Darkness Rises & Light To Meet It

What I Know To Be True

Ren removed the layers of black fabric from his upper body. There was no day or night in the emptiness of space but he needed to refresh himself after the last encounter with the scavenger Rey.

As he removed the last layer he felt briefly like his old self. Ren looked at the wall in front of him and closed his eyes and breathed. He needed anger. Anger lead to hate and hate lead to the dark side. That would snuff out the pull to the other side. The longer his eyes were closed the clearer the image of his father came into view and then the look on his face as the saber sliced through him. He opened his eyes and as he did there was that pull again.

"I'd rather not do this now." Rey's annoyed voice came from behind him. Their force connection must be getting stronger with each visit. It had not been that long since their last connection.

Ben sighed deeply, "Yeah me too." This connection could not have come at a more inconvenient time. He needed to be alone.

"Why did you hate your father?" Rey's voice cut out at the end trying to mask the pain that was surely welling up inside her.

Ben turned around and looked at her, face blank. She finished turning at the same time taking one good look at him before turning around and covering her eyes. "Do you have something? A towel...or...or something you can put on?"

He was not naked but by her reaction you would think as much. Ben just stood there waiting for her to continue. He was not going through the process of redressing to save her innocent eyes from his bare chest.

Turning to face him yet again she sighed heavily, obviously his none response to her request vexed her greatly. Something inside him liked that. She was obviously flustered. "Why did you hate your father?" She repeated the question and he gave no response. He was not going to talk about his father.

"Give me an honest answer!" At this hot tears started to well in her eyes.

Still no response. He just stared at her waiting for her to vent her frustration.

"You had a father who loved you! Who gave a damn about you!"

There it was. The tears that had been resting in her eyes stumbled down her face. Tracing misshapen lines to her chin.

"I didn't hate him." He said quickly. Ben never hated his father. Despite feelings of abandonment from his youth. He never hated Han he only hated that he was never around.

"Then why-" She could not finish choking on her tears. Ben took five slow steps towards her.

"Why what?"

Rey did not respond. She knew what she wanted to say but she could not get the words out through the pain.

"Why what? Say it."

"Why did you-" Gasping she struggled to get control of herself. "Why did you kill him? I don't understand." Her voice broke as the words finally poured out of her.

"No? Your parents threw you away like garbage." She would not understand his motives then he would make her understand with a truth they both knew. He had seen it in her mind.

"They didn't!" She was still crying but a hint of anger came with this comment. Or was it merely self assurance?

"They did." Ben took two more steps never taking his eyes off of her. "But you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo. Now in Luke Skywalker." He paused but she did not deny any of it, at least not aloud. "Did he tell you what happened that night?"

"Yes."

She was seething again.

Luke would never be completely honest about that night. It cast too dark a light on the last Jedi's image. "No. He had sensed my powers. As he senses yours and he feared it." Ben told her everything. How he had trained with Luke, looked up to him, only to wake with his green lightsaber over his face while he slept! His uncle was going to murder him while he was defenseless and for what? For being strong with the force? For excelling in his training? Ben had strictly acted out of self defense and this action had left him no choice but to leave.

"Liar..." If she had tried harder he suspected she might have convinced a fly that he was a liar. He would never lie to her. Not to her.

Two more steps and he could almost touch her. Ren did not take kindly to being called dishonest, especially by her. "Let the past die." His eyes locked into hers, he could feel her emotion within himself and his eyes started to water but he kept them in. "Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you're meant to be."

Then. The pull was gone and she vanished leaving him with his thoughts.