. Something about a smile seemed so inappropriate for the moment. I could've been wrong. I just wanted to stay serious though.
"Xander's a smart guy. He doesn't get enough credit for his intelligence."
Xander might believe he was some sort of philosophical hero these days. He was going around, preaching random pieces of advice like he had lived through it all. Really, Xander didn't have that much more experience than myself. He just watched a lot of television and thought he had figured out every life skill.
"His teen years convince people otherwise." I joked.
Up until six months ago, I would not have bothered taking Xander's advice into consideration, as the advice would have been something along the lines of, "just send each other nudes and everything will be okay". or "Blow jobs fix everything." Sofia turned him into a psychologist at best, it was cute to see the impact Sofia had had on Xander.
Ashton and I got quiet again. I loved the moments where we could sit in silence with each other and we didn't have to wonder if the other was mad or not. It was comfortable and calming. I knew him in such a way that no one else knew him, and he knew me in a such a way I would never let anyone else know me. I kept myself so guarded until I met Ashton, it was relief to finally have someone other than Luke really know me. And I trusted Ashton with the way he knew me. I knew he couldn't hurt me even if he tried. He couldn't hurt anyone.
"I'm going to just put this out there..." Ashton turned towards me. "We're in Malibu, one of the most beautiful places, so anything goes, right?"
I suppose.
"I like you, Talia. It's scary how much I like you. This was never the plan, but dammit Talia, you have me whipped. That I will admit." He paused. "And you can go tell whoever you want, that I'm whipped because I think it's a good thing. I want everyone to know. I like you and that's all that matters. I've never cared about someone the way I care about you. And I feel like everything I've gone through, all the bad shit, all the good stuff, everything has led up to me meeting you and me being happy."
"Do you really feel that way?" I asked him. I was hesitant to believe him even though we had been doing this little situation for so long. It wasn't necessarily talking, it wasn't necessarily dating. I didn't know what to label it as.
He nodded his head and smiled. His smile so infectious, I smiled in return.
"You're crazy."
"I know." He playfully groaned, gently hitting my shoulder with his own. "I'm in a band with a bunch of idiots. I think I know I'm at least a little bizarre!"
"A little?"
"A lot, actually." He corrected.
"I feel the same way about you, otherwise this would be pretty awkward if I didn't. I would probably be a wreck if you didn't feel the same way about me." I chuckled. "I like what we have. It's safe, it's nice. It makes me happy. I know I can count on you and you can count on me. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else."
I didn't know what it was to worry or overthink with Ashton. I liked that. In fact, the only time I felt normal was when I was with him. I hated to be that girl, but it was true.
Time stopped when our lips collided gently. I didn't know what this kiss was signifying or sealing, but I accepted it and kissed him back. All of our emotions for each other stirring together and creating an even grander feeling to top off the night perfectly. His fingers tangled in my hair as he brought our lips closer together and I rested a hand on his neck, carefully scratching the bits of hair at the nape of his neck. The sound of crashing waves made the kiss all the more cinematic and perfect. Nothing could top this moment as of right now.
"Talia, it's not like I'm falling in love, I just want you to do me no good and you look like you could."
