Critical (Jamilton)

6. Alex, Please See a Psychiatrist

Jefferson

Thomas let the topic of Alex seeing a psychiatrist sit for a few days. Hamilton seemed to be acting normal around the Jefferson siblings and as far as Thomas knew, Alexander was sleeping through the nights. They usually fell asleep around the same time, and Jefferson figured he'd wake up if someone was moving next to him in the middle of the night, so it really wasn't that worrying. 

But of course, he still didn't exactly believe that Alex was one hundred percent fine, so he was watching whenever he could to make sure everything was going alright. So far, the only things that seemed off were when he'd avoid certain situations and topics. 

If a scene in a movie came on even semi-relating to prison, kidnappings, or most cases of death, Alexander was almost guaranteed to fast forward or leave the room. That didn't seem out of the ordinary, though, Jefferson figured that it was just an after-effect of the entire situation.

Storms didn't seem to bother him so much anymore though. Thomas noticed that instead of how he reacted way back when, Alex would only get uncomfortable with the sounds of thunder and rain. 

Thomas thought that everything was doing pretty alright given the circumstances. 

Boy, was he wrong. 

The night started slightly different from most other nights. Thomas was standing in front of the mirror, brushing his teeth. That much was normal. Every now and again, he'd look at the bed where Alexander was already fast asleep, curled under the bundle of blankets on the bed. Usually, Alex would be sitting awake for a little while with Thomas, but for whatever reason, he was asleep before the other man even went in. 

Jefferson didn't want to mess with him, so he tried to be as quiet as he physically could. After he was done brushing his teeth, he shut the water off and stood in the doorway for a second, hoping to let the fact that Alexander Hamilton was alive and back sink in so maybe it would stop surprising Thomas everytime Alex walked into a room. 

He didn't want to be surprised, he wanted to be stunned. He wanted to be like those stereotypical straight couples that would just stare for a second when the other walked in because they're just so beautiful that it was hard not to. So, like, he wanted that, but gay. 

Thomas sighed and turned off the light before getting as comfortable as he could around Hamilton, but since the sleeping man was already in the middle of the bed, the awake one was practically falling off. 

Jefferson didn't take long to start falling asleep, especially since it was probably a little later than he was used to, but before he could, Alex started muttering in his sleep. Thomas sat up and let his curiosity take over as he tried to listen to the muttering. 

He couldn't decipher anything though because it only lasted a few seconds before Hamilton was restlessly turning over. Thomas was going to wake him up but he didn't have the chance. Alex woke up on his own and immediately covered his mouth. He didn't seem to realize Thomas was awake. 

"Alex?" Jefferson whispered softly. 

Despite his efforts to be calm and quiet, Alexander jumped so far that he fell off the bed. Thomas moved in front of him. 

"Get away from me!" Hamilton screeched. "Stay the fuck away from me!" 

Thomas hurried toward the bathroom and turned on the light so Alexander could actually see him. 

"Lex, it's just me, okay? You're safe," Jefferson murmured.

Alex stayed quiet for a second and tried to steady his own breathing. Eventually, he let Thomas sit next to him on the floor without scooting away. 

"Something happened while you were gone," Thomas pointed out. "You don't have to say it right now, obviously, but I want you to see a psychiatrist." 

"No thanks." 

"Why not?" 

"I don't need one." 

"Really? You just screamed at me to stay away from you like I was going to kill you after having a nightmare apparently so bad that you fell off the bed." 

Hamilton stayed quiet. 

"You were gone for years and it's a miracle that you're not insane right now, but I don't want you holding all that inside you like it's going to push people away. Please just talk to someone." 

"I don't need to talk to a stranger, I can just talk to you." 

Thomas shook his head but he wasn't sure if Alex could see it. "You don't talk to me, though, and you need someone that knows what they're doing!" 

"No. I'm not talking to a stranger about my fucked-up head, especially not one getting paid by the hour to care."

"Fine, no strangers, but Peggy's been studying. At least talk to her?" Jefferson suggested. "I can take you over there tomorrow, you can talk to someone that knows more than I do, she's not a stranger. . . Please?" 

"Thomas--" 

"Alexander, listen. If I let you just sit with all that in your head, who knows what's going to happen. I had to deal with the fact that you were dead and now I have you back, I don't want to lose you again. So please if you can't go talk to her to help yourself, do it to help me find some sort of comfort because I am not just going to sit here and watch you suffer by yourself."

Alex was quiet again for a few seconds before finally muttering, "Fine, I'll talk to Peggy."

"Thank you,"  Thomas sighed as he stood up, holding a hand out to help Hamilton. "Now, what do you want to do? Movies or go back to sleep." 

"Movies, definitely," Ham said immediately. 

Thomas smiled and kissed the top of his head. "You got it."