Gil pulled up as I stood just on the inside of the door to Shawn's building. I opened it and met him halfway. It was pretty obvious that I'd been crying. He could tell right away and he held his arms open as he approached me quickly.
"Dunk, come here babe." He said pulling me into an embrace. He held me for awhile and let me cry. "What happened?" He asked a few times as I continued to weep, not saying a word.
Once in his car, we rode in silence and Gil occasionally glanced in my direction. I did my best to avoid his eyes because I wasn't ready to talk about it. So I remained quiet and attempted to get my thoughts and emotions together. The day had been exhausting and nothing sounded better than my bed.
A sense of relief came over me as we pulled into the driveway of my home.
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Once in my bedroom , I began changing my clothes and Gil stretched across the bed.
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He just watched me walk back in forth. I was finding anything I could to distract myself. He stood, gently grabbed me by the arm and forced me to stand still.
"Dunk, can we sit for a second, please." He said, convincing me to join him on the bed. I just looked at him, shaking my head, trying to hold back the tears but they just kept coming. "What happened tonight Janet?" He asked again as he reached over to the end table to grab the box of tissues as the tears started to stream down my cheeks. I just gazed at him.
"She's wasted so much of her life on me Gil." I said finally.
"Hey, don't say that. You've given her the the opportunity to do something wonderful with herself. So trust this has not been a waste for her at all." He said.
"I don't mean that." I looked down at my hands in my lap. "You know I guess I thought she would always just be there when I was ready." I looked at her. "How could I do that to her? Now it's too late. She doesn't want to be with me anymore."
"I think she's just frustrated and a little worn out with this but I know she loves you. Why don't you let me talk to her." Gil said, but I shook my head and stood up in front of him. The sadness in me was quickly shifting into anger and all though I knew I had no right to be mad, my heart was breaking.
