Critical (Jamilton)

9. Be Happy For Papa John's Pizza

Jefferson

Thomas and Alexander waved as they left the house. Philip was already starting to walk ahead, so they didn't have time to explain that Alex wasn't a new son to adopt. The Washingtons probably wouldn't have listened anyway, Thomas knew that much. He was about to walk away with Hamilton, but he felt someone grab his arm from the door. He waved Alexander ahead. 

As soon as he was far enough away to not be able to hear the conversation, George whispered, "What happened to him?"

"What do you mean?" Thomas asked, playing the clueless card. The old man had sort of a sixth sense when it came to mental issues, so Jefferson knew it wasn't going to work, but anything was worth a try if Alex wasn't ready to share what happened. 

"You've never mentioned anyone special for longer than a month, he said you've known each other for six years. It doesn't add up and I've had enough firsthand experiences to know that that kid has been through something." Something seemed to click in George's head. "Is that the one that you thought was. . . ?"

He didn't finish the question, and he didn't have to. Jefferson completely forgot that he'd told Washington about Hamilton being dead. The first anniversary of Alex being officially declared dead wasn't exactly easy on Thomas, so it showed in his work. George noticed and, by then he'd already unofficially adopted Jefferson, called Thomas into his office to discuss what was happening. 

Thomas was relieved to know that part of it was because of holes in his story rather than the slightly creepy sixth sense. 

He nodded. "Yeah, he is." He looked ahead where his boyfriend was standing impatiently with Philip trying to pull him ahead. "Pretty great, right? I mean, we all thought he was dead and now there he is. Alive and obnoxious as ever."

Thomas turned back to George. "I'm not crazy right? He's actually standing there and the grief didn't just drive me insane?" 

Washington smiled in a way that made Jefferson believe that he really was talking to his dad. 

"No, you're not insane, just lovestruck and lucky." George lightly pushed Thomas to tell him that the talk was over. "Now go be crazy kids and do whatever it is you spoiled shitheads do." 

Thomas laughed as he ran to catch up to Alex. 

The two dropped Philip off at his own home, staying for a second to chat with Eliza, before going back home. When they went inside, Jane and Mary were putting their shoes on the younger kids were nowhere to be found. 

"Where're you two going?" Thomas asked his sisters. 

"Store," Jane answered. "You need anything?" 

"Coffee," Hamilton said with no hesitation. 

"Oh yeah, we're out of that," Thomas agreed. 

Jane nodded. "Everyone's at a friend's house for the weekend, by the way. The twins got invited to a birthday party slumber party thing, and Lucy's staying the night with one of her friends." 

"Yup, it's just us big people for the next couple days! You know what that means!" 

"Mom movies and gossip?" Alexander asked semi-hopefully. 

"Alex knows what's up!" Mary gave him a pretty powerful high five and laughed. 

They left the house and left the two alone for maybe an hour or two. 

"So, what d'ya wanna do?" Alex said after a second.

"We could be sappy and talk?" Jefferson suggested.

"We do talk, Thomas," Ham said, already getting annoyed. 

"I don't want to pester you about whatever happened. You're doing way better and you're talking to Peggy, so, for now, I'll leave it alone. I mean just talk about anything. You know, those useless conversations that force you to get to know more about something." 

Hamilton thought it over for a second before shrugging. "Fine, let's talk then."

The two talked for who knows how long. Most of the topics were about things that happened in Jefferson's life while Hamilton was gone or stupid conspiracy theories that seemed kind of believable if you didn't think about them too hard. Like aliens. Thomas purposefully avoided any topic that might upset Alex, not because he didn't want to know about any of that, but because for the first time since he'd gotten back, Jefferson didn't see him as something that needed to be protected. 

Actually, when Thomas looked at Alexander, it was nothing even changed. He had no doubt that if he closed his eyes, he'd feel like he was back in the dorm room with Alex, or he'd feel like it was another day that he was being rudely woken up to go to the Hip Stir to bother John while he was on shift. 

"Hey," Thomas laughed, throwing out his rule of avoiding the past. "Do you remember back in college before all that shit went down when you had a legitimate caffeine addiction?" 

To his surprise, Hamilton laughed too. "Had? Tommy, that has not changed, I would leave you for coffee in a heartbeat." 

"I bet," Thomas laughed again. Suddenly, their talk became just reminiscing. 

"Remember when we had to take Lucy, Randy, and Anna to go pick out a Christmas tree?" Alex asked. 

"Because Mary wanted us to talk out the tension between us," they said at the same time, laughing when they were finished. 

"What about that week where we eat nothing but delivery pizza because neither of us wanted to cook anything?" 

"Yeah, that was when we were visiting my mom, I think," Hamilton laughed weakly. Then his face twisted like he just realized something. "Holy shit, I know a lot of dead people." 

Thomas sat up from where he was laying on the bed. "Hey, come on--"

"No no, I don't mean that in a depressing way, like I really do know a lot of dead people. Mom, Peter, Samuel, John. . ." he sighed. "I miss John." 

Of all the people that he listed, Thomas was surprised to hear that he missed John. It made sense, sure, they were best friends, but still. He put his blood family on the list and he said that he missed John. 

"Why John?"

"I knew my mom was going to die. And yeah, I regret not looking at all the signs with Peter, and I wasn't exactly close to Samuel. . . But Laurens really didn't have any warning or anything, he just went. There weren't any signs, no obvious sickness, and I was close to him." Hamilton shrugged like it didn't bother him too much, but Thomas saw through that. "I miss John." 

"Yeah, I guess I do too. I was a total dick to him and I'm pretty sure that I never apologized for that." It was Thomas's turn to sigh. "But, I know that he would be beyond uncomfortable with us sitting here talking about how much we miss him." 

Alexander nodded. "Can we just think about it for one more second? Just to get it out of our systems?" 

Thomas nodded and went back to laying down. They sat in silence for fifteen seconds before Alex joined Thomas in laying down. They were almost asleep when he said one last thing. 

"Oh yeah," Ham started. "Who's Philip's real dad?" 

"Doesn't have one. Eliza adopted him not too long after everything went down, I think when he was two so. . . Yeah, actually he would have been born around the time that everything ended, so two years after."

Hamilton made a noise of acknowledgment but Thomas figured he fell asleep because he didn't say anything else for the rest of the night.