Critical (Jamilton)

11.Cold Hands: The Ultimate Wea-- O He Dead

Jefferson

Thomas woke up the next day to Alexander looking smug as ever. 

"What's got you so happy, we barely slept last night," Thomas groaned. Admittedly, he was genuinely confused because Alex really wasn't ever a morning person. 

"Oh, nothing," the other man hummed. "I say we go over to Eliza's today, though. Grab some hot cocoa, hang out with Pip, watch some movies. . ." 

"What if I don't want to do anything today?" 

"Then I have no choice but to use my secret weapon." 

"And what would that be? A kiss?" Thomas puckered his lips dramatically. 

"Nope." Ham put his freezing hands under Jefferson's shirt, laughing when he fell off the bed with a loud screech. "Ooh, you're warm." 

And that's the story of how their day started with Alex chasing Thomas around the house with his freezing hand outstretched and ready to chill anything they touched. Hamilton was yelling that Jefferson was "so warm", while Jefferson was screaming that Hamilton "had better stay away with those cold as hell hands".

"Jokes on you, Hell's supposed to be hot!"

"I am not arguing religion, I'm trying to stay warm!" Thomas ducked under Mary's arms and hid behind her as she tried to make french toast.

"What are you two knuckleheads doing?" She laughed. 

"I'm trying to warm up my freezing hands because that guy keeps the room at arctic temperatures at night!" 

"I'm trying to get away from that monster!" 

Mary looked at the two of them, then scrunched her fingers like she was feeling her own finger temperature. She seemed satisfied with how they felt and quickly turned around, squishing her brother's face in her hands. 

"Ha! She takes my side!" Alex cheered, resuming the chase with Mary. 

"Come on, Mary! We talked about this!" Thomas tried reasoning as he stood behind a chair, jumping in both directions to throw her off. "Side with your favorite brother!" 

"I am," the woman said with a shrug. "He's my future brother-in-law, I gotta re-welcome him into the family." 

Thomas groaned, finally jumping to one side. Mary jumped in front of him and Alex jumped behind, blocking the only exits he had and trapping him with two doofuses with freezing cold hands. He sighed and accepted his fate, standing up straighter and closing his eyes with the anticipation. 

Ham jumped forward and put his hands back inside Thomas's shirt while re-grabbed his face. The oldest Jefferson brother fell to the ground, dramatically yelling about how they killed him and now he was turning into an ice monster. 

"Tell my boyfriend. . ." He started, taking a second to exaggerate his death scene by raising his hand to the ceiling. "This is all his fault. Bleh." 

"Oh please," Mary laughed as she went to go finish her french toast. 

"Come on, get up," Ham said. He offered his hand to help Thomas up. 

"No, I'm dead." 

Alex rolled his eyes. "My cold hands did not kill you, asshole." 

"They did and I'm dead." 

Hamilton shrugged and just walked away, leaving Thomas laying on the ground. He watched quietly as Alex pushed himself on the counter to talk with Mary as she cooked. Thomas loved how his sister said "future brother-in-law" like it was nothing. Hell, maybe it was nothing and all they needed was one more traumatic, near-death experience to give them a push. 

Still sticking to his 'being dead' thing, Thomas pushed himself along the floor using his feet. He stopped where Hamilton was sitting. After having a thirty-second laughing fit, which Thomas adored, Alex finally asked what the actual hell he was doing.

 "Being dead, I told you," Thomas answered.

"Well, that really sucks, Tommy, cause I just finished your favorite breakfast," Mary hummed. She shrugged and carried it over to the table. "Care to help me eat to his memory, Alex?"

"It would be my pleasure." He sat down with Mary and pretended to be a widow as he shoved his mouth full of toast.

Finally, Thomas gave up on being dead and joined his boyfriend and sister in eating french toast until he and Ham left for the store and Eliza's house. While they were in the car, the two sang every song that came on the radio, each taking over specific parts if there was more than one singer. It was basically a car jamming session. 

It wasn't until they got into the store that they realized they were still in their pajamas. They definitely got some weird looks and Thomas couldn't tell if it was because they were just a couple of gays walking around the store with handfuls of after-Christmas-sale candy canes and hot cocoa, because they were in their jammies, or both. Frankly, he didn't care, he just wanted to get his shit and get out.

By the time they got their stuff and arrived at Eliza's, it was midafternoon. As soon as she opened the door, the two were inside building a blanket fort with an overly-excited Philip. They were all equally excited to spend the rest of the day watching movies with cocoa and mint candy canes while Eliza worked on something in her room.

Somewhere around four movies in, Philip fell asleep on one of Thomas's shoulders, leaving Alex to get comfortable on the other. 

"So," Thomas prompted quietly. "favorite character so far?"

"That tree is my boy."

"You mean Groot?"

"I mean Groot."

Thomas snickered. "The classic favorite."

"What can I say? I'm a man of simple favorites," Alex yawned. "Finish tomorrow?"

"You're the one that wanted to come!" 

"Yeah, now I'm tired shut up and let me sleep." 

Jefferson rolled his eyes and absentmindedly ran his hand through Alexander's hair as he fell asleep. Granted, it wasn't the most comfortable position for Thomas, he had his two favorite people asleep and using him as a pillow. He wasn't about to move for anything.

He watched the movie until it finally ended, then he started the second and fell asleep himself around halfway through.