I don't need help (Luke Hemmings) /Editing/

Fall For You

Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade

(Picture of Ashton)

-

Last night meeting those boys made me feel like everything was okay but I woke up feeling like I should just take a whole bottle of pills.

But I couldn't find any pills.

I had packed some but I think my mum took them out while I was asleep.

"Fuck" I said to myself "there's gotta be something else"

I searched the downstairs cabinets and there was nothing.

"What are you looking for?"

I jumped.

"Goodness!" I held my heart and shut the cabinet. 

I turned and faced a sleepy eyed Luke. His hair was flat and he was just in pajama pants.

I kept eye contact.

"What are you looking for?" he repeated himself.

"Advil" I told him

He came over to me and reached above my head, I was squished up against the counter.

"Here" he handed me 1 and then put the bottle back where I couldn't even reach it with a chair.

1 isn't going to do shit for me.

"Thanks" I put on a fake smile and was heading back to my room but he stopped me.

"Aren't you going to take that?"

Fuck!

I turned back around and he was holding out a water bottle for me. I took it and put the pill in my mouth but I hid it under my tongue.

I took a swig of water and swallowed it.

"Thank you"

I quickly headed up to my room and locked the door.

I took the pill out of my mouth and hid it in my top drawer of my wardrobe.

If I was only going to get 1 a day, I would need to save them up.

In just 29 days I'll be gone and my parents will be happy that their fucked up child won't cause anymore problems for them.

"Selfish bitch" I told myself and quickly rushed into the bathroom.

I shut the door and quickly locked it before I grabbed a blade.

Before I even knew it I had brought it up to my arm and cut it deeply.

I usually don't do my arms but I couldn't help it. I cut up and down both arms until you could not see the color of my skin just blood.

"Bitch"

I shut my eyes and slammed my head into the back of the door.

There was pain but I ignored it and kept doing it before I was knocked out maybe I'll be knocked out for good.

♤

    I awoke to someone shouting my name.

I opened my eyes and I was on the bathroom floor still, the blood on my arms was now dry.

"Hold on!" I shouted back and stood up.

I looked at the clock and notice I was out cold for about 3 hours.

I wish it was more than that.

I quickly took a wash rag and started to wash the blood off until all you could see was the marks.

Quickly, I got out of the bathroom and put bracelets on both arms so my cuts were covered.

When they were all covered I pulled open the door and a worried looking Luke was standing there pulling at his hair.

"Hi Luke" I said

"Why in the hell haven't you been answering the door?" he snapped "I thought something bad happened to you"

I wish something bad had happened to me.

"I have been knocking on your door for over an hour now" he continued "what were you even doing?"

"Well it's not really your business but I was sleeping" I lied with an attitude "is it a crime to sleep?"

"No but I couldn't hear anything like you snoring or anything"

"Well sorry I don't snore then!" I said sarcastic.

His eyes looked angry and then they softened.

"I'm sorry" he said in a whisper.

I barely heard that.

"Me too" I gave in like I always do "I shouldn't have been a bitch because you were worried about me being okay"

"Truce?" he asked holding out his hand

"Truce" I smiled and shook it.

"I like that one"

He pointed to my bracelet that says 'Linkin Park' on it in black.

"Thank you" I smiled and put my arms to my sides so he wouldn't be looking at my arms any longer.

"So.... would you um like to go get some dinner with me? Annie won't be home till late and I don't feel like cooking"

I am hungry "Sure"

♤

  I traced the rim of my drink with my finger.

We are currently at Nandos waiting for out food to come.

This is probably my 5000th time eating  Nandos, I could eat it everyday.

"So" Luke said snapping me out of my thoughts and making me look up at him "when's your birthday?"

"July 19th" I told him "I turn the big 18!"

"Me too!" he exclaimed "July 16th so I'm 3 days older then you"

I rolled my eyes at him but with a smile on my face. I looked down so he wouldn't notice it but it was to late for that.

"You're smiling" he stated

"Well yeah dumbass" I looked back up and he was smirking at me.

"Do you think it's possible for someone to be in love with someone they just met 2 days ago?" he asked which caught me off guard.

He can't be talking about me, can he?

I shrugged "Maybe"

"Well maybe I'm in love with you and one day I guarantee you will be in love with me too"

Is this lad insane?  I really have never been in love so I don't know the feeling. What I'm feeling, can't be love. It just can't.

"I doubt that" I mumbled