Darkness Rises & Light To Meet It

Taken

Ben had been awake for hours, Rey was curled up in his arms, her body pressed up against his. He hadn't dared move for fear of ending the moment. Lingering in it as long as possible, before anyone had a chance to regret and run away.

Their night was spent getting to know each other. Really know each other and not just physically, though that of course was something he never imagined would actually happen, but emotionally. Being that vulnerable and open to one another caused them to delve into deep discussions about everything. Life on Jakku, struggling to survive under Plutt, fighting with other scavengers, counting the days waiting for parents who would never come, hope that she had finally found a family with Han, training with Luke, disappointment when Luke refused to come to his aid, and what came after the events in the throne room. Everything he had done to her. How he made her feel. The evil masked figure Kylo Ren. Jedi killer. Destroyer of lives and happiness. He told her everything. It spilled out of him like a toppled drink its contents rushing out and onto the floor.

His childhood. Memories of his father and mother. Lando. How he yearned to be better. To be the best pilot the galaxy had ever seen. He told her of his parents fights, Han's absence along with Leia's. His feelings of betrayal and abandonment when he was shipped off to Luke to be fixed. Confirmation that he was broken, something was definitely wrong with him and his parents didn't want to deal with it anymore.

He knew better now, of course, they were desperate to help him but that didn't change how the young Ben Solo had felt.

His trust in Luke and final betrayal of his uncle choosing to end his life. Fleeing to Snoke.

The years of manipulation and lies that Snoke had planted and insisted upon repeating in his mind day after day, night after night. The lack of sleep. The nightmares that filled his head when sleep did come.

All of his regrets. His short comings. He gave them all to her. Rey just listened patiently letting him get everything off his chest just as she had. By the end of it Ben felt like a bone crushing weight had been lifted off of his chest allowing him to breath for the first time in... well forever.

He traced the curves of Rey's shoulder and side just barely grazing the tips of his fingers over her form.

You're too good for me sunshine.

Ben knew he didn't deserve any of this. He deserved to be dead for all he had done and the sorrow he had caused the entire galaxy. But with this second chance he found himself living he knew one thing, he needed to end all of it. Bring the First Order not to its knees as the rebels had done to the empire but to complete destruction. So that there was nothing and no one left to bring it back to life.

An impossible task, but he had to do it, and what did his father always say about seemingly impossible tasks? "Never tell me the odds kid." Han's voice spoke clear as day in his mind. He needed to end things once and for all or they would never be safe.

Rey rolled over, sleep glazed eyes flickering open. "Good morning." She took her right hand and brushed the hair from his face, cheeks lightly flushed.

"Morning sweetheart." He lightly kissed the bridge of her nose. "Sleep well?"

She nodded and pressed into him. "Last night was..."

Wonderful.

"Mmmhm."

His hands massaged her back and shoulders, careful not to press too hard. The night before had indeed been perfect, more so than any fantasy he had injured up in his dreams, and because of that he was afraid of what was to come. To lose what he had just gained. Before Rey he had little to lose, besides himself which he did not care for, but now he had everything to lose and to gain. The thought of those possibilities being snuffed out like a candlelit flame sent a cold chill through his body numbing his mind. Rey seemed to sense this and caressed his face and showered his cheeks, lips, and neck with soft kisses.