I drove 90 on the highway, crying the entire ride home. Gil tired to talk me, he tried to console me but there was nothing he could say to make me feel better about losing her again. We finally pulled up to my place and I leaned my head against the steering wheel.
"What happened with you and Janet tonight?"
"Gil we slept together."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah man, she trusted me and gave herself to me. Everything was perfect and I wake up to this. I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did wrong."
"Babe something is very wrong here but it's not you. I know she has made some bad choices but Shawn this time something feels off. I don't think this is really want she wants."
"Well it's too late now isn't it. She made her choice. I'm done chasing her Gil. I refuse to let her break my heart more than once. Im going to back to bed. I will catch you later." We got out of the car and I headed upstairs.
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This was most frustrating things I'd ever gone through. All I wanted to do was text and call her and beg her to leave him. I wanted to beg her be with me. "No fuck that. I'm not begging her, if that's what she wants then she can have it." I laid on the couch and staring at her phone for a moment. I wished Janet would just text me. Nothing. I sat down against the glass in front of my bed as the memories of her and I were clear as day and right in front of my eyes. When I closed them I could hear her. I could hear her breath staggering out. I got up and walked over to my messy bed. Pillows still on the floor, sheets every where. I could smell her on my sheets.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!" I yelled as loud as I could falling to the bed and sobbing. My heart was completely shattered.
Janet
It's been a few weeks since I have seen or spoken with Shawn. We had taken a few weeks off but it was rehearsal time again. I was nervous walking back into the studio. As I entered the room all the kids greeted me with hugs and kisses and asked how I was feeling.
"You ready to get back on the grind." Tina asked.
"Yeah I am, where is Shawn and Gil?" I said looking around.
"Oh they should be arriving soon. We had them stop to get water and coffee." Just as Tina said that, they walked in. Gil walked in first looking back towards the door, smiling and laughing. I had been avoiding him for weeks, until he finally stopped calling and texting. After he cleared the doorway I saw them. Shawn walked in arm and arm with Amelia, she stopped and kissed her goodbye. She turned around, she glanced directly at me. I quickly turned away and walked into the restroom. My face felt hot and tears fell freely like never before. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I needed to get it to together. I wiped my face on my sleeve and came out of the stall just as Shawn walked in.
"Hey." She said.
"Leave me alone Shawn." I avoided looking at her and she cornered me against the sink.
"I just want to know what I did wrong for you to treat me this way out of no where?"
"Shawn please move." I asked and stepped to the side. I pushed past her and walked out of the restroom.
Walking out it felt like all eyes were on me. I was mistaken. It was just Gil, burning all whole through my head from across the room. I hated when he was mad at me. I felt tears swelling in my eyes all over again and I walked outside. I needed some fresh air. He of course followed me.
"Some friend you are." He said walking up behind me.
I snapped my head around to look at him. "Really Gil, that's how you're gonna come at me?"
"You haven't returned any of my texts or calls in three weeks Janet. Three! I have been worried sick about you being there with him!" He yelled.
"Keep your voice down please."
"For what? Are you afraid someone might hear some of your secrets?" He knows how private I am and would never tell a soul anything without my permission. I knew this. He only got this way when I hurt his feelings.
"Look, come here." He folded his arms and turned away from me. His face was red and he was crying. He waved me off with his hands. "Gil Duldulao. Come here right now before I call your mother and tell her how you are out here acting." I was crying now.
"Call her. I already told her my side. Hashtag Team Gil bitch." I laughed and he did too. I took his hand pulled him to me.
"Hug me back you ol cow." I said pulling his arms around me. It felt good to have him in my arms again. I love this kid. He pulled back and looked at me.
"I need to know what's going on. We talk about everything and I know that you're keeping something from me Dunk. Don't go through this alone. Especially when you don't have to."
"Okay babe, okay." Just as I was going to start explaining. Reńe's car pulled up. His driver got out and opened the door allowing him to step out and into view. "We will talk later."
"Dunk..."
"Later Gil." I said sternly. He nodded, cut his at Reńe and turned to talk walk back inside.
Reńe sized up the outside of the studio. "I hope it looks better on the inside." He said smugly.
"Rehearsals are closed babe, you know that." I said.
"You're kidding right? You're this boss, you can do what the fuck you want." He told his driver to wait outside and grabbed my hand leading me into the studio.
"Can we get started now love birds?" Tina said looking at her watch. "We don't have all day."
We were an hour into rehearsal and things wasn't looking good. Anytime Shawn and I got near each other, one of us missed a step. It didn't help that Reńe was watching from a chair near by. I glanced him. He held up two fingers like gun and point towards Shawn. I glanced around the room. No one noticed.
For the remainder of the rehearsal I tried my hardest and danced until my feet were killing me. Tina finally called it and thank god she did. I sat down on the floor the first chance I got. All I wanted to was go home and lock myself in the restroom were I could be alone with a hot bath. I could hear them talking about going out and I knew they were going to ask me. I really didn't want to go. Tina walked towards me.
"Everyone is going out, wanna go?"
"No I don't feel like being in a loud club tonight."
"Oh no Jan. We're going to a restaurant. They let me rent it out for the night. It'll just be us and if people want to invite someone they can." Reńe walker up behind Tina.
