Critical (Jamilton)

7. Alexander At The Psychiatrist, A Mini Opera

Hamilton

Alexander sat anxiously in the other room while Thomas went to call Peggy. He was hoping that if he just pretended like nothing happened the night before, he'd be able to get out of going to talk to the youngest of the oldest Schuylers. Apparently, Thomas was really set on sending Alex to talk about his problems to someone. 

Hamilton didn't even see why it's not like he'd never had a nightmare before. Nightmares were far from unusual with him and he knew how to handle them on his own, which is exactly the point that he brought up when Thomas came back in the room. 

"You're going because you thought I was whoever took you," Thomas explained. "And you refuse to talk to a stranger that's, and I quote, 'being paid to care', so Peggy agreed to talk to you." 

"It was dark! Am I not allowed to mistake people in the dark?" 

"You told me to stay away from you." 

"I was half asleep." 

"Alex, it's not that you did it that bothers me, what bothers me is that that just means that they hurt you enough for you to not want them near you." 

"Yeah, they kept me away from pretty much everything that I loved for six years, excuse me for not being enthusiastic at the thought of going back," Ham spat. He couldn't help but glare at Thomas as they talked, hating most of the things that he was saying. 

Jefferson sighed, "Look, I need to go to work today, so I'll just drop you off before and pick you up after--" 

"I'm not a child!" 

"Really, cause you're sure acting like one!" 

Alexander was going to say something else, but Thomas held up his hand to tell him to shut up. 

"I'm not going to make you go, alright? I'm not going to break up with you if you don't, but I want you to really think, not think of how you can prove me wrong, but really think about if this is what you need. I get that you don't want to go, but that doesn't matter. I don't know what happened in those years, you do, and I need you to decide if that's something that you need to talk about or not. Now, I am going down to breakfast before I have to leave, you have until I do leave to have an answer, okay?" 

Alex nodded as Thomas walked out of the room. As soon as he was gone, Alexander rolled his eyes and muttered 'pompous douchebag' to himself. He sighed and flopped down on the bed, tossing each option around in his head like a circus juggler. 

He could do Thomas a favor and go talk about his problems with Peggy, or he could just try to handle all of the shit inside his brain by himself. Talk about his problems, or drive himself crazy trying to forget them. Make Thomas happy, or keep waking up in the dead of night thinking he's King.

After the last thought, his decision seemed obvious. 

"Okay," Thomas said, pulling to stop in front of a small house. "I'll see you after I'm done, but if you want to go back early, just tell Pegs. Don't go by yourself, please?"

"I know." 

"And don't hesitate to ask if you need something--"

"Thomas, you seriously need to stop treating me like I'm five." 

Jefferson rolled his eyes and used a stereotypical, over-protective mom voice. "Well, I packed you a juice box, in case you get thirsty, and a change of undies too! I know how you get after apple juice--"